They seem to me
to have to live
in a public nightmare
of being known
even though nobody knows
and it seems to me
to be a surrealistic hell
of flashing lights
and strangers
who know everything
without knowing anything
and people want
a piece of them
and people even
take potshots at them
so us little people
should probably be happy
that we're not famous.

When I was a kid
the news of a cold war
was everywhere
and they were going
to bury us
so every time
an airplane flew over
or a test plane
made a sonic boom
I thought it was
the end
and then the presidents
got into an argument
over missiles
and everybody thought
it would be
the end
but one backed down
and the bombs
weren't dropped.

Being angry
inside
is a good thing
because it makes me
feisty and awake
and being broken
sitting in a chair
with a blanket
around me
is a good thing
because a change
for the better
always seems to follow
and having a bad day
when I don't feel like doing anything
is a good thing
because it always seems
to lead to a better place
so these events
are like the next to last chords
of a cadence
which are more dissonant
and which lead home
and sleeplessness
is a good thing
because we are awake.

I was in
a bar
a few years ago,
talking to a man
and a woman,
and the woman said
that the man made
fancy, expensive pens,
so I said that I had
a woody
and they both laughed loudly,
so I said that really
I had a pen called a woody
and they said that
a woody is another word
for *******
and I said oh
and the woman looked down
at my crotch.

I was thinking this morning
and it gave me a problem
so after many attempts
at right thinking
I came up
with the non-dual dharma of
neither thinking nor not thinking
and that seemed to help
but I know
that there is no dharma
of enlightenment
so that doesn't help
the thinking problem
or does it?

Miles Davis was cool
and sort of invented the word
so when I was young
we all said this word
and I found out
that the next generation
says this word too
so I was angry today
because I thought
I was pathetic
when it dawned on me
that I was a cool guy
just like all my old friends
were cool guys and girls
so I thought about it
and decided that everybody
in my life
was pretty cool
so I thought
"I don't know if everybody
has the Buddha nature
like they say,
but I do know
that everybody
has the cool nature
to some degree"
so I felt better.

I have, on my computer,
two sound generating devices
which I meditate on
for healing reasons
and I am on
a Dharma network
which has photographs
of Yantras, which are those
geometrical designs
that I meditate on
for healing reasons
and I don't know
if I am healed by these things
or not
but it sure is a trip!