i have long since desired to "be somebody", for i already am.

sometimes confidence escapes me, as if it were carbon dioxide.

positive prompting enforced by words from a friend down the street, or across the country may be what keeps us all going
when the coldness of doubt creates hesitant characteristics.

as i get lost in thoughts, i want to guarantee that i am not alone.

but a guarantee might just be an unfulfilling word in this false advertising world.

an outside perspective is often necessary, even when isolation can give the impression of trumping solidarity.

After all my decisions are the one and only true responsibility

learning to have have faith, and performing my actions with assertive behavior is indeed something i need to work on.

as i look around at what does surround
i have the urge to create a beauty that only lives without.
but what is on the exterior may be inferior, often ostensible;
a courage concealing doubt.
i am my own confidant, even when i am not confident.
but my choices are mine alone, only my thoughts are ones that i condone.
so with these choices i shall exclaim:
i am
but not
the one i shall blame.

Lies hurt more than the truth ever will.
Deceit a sharp blade, leaving only blood to spill.
Trust sought out in a world full of false advertising.
Walls will be built, watch towers constantly analyzing.
And we have only ourselves to blame,
For it is only our own words that we can tame.
The choice is yours not to lie,
For later regret will be your only outcry.
Build trust instead of walls
For lies are the ongoing waterfalls;
They are hard to cease when all your know is deceit.
Be proud in your honesty,
Even when you think it may hurt another, for
Lies hurt more than the truth ever will.

Which is the path you have chosen,  
Which is the path that have paved?
Have your actions been wise and potent,
Or is the issue that your not one willing to be saved?
All questions, often with no definite answer.
Even written stone can become withered and break.
Promises can be as deadly as cancer.
My words are all that i can give,
but not all that you can take.

roll the dice;
gamble your life away
don't think twice
about what you have to say--

i'm am just the voice
that flows through each telephone wire
i must admit, it was my choice
that i made, but it was you
who chose that it was me
that you desire

so i inhale the the nicotine
there is a quixotical wave
that overwhelms my being
the thought that i am not one
that you can save
delights me so


but now the cellular device
is blowing up
but it would be nice
if they would take a sip
from the devils cup
drink it down;
sell your soul
make your dreams shatter
go towards the hellish town
break the pieces--
they were never whole
it doesn't matter
when there is an empty bowl

so i have chosen
to be ignorant
and my heart has become frozen--
i am hell sent
rising from the ashes,
that turn quick to flame
i have endured the lashes
but i am yet to be tame

my words to you may just be a small stone in a world full of mountains.
however these words are all I own--
and sometimes rivers start out with small earthly fountains.

we don't realize the bird's beautiful song is sung for us
telling of a story that is so brutally truthful
that it almost resembles glory
their gratious tune fills the world where there is silence
giving mother earth a song to dance to
as it constantly stays in it's orbit so effortlessly
the sun shines down & all i want to do is absorb all the beauty that surronds me
but my mind continues to drown my heart & soul
with sorrow and an uncurable apathy

i crave knowledge so i learn as much as i can
but not by reading things like the encyclopedia or the dictionary
for true knowledge grows in the trees
and in each blade of grass
too often our man made weapons and machines
**** our only source of intelligance with technology
however, we musn't forget even our feet trample upon the earths diminishing beauty
so with each ray of the powerful sun
i learn the importance of why not to run;

we must face our own fears and problems
before we ourselves can learn to grow
& all i strive to be: is as pure as the snow
so i will jump into the river
when the ice is just begining to melt
because the coldness lets me understand
all the past pain that i have felt
but while i lay in my own garden of eden
a snake slithers to my side
already i know if i try to run, i will not be able to ever hide

for this very serpent has created a home in my heart
without my knowledge of it's doing so
& yet i still cannot repent
leaving my sorrows to continuously grow
i look around to only notice i am laying in a bed of weeds that are unkind
while my enemy plants his evil seeds into my fragile mind
and when i finally realize i am doing his deeds
my eyes can finally see his scales have me in a bind

i see the beauty in his tongue that can only speak of hate
than i suddenly i feel his sharp teeth sink into my soul
that results in my tragic fate
i begin to tell myself i never want to leave my youth
for i don't mind being ignorant, naive, and oblivious
and that simply is the truth