I forgive
the woman
that I married
before my parents
were born
who stabbed me
many times
as I lay in bed
killing me
and I forgive
the soldier
who pounded
my underarms
with the ****
of his rifle
and I forgive
the US government
for forcing me
into suicide
by blowing
my brains out
with a gun
pointed between
my eyes
and I forgive
myself
for doing it
and I forgive
myself
for stealing
from my parents,
stores and a school,
and I forgive
myself
for that strange
*** act
with a dog
and I forgive
my friend
for saying
that I had
a small *****
and I forgive
my family
for going crazy.
I forgive myself
for killing holy men.

There's a ghost
in this house
who is a woman
that is ugly
with claws for fingernails.
I think I brought her here
by accident
after thinking about
a past life.
She killed me
a long time ago
so she went
to hell
and now must
reside on Earth
before she can
find peace.
I don't mind ghosts
I think they're OK
but she freaks out
everybody else.
So I'll just wish her
Happy New Year
on this rainy night
and hope for the best.

I drank a cup of green tea
and immediately got sick
with the depression
from my new-found allergy
to green tea
which is supposed to be good
but to me possibly
is poison
so I had some cigarettes
and felt much better.

A pleasant conversation
with my woman friend
with occasional angry outbursts
from the Buddha who says no
with music always playing
and an old feeling
in the forehead
which I have grown to love
are all aspects
of the conscious mind
with an enormous silence
in the rest of it
that guides me
by not saying anything.

The toy piano
is played twice
once on the right
and once on the left.
The toy harp
is played twice
once on the left
and once on the right.
This music
ends badly
but brings me
joy.
It is silent now
except for the beautiful humming.

So, lighting up a cigarette
I expound on a blinking eye
that goes on and off
like this computer
and everything.

So, the last happy smoker
takes another puff
from his incense
that is considered weaponry
by many
and delights in the defiling
and healing power of smoke.

The in-breath is creation
and the out-breath is destruction
and so it goes like a blinking eye
in a circle
like a kid building something
and then wrecking it
and it's not vicious
it's just a circle
like the seasons
so don't get upset
with nature.