The mind
picked up an idea
from reading
to just relax
and vibrate with it
so the mind
since it likes to add
thought just relax
and harmonize with it
and then
just relax
and resonate with it
and I am in favor
of all these techniques
but it strikes me
that this additive nature
of the mind
creates too much
so what I have been doing
is simplifying.
I just harmonize
with everything.

There is only one door
to the world
and it is always open
so come in
with your eyes
and focus
on the big everything
which this is
and it is also
just your plain old
everyday life.

I proposed
in my mind
to Kwanseum Bosal
the Bodhisattva
of Great Compassion
so a little while ago
I had a dream
where I was to go
to my wedding
but I didn't want
to go
so today
I switched around
my Buddhist altars
to give Kwanseum Bosal
a permanent altar
of her own
and I decided
instead of marrying her
I would worship her.

John Cage once told me that a crossroads was where he came to where he had to do a decision about whether to go in the direction of what he intended or in the direction of what he didn't intend and that he decided to go in the direction of what he didn't intend.
I was going to have great northern beans.
I instead ate kidney beans.
The not-doing of this doing that I am doing is always present.
See, I am resting while I am not resting.

Punching in
early in the night
or any old time
for a job
that pays
no money
I gain insight
into the profession
of the unsuccessful artist
who has to do his work
with nothing to gain
except the accomplishment
since that's the way
it is.

"Who am I?"
Me, but not
the word me.
"What am I?"
A man but not
the word man.
"Where am I?"
Here but not
the word here.
"When am I?"
Now but not
the word now.
"Why am I?"
Because I'm me,
a man, here and now,
but not those words.
"How am I?"
Fine.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
I don't know...

I saw
Finding Nemo
which is
a Walt Disney movie
awhile back,
and I remembered it
tonight
and the story
that it told,
so the story
is about
being home,
leaving home,
and coming back home,
so I realized
that is
a great story,
so here goes -
"I am sitting in this chair,
thinking,
I'm getting bored of it,
so what's there to do?
I know,
I'll go write a poem,
and I leave
the chair,
and go write a poem,
and then come back
to the chair
and think"
so that's the story
and I hope
you liked it.

"Dreams can come true,
it can happen to you..."
so, yeah,
like that dream
I just had
where I was
diagnosed
with cancer,
or that dream
I just had
where there were
some sort of
flesh eating fish
stuck between my toes,
or that dream
I just had
where there were
bugs attacking me,
or that dream
about the end of the world
with me on some
nuclear submarine,
or even
my lame daydreams
about fame and success,
all these can come true,
but let's hope not.

I smoke,
so cancer
is probably likely,
so since it is
and I still want to smoke,
I had to learn
how to stop worrying
about it,
so I remember
that as a little kid
my parents took me
to a movie
called, "Dr. Strangelove - Or
How I Learned
To Stop Worrying
And Love The Bomb"
and it was about
nuclear holocaust,
so since I was afraid
of that happening,
the movie
cheered me up,
because at the end
there are these beautiful images
of mushroom clouds everywhere
as a woman is singing,
"We'll meet again,
don't know where,
don't know when"
and so
in the same way
I have learned
how to stop worrying
about cancer,
and in the old days
people didn't worry
because they didn't know
about cancer,
and they lived their lives
and died at about eighty,
but now
people worry
for their whole lives
and fight cancer
if it has been found
and struggle
and die when they're
about eighty.

The first precept
in Zen Buddhism
is to not harm,
but cherish all life,
and yesterday
I decided
that not only
didn't I cherish all life,
I really didn't like it
very much,
so I got angry
inside
and decided
to give up my Zen practice,
so I did,
for about fifteen hours,
when then
I went back
to doing it,
so I'm a fickle Buddhist,
the mind keeps changing
about it all the time,
but I am also
a die-hard Buddhist,
because I always seem
to go back to it,
but I'm not alone
because the old monks
in the old days
got so *******
about Zen
that they spat
on the Buddha sculpture,
but I haven't done that
yet.

Staring at a carpet,
he submits the mind
to a haze. She stands

up and counts by twos.
Why do we see a turning?
Almost time to pack up,

he waits for a certain
impulse. The blue car
with a flag for some

sticker is cold and
happy. Instead of a
clock, he uses the

broken fog to direct
his worthless trip
to that tired store.

Writing poetry
is a hindrance and a help.
The internet
is a hindrance and a help.
Following your breath
is a hindrance and a help.
When you practice spirituality
you will encounter
a hindrance and a help.
The rich people of the world
who think they are winning
because they are so blessed
with piles of money
are a hindrance and a help.
The governments of the world
who are practicing mind control
to subdue the population
by making them crazy
are a hindrance and a help.
Business and government
that use subliminal messaging
to make themselves secure
by making the people insane
are a hindrance and a help.
Life is a hindrance and a help.
Death is a hindrance and a help.
You might say
that it's all good.

I woke up with a different self and other inside.
They were a bit depressed.
I think I have billions or so others and selves inside.
So, in order to cheer us up, I did some meditation practices.
It helped a little.
We're still a trifle bummed out, but so be it.
We are a delusion of electro-magnetic bio-chemistry, or so I think.
I'm here somewhere, but I don't say anything in my old familiar voice.
It's OK though, we're happy often.

I can feel
my Theta brain waves
all over my body
with that inaudible sound
that makes me feel
like I have melted.

When I was a kid,
my brother and I
used to make fun
of Christian healers,
because we thought
they were fakes,
but when I grew up,
I developed serious mental illness
that psychiatry
couldn't seem
to cure,
so I turned
to religion
because I thought
it was my only hope,
but in mental illness,
sometimes
religion is more
of a problem
than a solution,
so after studying Zen
for forty years,
I'm still on the same medication
and seeing a psychiatrist
for the same old disease
that I was born with,
and that was after
a hellish time
spent with religion,
so when some people
brought the Dalai Lama
a young child
with a broken leg
and pleaded with him
to heal the child,
he said,
"Take this child
to the hospital."

Jumping into the gorge
with a weird bird overhead
the word pop is written in the sky
as the black fairy princess bows.

"Unh...This is not like...unh...life as we know it, is it?" - Maxine

I know what you mean, Maxine,
this is not like life as we know it,
but that's only because
life as we know it
is not like
life as it is.

If I were named Violet,
would I still smell as much?
If my name was Phil,
would I stink so sweet?
I am the poet, Herbert, or
Isit? My real false name
Isearl. Of course, not.
My real name is
then tooth bone foodair
soaked tin watch Bag-O-Soul
outin now.
I could change names
if I wanted to
but I am afraid
of lawyers and you.

In the basement,
I dance
the five animals
every day,
and one
of the animals
is a bird,
so I become
something like
a grackle
with its purple head,
and soar
in the mind
as I am walking
in a figure eight
around a small area
with my arms outstretched,
and this exercise
is an trip to wonder land
for me
and it's good
for the old ticker
which could use
some help.

So there was
vast empty space
in which there was
a small ball
of extremely tight matter
in the space
and it was orange
in color
I think
and all of us
in the universe
were there,
we were part of it,
and it got thinking
about finding what
was out there
in that empty space,
so it blew up
and all of us
went flying off
into that empty space
where we are now
on these planet space things
going out
to see what
is out there
in empty space,
so I guess
that's how it goes.

The young
follow the old
because of
their years
of experience.

The old
follow the young
because they know
where the action is.

The Buddha
is best heard
in the voice
of a little child.

The ancient
wise baby
gives a Dharma talk
by laughing.

I was sitting
on the patio
when I intended
to meditate
in a certain way
that I do,
when the mind
spoke up
and suggested
that it might be dangerous
and that I should do something else
and I remembered
what John Cage
told me
about doing what he didn't intend
so after a bit of indecision
I decided to do
what mind told me to do
and that's why I'm here.

When I was young,
I thought
that the only artists
that there were,
were the famous ones
that I heard about,
because there is this
illusion
in our culture
that the famous people
are the only visible people,
so I thought
that if I grew up
and became
an artist, poet, composer,
musician, dancer, photographer,
etc.
that I would be
one of the famous ones,
but what I didn't know
was that for every one
of the famous ones,
there are zillions
of people on the bottom,
who can't get anywhere,
who work at the arts
for their entire lives
and their stuff winds up
in the dumpster,
and I found out
that there are very few of us
who wind up
like Van Gogh, too,
like that our art
becomes famous
after we die,
so it's the one percent
and ninety nine percent
law
of our culture
that applies to the economy
and also to this thing
that I am involved with
called art.
Good Luck!

I believe
that life
as it is
is the one true refuge
the one true vehicle
and that impermanence
is not about death
but about transformation
change and metamorphosis
so
no death
no birth
life-only!

I have had
a continuous headache
for forty years
that doesn't get
any better
but it does get
worse.

I declared that yesterday
was The International
Appreciation Of Daily Life
Day
and when I woke up today
I knew that every day
should be that too.

Here are some more
empty words
that don't help
because we don't
actually need
any help.

There seem to be
three gods these days,
the Good god,
the Bad god,
and the cool god,
and I have been
on the side
of the Good god,
which is the side
of religion,
and that is
the side
that cleans you up,
and that side
is all wrong,
so I have been
on the side
of the Bad god,
and that is
the side
that makes you a mess,
with drugs and *****
and bad ***,
so that is a side
which is all wrong,
but now,
for today
and I hope
for a long time,
I am on the side
of the cool god,
who is the guy
who teaches the people
to be kind
and not hurt anybody,
even though
his followers aren't religious
about it.

Everyday life
Everyday life
Everyday life
I love it

Everyday life
Everyday life
Everyday life
I love it

Sometimes it's hard
Sometimes it's hard
Sometimes it's easy
Sometimes it's easy

Everyday life
Everyday life
Everyday life
I love it

Sometimes it's hard
Sometimes it's easy
Either way
I love it

Everyday life
Everyday life
Everyday life
I love it!

(I'm washing my brain)

We are all searching
and looking
and leaning
and grasping
for it,
and we don't know
what it is
but we are all
searching and looking
and leaning and grasping
for it,
so I found it,
even if I don't know it,
but it is nothing
and doesn't exist,
but I think
that we all have it,
we all have it
right now,
and we have been looking
for it,
but we just didn't know
that we had it
all along,
so relax
and enjoy it,
we've got it,
so that's all.

Like things,
say,
small caught kiss,
watch lilacs sing,

Forget.

Told break,
make hymns,
Know. Die.
Wet soft green
stops eyes.

Grass hands.

Yes.
Best.

All of my life I have been afraid of The One Truly Bad Thing.
Death.
With the help of my religion, however, I seem to have come to terms with it.
There is, though, the thing that most of us are even more afraid of.
The One Truly Bad Thing Which Leads Up To The One Truly Bad Thing.
That is the thing like cancer or heart attack or stroke or car accident or getting shot by a ******.
This is the thing that really hurts.
I can't seem to come to complete terms with this even with the help of my religion.
Then there is that other Bad Thing.
This is the thing that is so bad that it freaks everybody out.
The End Of The World!
I don't know about this.
But, you know, the dinosaurs died.
One thing that I do know is that if you watch the media, you might think that it's coming, but if you don't, if you just watch the everyday world, you probably won't think it's coming.
I suppose we could explode because some star goes supernova or something, or the north pole becomes the south pole or something, but I don't know.
Actually, not knowing has saved me thus far.
Sure does seem like there are more Bad Things than Good Things on this planet, but if you think like I do, that every moment of life is a Good Thing, then it's not so bad.
I don't know, most people don't think so.

A Tibetan Lama taught me a form of meditation.
I just did it.
When he did it, it just looked like he was sitting.
Just that.
He didn't blink much, but I do.
Later, we had dinner together.
He told me that my spiritual life was not half bad...and not half good.
I agree.
I'll try to improve.

The first thought
is the enlightened one
and the second thought
is the Buddha one
and both are bothered
by doubts
so I don't know
which thought to follow

And Bob Dylan sang
"Don't think twice,
It's allright"
but I've been puzzled
about that advice
all my life

so it strikes me
that where I am
is where I am
and what I do
is what I do

it's probably
just perfect
that way
but as a Zen master
said,
"There's still
some room
for improvement!"

Mind/body energy should
not have an outflow
and should not have
an inflow, if we are to maintain
our peace of mind,
but we must breathe
and we must think
most of the time,
so care is needed
to make sure that our energies
do not create trouble.

A big storm is coming.
I don't mean that metaphorically.
I'm a believer in the signless.
It's just that a storm is coming in February.
Storms probably should come in February.
They always have seemed to come in February.
I hope the electricity doesn't go off.
I will try the philosophy of radical acceptance.
That way if the electricity goes off, I'm OK and if it doesn't, I'm OK.
A big storm is coming.
OK!

Front

1. Work
2. Me
3. Cat
4. White Fire Santa
5. Pores

     Back

1. Red Bodhidharma
2. Mist
3. Zen Moon

I was at a Zen temple
where there was a person
with a shaved head
wearing a robe
and I couldn't tell
if it was a man or a woman.

I am writing
with my common ground pen
a poem
for five minutes
about right now
as the computer tower hums
and my Pendleton overshirt
rests on the black vinyl chair
with both feet parallel
firmly placed on the colorful
carpet
and the lights of green
of the high-speed internet
connection
turned-on
and I sit facing the green
wooden desk
which comes apart
into three
as the mind seems to be
focused on a visual and auditory
experience
of being.

Sitting in a black vinyl chair,
I put my hands one on top
of the other,
and breathe deeply
while reciting inside
six precious words
which empty my mind
as I become being itself
just sitting there
in a black vinyl chair.

"One thousand changes of mind in the time of a snap of your fingers" - Gelek Rimpoche

Change your mind
if you have
a problem with it.

It seems to me
that the state of existence
is the state of
sick/well
and that suffering
is forever
and that health
is forever
and that there is no escape
from either.
The trick is to be content
by accepting both, simultaneously.

This ink is dry
with wetness
on a sunny fall afternoon
when we made a change
since we were told
of the coming that wasn't
and the going that isn't
so our feeling is
like a cotton sweater.

The computer hums
while the mind hisses
with the words
being only the top
of the vastness
of the full unseen mind
which whirs
with activity
of an awake dream
which states
quite frankly
what is already known
and unknown.

A question was asked.
She answered.
     There was interest.
     Another question.
She began talking
about a presentation
that she was going to do.
     There was a response
     about the fear
     of public speaking.
She agreed, and both laughed.
     (that was social
      ******* with
      no interruption and
      neither person
      talked too much,
      or too little)
     (both felt better).

Noisy, talking brain
is actually the same
as quiet, still mind
so I can quit worrying
about quieting the thoughts.

Unseen,
together giving.

There are dark places
in my mind
where my thoughts
if left to themselves
will be drawn
because these places
have a wound inside of them
that requires healing
but when my thoughts
fly into the dark places
the wounds bleed
and they become painful
so the obvious answer
is to be careful
of where the thoughts
are flying
and guide them
to the better places
like the areas
of humor
and poetry.

This morning, at night,
the mind was ranting
about how I was lousy
at art and such a loser,
so I said that I
am not interested
in success,
I only want
to do.
The mind then shut up
and I got busy.
Keep in mind
that the mind is tricky
and hard to understand,
since it is Buddha.

I danced the seven animals.
Then I danced them backwards.
We are all deluded about the nature of life.
It may be written, it may be being written.
I saw the Great Mountain.
The dead have never left us.
Johnny Carson was on television tonight.