There is this thing
called losing your mind
that everybody
seems to want to do
and there is this thing
called losing your mind
that nobody
seems to want to do.

He asked me,
"Who is in control
of your smoking?
You or your cigarettes?"
and I thought
that both of us were,
that it is a mutual habit,
that I know
when I am smoking
and when I am about
to light one,
but cigarettes
have this way
of talking you into it,
or is it the mind?

It's a good idea
to make up
your own religion,
but be careful
that you are qualified
by studying
the ones that are
already here,
and it's a good idea
to make up
your own idea
of God or Buddha
or the Universe
or Life
or whatever you love
to love,
so it's a good idea
to reject
whatever jails you
and accept
whatever frees you,
but freedom
has two faces
and one is reckless
and one is serene,
and maybe many more qualities
but not the kind of madness
with invisible shackles
that so many of us have.

They say
that a beginner
has many options,
but an expert
has one or none,
so I joined
a new website
where there
are thousands
of great photographers,
so, inspired by them
I decided
to enroll in Buddha's self-help school
of beginning photography,
and actually
I have never liked
photography as an art form,
until I began studying
and now I am obsessed
by the actions
of my little Kodak
that gives me
such amazing
bad photography.

The poetry editors said
"No vocabulary - No poetry"
so I thought
"Great! I won't use any big words!"
and the poetry editors said
"Don't write poetry that is like a thesis"
so I thought
"Great! I'll write my philosophy!"
and they said
"We only want poetry with beautiful imagery"
so I thought
"Great! I won't write any flowery word pictures!"
and they said
"Be patient with your poetry and don't rush it"
so I thought
"Great! I'll be spontaneous and not edit anything!"
and they said
"Don't write anecdotal poetry"
so I thought
"Great! I'll write little story poems!"
and they said
"No spelling mistakes"
so I thought
"Great! I'll intentionally misspel"
and they said
"Don't write about your ordinary, mundane life"
so I thought
"Great! I'll write about my ordinary, mundane life!"
and they said
"No cliches"
so I thought
"Great! I'd love to use old tired worn-out cliches!"
and they said
"Don't be redundant"
so I thought
"Great!"
and then the Buddhist nuns suggested
that I write formlessly,
so I tried every form
I could think of,
and then the Zen master suggested
that I just write my thoughts,
so that's what I do,
although this is not exactly
how my thoughts go,
so that's how I learned to write poetry
in my personal school
of self-help stupidity!

So they sang
that we paved paradise
and put up a parking lot
but did we really like
living in paradise
with its snakes and bugs
and wild man-eating animals
so instead we have
beautiful Taco Bells
and strip malls
so we should save them
from being turned into trees
and moss
because I am an environmentalist
who thinks that nature should save us
not the other way around
and indoor nature
is to me somewhat preferable
to being outside
in the cold.

So I got
colored light bulbs
for Christmas
and now I am having
interesting lighting
in my subterranean studio
where I do art
and have private parties
so with the radio
on nothing but static
and yellow, blue and red lights
in the darkness
I drink a shot
and go the the pink room
where I *******
until one second to D-Day.