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Jessica Leigh May 2014
I don't care
How many pale
Patches of sunlight
Had groped their way
Through that curtain.
It would still leave
Blood red stains
Of some kind of light
On his newly cleaned
Carpet.
Jessica Leigh May 2014
I wish I had kept that jacket when I had the chance back in January.
Jessica Leigh May 2014
I want destruction
Everyone tells me that poetry is a form of such
But my therapist tells me it's great for my health
I don't want healthy.
I want bony ankles and legs and
A concave stomach
Filled with pills
That is also covered in my own form
Of detriment.
I want ****** and death that is also beautiful.
So maybe I do want poetry.
But I want it written in my eyes
So everyone can see what happens
Inside of my head.
Jessica Leigh May 2014
i threw them against walls
out of a fit of anger at someone
i dont think it was you
but your bracelet hit the wall first
then my christmas present
i almost broke the new necklace's chain
because im not giving up on you
but they keep telling me im bad for you
because i know i am
despite what you say
i know i hurt you so much
and i just want to stop that
but i dont know how without
hurting myself in the process
Jessica Leigh May 2014
It's become
Routine
To walk alone
Down the freshman
Hallway on b-days
And to have
An empty seat
Where you should
Be during band.
I wonder if she
Makes note
Of your empty
Seat in her class.
I know your
Friends are still
Angry,
But they don't
Show it to me
As much anymore.
I'm still the one
They blame.
It's become
Routine
To wake up
Every morning
And swing the
Pendant of my
Necklace around
To the front and
To pull the chain
Until it is in
Its place.
Because we are
Playing this
Out right for once
And I can't help
But be sad
At the idea
That when I fix
This chain
You stop thinking
Of me.
Jessica Leigh May 2014
That was the first time I have been able to really breathe in weeks.
Jessica Leigh May 2014
i saw your green eyes and i knew you
there was no doubt in my mind as to who you were
i saw those days at your fathers house
and i hope im the best memory you have of those walls
there were the moments of hands and unfairness
snapshots of us, of you beside me,
raced through my mind like a movie
and i had you and i knew you
i knew the girl who broke on bathroom floors
and gave me hair bands when my stomach couldn't take it
there you were in all of your glory
the one who loves basketball and her clarinet
i heard your voice and knew it would be okay
but not when you were speaking to her
it was only when you spoke to me
that i knew we would make it past this
your green eyes shone
like the day you asked me for my number
and the night you told me you knew about my scars
you couldn't say you loved me
just like i couldn't say it back to you
but i was shaking far too much to return the look
so i called you girlie because that made sense
i knew you.

Anna,
I knew who you were.
At first glance.
You were the girl who was mine.

I didn't forget you this time.
I think I just forgot my own name.
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