A bodhisattva
lives here
on the computer,
along with many more,
and they often
write poetry,
because their hearts
are ****** with pain,
because we all know
that their path
is impossible,
and no one
will be saved,
but they keep trying
and never give up,
because their hearts
are pure,
so I would tell them
not to watch TV,
because saving the world
requires
that we save ourselves,
because once
the man is saved,
the world is saved,
so be peace,
and peace will spread
like ripples.

Throughout my life,
I have felt crummy,
even as a child,
and for all these years,
I have been looking for
a cure for feeling crummy,
so I found one,
tonight,
since I was in
the basement,
feeling crummy,
it occurred to me
that feeling crummy
is the same feeling
as being ******
on many kinds
of recreational drugs,
and the only difference is
that we like to be ******,
but we don't like
to feel crummy,
so all I had to do
was to think
that I was ******,
instead of crummy,
and it worked!
so I became
instantly happier
and felt much better,
so that's my cure
for feeling lousy,
just think
that you are ******.

I think
I have good taste
in music,
since I have studied it
formally,
but it occurs to me
that my taste
is sometimes
in my mouth
and that I am a phony
sometimes
about what
I really like,
for example
I used to listen
to "Twenty First Century Schizoid Man"
and loved it,
but I had
a secret crush
on Captain and Tenneille's
"Love Will Keep Us Together"
and I wouldn't tell anyone,
because it wasn't correct
to like it,
so, I am a closet fan
of Madonna,
even though
I'm not supposed to be,
and liked Prince and Michael Jackson
which, at the time,
I wasn't supposed to,
because if I told
my friends,
they would thumb
their noses.

I saw
Finding Nemo
which is
a Walt Disney movie
awhile back,
and I remembered it
tonight
and the story
that it told,
so the story
is about
being home,
leaving home,
and coming back home,
so I realized
that is
a great story,
so here goes -
"I am sitting in this chair,
thinking,
I'm getting bored of it,
so what's there to do?
I know,
I'll go write a poem,
and I leave
the chair,
and go write a poem,
and then come back
to the chair
and think"
so that's the story
and I hope
you liked it.

There seem to be
three gods these days,
the Good god,
the Bad god,
and the cool god,
and I have been
on the side
of the Good god,
which is the side
of religion,
and that is
the side
that cleans you up,
and that side
is all wrong,
so I have been
on the side
of the Bad god,
and that is
the side
that makes you a mess,
with drugs and *****
and bad ***,
so that is a side
which is all wrong,
but now,
for today
and I hope
for a long time,
I am on the side
of the cool god,
who is the guy
who teaches the people
to be kind
and not hurt anybody,
even though
his followers aren't religious
about it.

The first precept
in Zen Buddhism
is to not harm,
but cherish all life,
and yesterday
I decided
that not only
didn't I cherish all life,
I really didn't like it
very much,
so I got angry
inside
and decided
to give up my Zen practice,
so I did,
for about fifteen hours,
when then
I went back
to doing it,
so I'm a fickle Buddhist,
the mind keeps changing
about it all the time,
but I am also
a die-hard Buddhist,
because I always seem
to go back to it,
but I'm not alone
because the old monks
in the old days
got so *******
about Zen
that they spat
on the Buddha sculpture,
but I haven't done that
yet.

This morning,
I woke up feeling bitter
about life
and it was
a bad chemistry,
so, later,
since my mind
is pointed
toward love,
it changed
and the chemistry got
a little better,
but this morning
I decided
that the best chemistry
is the chemistry of indifference,
but not the kind
of indifference that rejects,
like you usually know about,
but the kind of indifference
that accepts,
like "It is what it is
and that's what it is",
so this chemistry
was the best I could muster,
so, I'm sitting here now,
listening to the birds
and feeling a bit indifferent
to life in general
but in a good way,
like OK,
so this is the way it is,
so ok.

When I was a kid,
my brother and I
used to make fun
of Christian healers,
because we thought
they were fakes,
but when I grew up,
I developed serious mental illness
that psychiatry
couldn't seem
to cure,
so I turned
to religion
because I thought
it was my only hope,
but in mental illness,
sometimes
religion is more
of a problem
than a solution,
so after studying Zen
for forty years,
I'm still on the same medication
and seeing a psychiatrist
for the same old disease
that I was born with,
and that was after
a hellish time
spent with religion,
so when some people
brought the Dalai Lama
a young child
with a broken leg
and pleaded with him
to heal the child,
he said,
"Take this child
to the hospital."

I recently
got into
a little kundalini yoga
and joined
the Zen group
on Facebook,
and it was like
being plugged into
an electric socket.
I didn't sing
the body electric,
I freaked out.
Panic, anxiety,
and mania ensued.
This ****
can be dangerous.
I saw my doctor
and he gave me
more medicine.
Now, I'm fine.
Whew.

I have studied
my head
for my whole life,
and I've read
a little psychology
and a lot of religion
and my head
has been studied
by doctors,
so thoughts
interest me
and it seems
like there
is this voice
in there
who is something
that I could call me
and these other
voices
who I could call
voices
or thoughts
or whatever,
but, you know,
it dawned on me
that all it is
is the action
of electromagnetic biochemistry
in my head,
and I think
oh...
so that's what
I've gotten
so crazy about
for all these years.

I smoke,
so cancer
is probably likely,
so since it is
and I still want to smoke,
I had to learn
how to stop worrying
about it,
so I remember
that as a little kid
my parents took me
to a movie
called, "Dr. Strangelove - Or
How I Learned
To Stop Worrying
And Love The Bomb"
and it was about
nuclear holocaust,
so since I was afraid
of that happening,
the movie
cheered me up,
because at the end
there are these beautiful images
of mushroom clouds everywhere
as a woman is singing,
"We'll meet again,
don't know where,
don't know when"
and so
in the same way
I have learned
how to stop worrying
about cancer,
and in the old days
people didn't worry
because they didn't know
about cancer,
and they lived their lives
and died at about eighty,
but now
people worry
for their whole lives
and fight cancer
if it has been found
and struggle
and die when they're
about eighty.

When I was in the start
of my mental illness problem,
I exhibited physical movements
which bothered me,
because I thought they
were crazy,
but now, some forty years later,
I realized
that what I was doing
was mental illness yoga,
which was the body's way
of trying to cure me,
and the first yogic movement
that I did
was rocking back and forth
as I was sitting,
so now
I have tried it
by synchronizing
my breathing
and my internal music
along with it,
and it becomes
very healing,
so my mentally ill mother
used to tap
her fingers
on her legs
one at a time,
so I have tried that
and synchronized it,
and a friend
used to pull down
on his sideburns
in a kind of stroking manner,
so that's a good one,
and another friend
stroked his legs
back and forth
just above the knees,
and that one is excellent,
so I move my legs
in opposite directions, fast,
back and forth,
and that one works well,
so I roll my head around
in circles,
and that actually is
a yogic practice
called head rolls,
and I move my head
back and forth, sideways,
like Stevie Wonder,
and that works great,
so I would suggest
that if you have
any kind of eccentric movements
like these,
to develop them
and turn them into yoga,
because it just might be
the answer
to many problems.

"Dreams can come true,
it can happen to you..."
so, yeah,
like that dream
I just had
where I was
diagnosed
with cancer,
or that dream
I just had
where there were
some sort of
flesh eating fish
stuck between my toes,
or that dream
I just had
where there were
bugs attacking me,
or that dream
about the end of the world
with me on some
nuclear submarine,
or even
my lame daydreams
about fame and success,
all these can come true,
but let's hope not.

I think
Zen has been taught
all wrong
for a long time,
because the common understanding
is that Zen gives you
peace of mind,
an empty mind,
a mind which doesn't think,
and other such hogwash,
so I can explain
what Zen meditation
does to me,
and that is
that it brings up
much chi energy
to my head,
because of the way
that the eyes are fixed
and the posture
and the breathing
and the mantra,
and so
the mind becomes
stronger, more powerful,
more active,
not more peaceful
and passive,
and as such
it is conducive
to such phenomena
as internal music,
much thinking,
channeling,
telepathy and psychic powers,
seeing things,
hearing things,
and imagining things,
therefore
if you are getting into Zen
for peace of mind,
you've gone
to the wrong place.

So, I was sitting
in the basement,
when I decided
what I already knew,
and that is
that I believe
in kindness,
and kindness
to all being
and beings,
even the Evil One,
Mara,
so, as I thought that,
a dark shadow
appeared next to me,
and I said,
"How are you doing, Mara?"
and he replied,
in my mind,
"I will crush your head,
and defile you,
and defeat you,
and throw you into the pit!",
so, as my head
was tightening,
I thought,
"Well...ok...if you have to...",
so I had a vision
of myself in a pit,
and I thought,
"Well, I'll still be kind",
so, Mara said
in a voice in my head,
"My job is to scare people...
your job is to be kind..."
so, I thought back
to him,
"OK...it's a deal!"
then I went upstairs
to this computer
and burned a CD
to give to a friend.
So, all is well,
here...now.

When I was young,
I thought
that the only artists
that there were,
were the famous ones
that I heard about,
because there is this
illusion
in our culture
that the famous people
are the only visible people,
so I thought
that if I grew up
and became
an artist, poet, composer,
musician, dancer, photographer,
etc.
that I would be
one of the famous ones,
but what I didn't know
was that for every one
of the famous ones,
there are zillions
of people on the bottom,
who can't get anywhere,
who work at the arts
for their entire lives
and their stuff winds up
in the dumpster,
and I found out
that there are very few of us
who wind up
like Van Gogh, too,
like that our art
becomes famous
after we die,
so it's the one percent
and ninety nine percent
law
of our culture
that applies to the economy
and also to this thing
that I am involved with
called art.
Good Luck!

I was meditating
with the life mudra
in an attempt
to understand life,
and so I chanted
the first word
that came to mind
and it was "Mo"
so I thought
of homosexuality
and Larry and Curly
and then I chanted
the second word
which came to mind
and it was "Da"
and I thought of
my late father
and just now
I think of stupidity
and then I chanted
the third word
which came to mind
and it was "Su"
so I thought of
my first girl friend
and I am thinking
of litigation
so I thought of
the fourth word
which came to mind
and it was "Ma"
so I thought of
my late mother
and the Korean word
for mind,
so I put them all together
and I got
"Modasuma"
which meant
spring, summer, fall, and winter
to me
and then I looked
modasuma
up on the internet
and gathered
in my ignorance
of the Spanish language
that moda suma
is a South American museum
that was visited
by Amy Winehouse.

I recently read
that Brautigan's last manuscipt
had small pieces
of his brain matter
stuck to the paper
which got there
after he blew his brains out,
and today
after I had written a poem,
I had an insight
into the mind
of Brautigan.
It made me cry.
Brautigan was a poet
who wrote tender, funny,
light poetry
which I always thought
had something
underneath it
which was deep and profound.
I found out
that a poet like Bruatigan
or me
had a deep
despair, anguish, depression,
suffering, and pain
which lay underneath
this light, funny poetry.
When he died,
I bought
as many books by him
as I could find
and laid them
on a table
and lit a candle.

So, I have been hacked
completely,
by somebody
and so I think,
"Well, I don't have
anything in here,
so, who cares?"
and since,
I am always looking
for a bigger audience
to read my stuff,
I think,
"Great, I've got some
wonderful criminal
or something
reading me!"
so I am completely hacked
right down to the source,
so I think,
"Excellent!",
but I might
go get my computer fixed
because the other people
in my little network
probably don't like him,
so, we'll see
maybe I'll just say,
"Honk it!
I'm in love!"

You might
get the idea,
when reading
my poetry,
that I am
some sort
of a dumb guy,
who really doesn't know
about Zen or poetry,
and really isn't very good
with the English language,
or you might
see something different,
some guy behind this stuff,
who really does
know something,
like that he really
shouldn't use the word
really so much,
and who
is sort of a tongue in cheek,
Zen wise-***
and that he actually does know
something about poetry,
and that he uses
the English language
this way
intentionally,
but the real poet's voice
is probably
none of the above,
and then there is
the real kicker,
and that is
that he is
all of the above!

We are all searching
and looking
and leaning
and grasping
for it,
and we don't know
what it is
but we are all
searching and looking
and leaning and grasping
for it,
so I found it,
even if I don't know it,
but it is nothing
and doesn't exist,
but I think
that we all have it,
we all have it
right now,
and we have been looking
for it,
but we just didn't know
that we had it
all along,
so relax
and enjoy it,
we've got it,
so that's all.

So, a big fat poet
who is a friend
of mine,
and who likes
to wax poetically,
came to me
in a dream,
and he said,
"Enough of this simplistic stuff...
give me some complexity...
something modern...
something more like mine"
so I went upstairs
and wrote a poem
about coffee
where I artistically expounded
in great detail and exageration
about the matter of making
coffee,
and when I was done
I thought,
"Eh...it's like my old style...
no wonder I changed"
so, enough
of the Great Bards
who talked
in the accent
of a Grand Thespian
with his voice
like William Shatner,
it's back
to being simple
like me.

I used to do
a little bit
of drugs,
and even though
they didn't wreck me
too bad,
I gave them up,
but I like
to get high,
so I have invented
the imaginary drug experience,
and what you do
is to say the name
of the drug, inside,
as you breathe out,
and then,
holding your nostrils open,
you forcefully inhale, fast,
in other words,
snort,
the air,
and my notion is
that the body/mind
will understand
that you want this drug
and it will produce
an endorphine,
(brain chemical),
which is like a mild form
of that drug,
and then,
you get a little bit high,
but it's awfully subtle,
so you have to be aware,
and there
you have it,
safe dope,
and you can't
get busted.

So there was
vast empty space
in which there was
a small ball
of extremely tight matter
in the space
and it was orange
in color
I think
and all of us
in the universe
were there,
we were part of it,
and it got thinking
about finding what
was out there
in that empty space,
so it blew up
and all of us
went flying off
into that empty space
where we are now
on these planet space things
going out
to see what
is out there
in empty space,
so I guess
that's how it goes.

So the song sings
that we are all innocent,
but I don't think
that's true,
of course
maybe nothing is true,
but I think
that we are all
almost not guilty
by reason of insanity,
the insanity
that goes with being
human,
so I seem to know
that I am almost not guilty
because I know
that since I have a book
of all the sins and crimes
of all the people
who I have perceived
to have hurt me,
that everybody else
has a book
on me,
and I seem to know
that they are probably right
about me,
being an *******
in the past,
just like I think
that so many
in my life
were *******
to me,
so we're almost not guilty
by reason of insanity,
so I'll give us
a suspended sentence.

John Cage
didn't like improvisation,
but he was trying
to get out of his prison
that was caused
by his likes and dislikes,
so, I like improvisation
and I improvise
my life
every day,
so, the time arose
to write a poem
and I thought
that I would improvise,
but improvisation to me
doesn't mean
writing without a thought,
or
writing fast,
or
writing without care,
so,
improvisation is like
what I did in music
at a concert
in a church
a long time ago,
after my band and I
had practiced
for quite awhile,
and once we felt able
to put on a performance,
we did it.

I got into my space exploration vehicle.
(I got into my car)
I took off, and traveled on the intergallactic freeway.
(I drove down the street)
I was going to the lost planet.
(I was off to the drug store)
I took a few lefts at the asteroid belts.
(I turned)
I arrived at the lost planet, and landed safely.
(I parked)
The automatic entry opened.
(You know, those automatic doors)
The communication devices were greeting me.
(TV in drug stores)
I was searching for the mysterioous red and white cannister.
(I was there to buy a Budweiser)
I found it in the back, in a cold place, by the waffle demons.
(It was in the cooler by the ice cream cones)
I took it to the being, and we exchanged paper and metal.
(I paid)
I left, and got back into my spaceship.
(I got into the car)
I flew at light speed and altered my route to avoid the aliens who were also flying.
(I drove at the speed limit, and turned at the stop signs)
I arrived safely at my space station.
(I got home)
Thus has been
another of the continuing adventures
of Michigan Kongsaeng,
the great Nothing.

The old guys
wrote about
the great outdoors
and the beauty of nature,
but, you know,
nature may become
completely inhospitable
sooner than we think,
so I suggest
that we should start
thinking about
the great indoors,
and the beauty of artificiality,
because artificial things
are none other
than nature, transformed,
so maybe
we should go
on adventures
in our own houses
like a modern Thoreau,
who finds the transcendent
in a cup of coffee
or a telephone.

Growing up
in an American house
in the nineteen fifties,
sixties and seventies,
the cheese of choice
was Velveeta,
the processed cheese-type food,
and we cut it
with a cheese slicer,
which was a thing
with a handle
and a wire
and a roller,
and my mother
would make us
grilled cheese sandwiches,
which she called
cheese toastwiches,
and the molten goo
would spill out
unto the plate
as we were eating one,
and this traditional cheese
seemed to start
in the days
of the little red metal pedal car
and end in the days
of being drunk and high
at two in the morning
watching Eddie Constantine movies,
and so the cheese
has changed
and it is now
mozzarella.

So I'm sitting here
in my space
and it really is space,
outer space,
and if I listen to it,
it sounds
like the spaceship
which it is,
and since
I have unplugged
the television
and turned off
the radio,
I can hear
the unusual sounds
of this unearthly, earthly spaceship
humming,
and when I listen closely
I can hear
the hum and high-pitched hiss
of my brain
and nervous system,
as I go traveling outward
into the vastness
of the universe
in this spaceship
called my house
in the suburbs.

I turn on one electric light
usually
to see in the dark
and no electric lights
in the daytime,
because I try
not to waste energy
and natural resources,
because they are precious,
so I recycle
as much as I can
and I take cloth bags
to stores,
and I turn off
and even unplug
almost everything
in the house,
and I use
as little water
as I can,
but, you know,
sometimes
I just say ***** it
to conservation
and throw stuff away,
because it's not good
to get stuck
in some ****
philosophy.

Here's how I think
that life goes -
the first moment
of conception
is like a cycle
of the four seasons,
spring, summer, autumn, winter,
or like the cycle
of the moon,
or like the cycle
of a wave,
attack, sustain, decay, release,
or like the cycle
of the turning earth
in a day,
so this moment
cycles and recycles
and grows and grows
into an entire life,
and I think
the whole universe
operates this way,
of course
I could be wrong.

So there are
heterosexuals
and there are
homosexuals
and there are
bisexuals
and even
metrosexuals,
but I am
unisexual,
so I married myself
quite awhile ago
and me and me
have been having
a wonderful love life
ever since,
so I don't *******
very often,
and I hardly ever
*******,
so what I do
is to visualize ***
with myself,
who is a beautiful woman
inside
and who are four beautiful men
floating around me,
and then there is
this kind of around the world ***
that is a massive kundalinigasm
which is like a trip
to Mars,
so unisexuality
is my *** of choice,
but as you probably have guessed,
it's not for everyone.

When I was a kid,
I was in a group
of other kids,
called Indian Guides,
and it was a bunch
of suburban Dads
with their suburban children,
playing at being
Native Americans,
so I thought
that it was a Mickey Mouse
organization,
but now
that I am sixty years old,
I have gotten back
to playing
Native American,
by playing
authentic musical instruments
in my own way
and singing and dancing
in my own way
and saying a poem
in the early morning
to the Great Spirit,
so I may be
a phony,
but it does something
to me
that is moving
and peaceful.

In grade school
they told me
not to pursue music
because I was
so lousy at it,
so, just to show them,
I proceeded
to study music
for about
a thousand years,
and I came up
with a kind of music
which is so intentionally wrong
that it is perfect,
except not many people
seem to think so,
since I get
about three listens
to each song,
so I'm not exactly
a hit,
if you know
what I mean,
but, you know,
I think
I'm some kind
of genius Mozart
or something,
of course
maybe not.

So it went
like this -
she said,
"My therapist
thinks we
should break up."
and I replied,
"Yeah,
my psychiatrist
says that we
should break up, too."
so soon after,
we broke up.
It was like
Woody Allen
and Diane Keaton.
I didn't know
that such comedies
could actually
be real.
The way
that it appears
in my memory
is something
that isn't exactly real.
That's life!
(I think...).

I have been sailing
through the somewhat dangerous
sea of life,
seeking the new world
where there
is peace, love, happiness, wisdom, and compassion.
I sought it inside
the mind and body.
So, I found crazy mantras
and incomprehensible chants
and ways to sit
that once broke my ankle,
and a practice
of quieting the mind
that nearly killed me.
So this morning,
on Christopher Columbus Day,
I found
the true mantra
for me
and the true chant
for me,
the true words
which will bring
love, peace, happiness, wisdom and compassion,
and they are
love, peace, happiness, wisdom and compassion.
So now
I have found
my new world.
Happy Christopher Everson Day!

In my sleep
last night,
someone was talking
to me,
I think,
so I woke up
with knowledge
about the right way
to wake up,
and it's so simple
that an idiot knows it,
but the world
and all the Great Religions
don't teach it,
so here it is -
wake up gradually.
Duh.
So I opened my eyes
and got out of bed
and sat for awhile
then moved slowly
for awhile
and then sped it up
a little at a time
until I was moving
at everyday life speed.
Duh.
That is the right way to wake up.
Now we're cookin'!

So, long ago
we had the Renaissance Period,
and then there was
the Baroque Period,
and then there was
the Classical Period,
and then there was
the Romantic Period,
and then we got to
the Twentieth Century,
and we called it modern
and we called it contemporary
but we can't use
those words anymore,
so I say
we call it
the Weird-*** Period,
where every artist,
musician, playwright,
composer, poet,
and so on,
were doing weird-****.
I love this period.
So, in the sixties or so
we had the killing
of music
by John Cage
in his silent piece,
and the death
of painting
in the blank canvas,
and there must have been
a blank piece of paper
that was a poem,
and then
we had the rebirth
of art
in the work
of the minimalists,
and of course,
don't forget
the conceptual artist
who had himself shot,
so now,
we are well into
the Twenty-First Century,
so it must be
the Post Weird-*** Period,
but maybe
we should call it
the Bizarro Period,
or something like that.

So I broke my nose
in high school,
and I didn't get it
fixed,
so that meant
that the air
through my nose
only went
to the left side
of my head,
and that meant
that the chi energized
my left brain,
but my right brain
was completely unenergized,
so in my travels
of learning,
I found out about
a brain balancer
which is
to put my index fingers
of both my hands
gently
right in front of
my two earlobes
and then
meditate,
breathing through
the mouth,
instead of the nose,
and I push,
gently,
on the exhale,
and I have
a great mantra
which I sing inside
as a little song,
and the first time
that I tried it,
the whole brain
opened up,
and I felt
much better.

So the Bodhisattva said
"Emptiness is none other than form,
form is none other than emptiness"
and I have perceived
this emptiness
through years of Yoga and Zen
but the real understanding
which I have gained
about what emptiness is
and how to perceive it
can be done
in a blink,
because the greatest expression
of emptiness
is to look
at what is in front of you
at this very moment,
because at that point
the emptiness of it
is so empty
that is doesn't exist,
this space between atoms
is so empty
that you can't even perceive it,
so there,
you are now
an enlightened Buddha
with a knowledge
and perception
of the Awesome Emptiness
Of Everything.
Congratulations!

So I sit
in a chair
and sing quietly
a dharani
(spiritual song)
inside
myself
and tap my thumbs
against my index fingers
to the rhythm
and move my toes
up and down
to the rhythm
and breathe in
and breathe out
to the rhythm
and open my eyes
and close my eyes
to the rhythm
and close my mouth
when I breathe in
and open my mouth
when I breathe out
to the rhythm
and put my tongue
behind my front teeth
when I breathe in
and put my tongue
behind my lower teeth
when I breathe out
and gradually
slow it down
and I know
that it's difficult
but give it a try
and see what you think.

So here's the story -
Jesus will come down
from the sky
in a space ship
and **** all of us
with his magic
energy blasting *****
and we will all have
such an enormous ******
that we will all have
a delicious heart attack
and then
in clouds with lotus blossoms
we will float up
into the sky, laughing,
and wind up
in paradise
where God
will have shaved
off his big beard
and come out
from behind
the judicial bench
and just shoot the ****
with us all
and we will write poetry
and eat grapes
and paint and sing
for eternity
or at least
for a long time.

I was in my chair
outside, on the patio,
when I thought
I would have ***
with my lover Earth,
so remembering
Kurt Vonnegut's
interesting kind of ***
where the two lovers
put their feet together,
I put my feet
on my lover's feet,
and Bam
what a feeling!
so she suggested
that I go eat some dirt
as a kind of communion,
so I watered my **** garden
remembering
that the Earth laughs
in weeds,
and watered the other garden
remembering
that the Earth is dirt,
so I ate
a little pinch
of dirt,
and then she told me,
"Don't worry
about the men
who frack me
and **** me,
I love them
and will give you all
everything,
because there's always more
where that came from."

Siaba trito
lost the ****** woman
who sat on his apple
with her face resister
that sought another person
to write with pajamas
on his purple sweater
that had no points
instead of purpose
to drive a monkey
where deer ride tractors
in heaven's wonder.

I had an enlightenment
today
about life
that I want
to share with you,
and I felt like
I got a good answer,
so here it is -
life is walking
in circles
over and over
day and night
and most people
get tired of it
and sick of it,
but I decided
that walking in circles
is great!
and that it's nothing
and that it's a piece of cake,
and I even thought
that I can walk
in circles
for eternity
because it really is fun
and I love it,
so that was my enlightenment
and I hope you like it
as much as I did.

My life
has been all about
thoughts fighting
with thoughts
about thinking,
about to think
or not to think,
and it was an interesting
war
but stupid
and I learned a lot
about nothing
and it was extremely painful.
This war
was started
by who knows who
for no reason.
I have decided,
along with the Dalai Lama,
that what is needed
is a dialogue,
so mind has been talking
to mind
about what the reality
of this is.
We have decided
that the reality
of this is
a headache,
which could,
in time,
get better.

So at the bookstore
I talked to people
and realized later
that they were all there
for me
and that I was there
for them
and it filled me
with a great mind liberation
and a great love
so then
I realized
that everyone
is here for me
and that I am here
for everyone
who is here
and that's everyone
so I also realized
that evil people
are here
to test me
and that people
who just pass through
are here for me
and that people
who try to sell me stuff
are here for me,
so this
is my Sangha,
my family,
the one's I care about -
us.

So, I clear
the mind
with an oh and an ah
with my breath,
and then wait
briefly
for some thoughts
to rise up,
and then there
is the new way,
but the Buddha
wants me
to go homeless
and sit under
a tree,
so I don't exactly
follow him,
and my internal girlfriend
thinks I should have
a beer,
but I don't think so,
and then,
on the patio,
I raise up my arms
and then
put them back down.

I woke up today,
realizing
that if I hadn't
gone to psychiatrists,
and studied religion,
and worked hard
for many years
at Zen,
that I probably
would have been
one of those guys
who gets a gun
and shoots a lot of people
and then turns it
on himself
and blows his brains out,
because I think
that I have lived
a hundred lifetimes
before this one
as a victim of torture
and therefore
was pushed to the limit,
but instead of becoming
a suicidal ******-murderer,
I became
some sort of
love, peace and happiness
Bodhisattva,
so instead of criticizing Zen
and psychiatry,
like I usually do,
I'm praising them.