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kirk Nov 2017
I do not enjoy New Years Day well what a ******* bore
Its meant to be a brand new start but I am not so sure
A beginning of another year its still the same old tour
Everything is​ the same you know what is in store
It is just another day there isn't nothing more
No difference from the previous year same as the one before

Valentine's day is for lovers at least that's what is said
But maybe its for people who want you in thier bed
Sending cards with the intent and they say romance is dead
I don't mean to sound a rotter but its all in your head
it usually ends up in tears so be careful where you tread
Dreams and hopes are always dashed so **** those roses red

Easter is a ******* joke it's never the same day
How can it be historical when its always been this way?
What's good about good Friday when the people had their say
If there was a crucifixion then wasn't it fare play
If he died for our sins it's satanic keeping death at bay
And then being resurrected without the need to pray

What's the point in Halloween with all those ghosts and ghouls
If your not going to dress appropriately then why dress up as fools
Don't bother even dressing up if your breaking ghoulish rules
And going out into the night looking like a bunch if tools
I don't want people begging at my door trying to get my jewels
So say no to trick or treat and lit lantern pumpkin pools

Bonfire night don't make much sense when its a none event
Why celebrate the gunpowder plot or a destroyed parliament
Guy Fawkes had it all planned out and he never made a dent
Bonfires had nothing to do with the death of this high treason gent
So stick penny for the guy and don't you spend a cent
Bonfires and fireworks should be banned and nothing should be spent

Santa does not come down the chimney on Christmas Eve
Cos he is such a fat ******* if that's what you believe?
One night isn't long enough parents do all the heave
There's no magical deliveries Its just a web they weave
There are no flying Raindeer so don't be so naive
Presents don't come from Santa Claus please kids don't you grieve

Christmas day's commercialised which everybody knows
With all of the toy advertisements in between the shows
Christmas carols in the shops months before the Christmas woes
The toy expense the start of the ***** is when the pressure flows
We don't want ****** fairy lights when the bulb always blows
Bah humbug to the turkey and **** the Christmas snows

it's a waste of time singing the new year's eve goodbye
Old acquaintances should not be forgotten it makes me want to cry
What's the point in celebrations when there is no realistic high
False people you don't ******* know they are no longer shy
Wishing you a happy new year why do they even try?
Why do we sing Auld Lang Syne they don't care if you live or die?
  
Everything in the calender there all of my pet hates
This is what happens when its left up to the fates
Why do we have all this crap, there are no real good traits
All of it is designed for interaction and socialistic baits
Come on you Gregorians your not making any mates
Don't let all this flood out please close the ******* gates
They say that all good things comes to he who waits
But I don't know if I really want all of these crap dates
kirk Oct 2017
My Dad Bert I love you so
Please stay with me please don't go
I need you there it may not show
Without you here there is no glow
I need your heart I hope you know
My feelings are from deep below

My Dad Bert you are so kind
A nicer man you'll never find
If I'm upset please don't mind
it's hard to cope without the bined
Sometimes life is such a grind
With our loved ones left behind

I Want you here I love your smile
I need you for a longer while
Your in my mind a life long file
I always remember your profile
I can't imagine your hard mile
My Dad Bert you are worthwhile
For a friend's Dad
kirk Oct 2017
There's nothing more upsetting,
when our loved ones get too frail
You've been with them through their life,
sharing their long trail
We usually feel quite helpless,
seeing their health begin to fail
And can't do much but to observe,
the hurt beneath the vail

It hurts us both to go through,
even if their the one that's pail
Seeing the struggle they have,
and knowing they can't bail
Witnessing the pain their in,
and falling from the rail
It really is quite a scare,
when it's on a massive scale

We try to hold back the tears,
but we really want to wail
Their health is locked away,
in an unhealthy jail
To see them slowing down,
like a crippled snail
It's like they're trying to function,
inside a high force gail

It is so upsetting when their,
struggling to inhale
If only solutions were easy
like receiving daily mail
I really wish I could help,
health is nothing I can nail
If only they were healthier,
that would be my holy grail
kirk Oct 2017
Who is in charge of broadcasting who's in charge of the TV?
Is it an escaped mental patient or a convicted escapee?
Where sick of recycled programs where sick of reality
Your ripping of the public for your own personal payee
We're still paying for repeats these programs should be free
Why the **** are we still paying for the TV license fee?
Stop showing the same programs and hear the publics plea
It is just an insult to our arses sat on our settee
The people who are in charge their all just a wannabe
Commissioning old programs from all the left over debris
You may support your schedules I really don't agree
Cos all that we get are repeats from Dave to ITV

The stations are atrocious the programs are mundane
No more reality or repeats please would you refrain
Stop with all the same shows stop showing them again
A thousand times we've seen them its driving us insane
Consider scrapping most shows throw them down the drain
And spare the paying public from constant program strain
We don't want no more game shows I hope I'm being plain
Too much focussed on reality your making these the main
Stop conning all your viewers and causing so much pain
With in show competitions for your own financial gain
And ****** TV voting the contestants are too vain
All of the public phone calls are nothing but a stain

We don't want to turn to boredom with all of those Big Brothers
Not interested in One Born Every Minuet or expectant mothers
Kitchen Nightmares and Hell's Kitchen Gordon Ramsey's foul mouth smothers
The Great British Bake Off and Masterchef the same as all the others
Pawn Stars was misleading it had no *** or scrubbers
Don't want people on Love Island selecting different lovers

Who cares about the rounded lives of bearded Mountain Men?
No interest in crap inventions or rich Dragons in the Den
Wife Swap and ******* Pawn nothing to do with ***** hoes
Loose Women and 4 in a Bed I was expecting different shows?
The Wright Stuff with Mathew Wright well really its just wrong
The same as This Morning and Lorraine they've been on far too long
Apparently your a fat ******* if You Are What You Eat
If I want to see Nightmare Neighbours I'll look out on the street
Make your ******* mind up and Say Yes To The Dress
Stop buying so much food so you can Eat Well For Less
Hoarders houses are not wanted, don't show us the inside
Is it really such a secret if you Don't Tell The Bride?

How To Look Good Naked what kind of purv is Gok Wan?
Ogling middle aged naked ladies well. . . just because he can!
*** Pod may have been good but we never saw a thing
What's the point in a *** program without the ****** zing?
Lord Sugar fire's Apprentices he doesn't make much sense
When contestants are not hired yet there is no real suspense
People risking their own lives driving Ice Road Truckers
I've really got no sympathy for those stupid mother *******
Pierce Morgan talked Life Stories why is he such a *****?
Or is he just an arrogant ****** you can take your pick
The Crocodile Hunter Steve Erwin his fate was a stingray
If he'd been a bit more careful he'd still be here today
We where shown full frontal nakedness in Naked Attraction
It could have had more potential with it bit more interaction
The Only Way Is Essex well that simply is not true
If I don't want to go to Essex then what will they do?
There was never any Cash In The Attic if this was the case
There would be no need to sell their things in the first place
Who do You Think You Are I'm surprised there on this show
What kind of mindless people are they if they don't ******* know
I don't want crap singers on the X Factor or hear The Voice
Sod those ****** Pop Stars your not giving us much choice

If celebrities wanted to get out of the jungle then why even appear?
Is it because they are not main stream and its good for their career?
Its a boost for run down minor celebs, well what the heck
Instead of voting them off cant we vote off Ant and Dec?

Judge Judy and Judge Rinder are basically the same
Just a rehash of the Peoples Court isn't  that quite lame
Stop using the same format for shows that you can tame
I suppose that's all we'll ever get stop playing the same game

Top Gear and Fifth Gear are almost the Same Wheel
Say no to the House Doctor her designs are too unreal
get rid of The Hotel Inspector and Dickinson's Real Deal
We don't want Dancing On Ice there is no real appeal

Why Escape To The Country where they prisoners before?
The Kardashians and Osborne's we don't want them anymore
Strictly Come Dancing we're sick of that dance floor
Don't want to see Grand Designs there no good if your poor
Cant Pay Well Take It Away what are we paying for?
It's the same as paying the licence fee it's nothing to adore

Sixty Minuet Makeover it's enough to make you weep
Impossible to achieved do you think we're mindless sheep?
Homes Under The Hammer, it's not what I would keep
Antiques Trip and Road Show will send you right to sleep
A large percentage that are made are made on the cheep
But I've noticed that the licence fee is still so ******* steep

There are to many senseless channels with program limitations
What happened to the good shows the ones with good creations
Better programs years ago when we only had five stations
It's only my own opinion and own personal observations
Maybe it was a time when producers took their medications
When writers admired their work and had more dedications
More devotion for the programs, no love for abominations
So re-evaluate your programming and stop these infestations
kirk Oct 2017
What the hell has happened to the adverts on our TV screens?
When Our teeth shined with Sensodine, Colgate and Mccleans
Kinder made surprising eggs and Heinz Meanz tinned Baked Beans
Fairy Liquid lasted longer, houses cleaned with Mr Sheens
Daz Automatic, Surf and Ariel washed clothes in our machines
Which brings me to that buff hunky guy washing Levi jeans

Winalot and Pedagree where good food for our dogs
Robinson's Jam old icon was mascot Golly wogs
Fudge fingers where just enough to give our kids a treat
Not even a Black Hole could eat three Shredded Wheat
Gillette was the best shave, that a man could get
Happiness was achieved, with a cigar called Hamlet
Surfing was the mark of a man, the fragrance of Old Spice
Brut had an unbeatable smell even Henry Cooper smelt quite nice
You know when where Tangoed when your slapped in the chop
Magic begun when we heard the fun of Snap Crackle and Pop
"Hey I'd love a Babycham" in that cool smooth cocktail pub
Biscuits had a lot of chocolate when you joined their Club
The Honey Monster told his mummy to tell us about the Honey
Taking it easy with a Caramel from that **** Cadburys Bunny
Leonard Rossiter and Joan Collins had Cinzano on a plane
The secret lemonade drinker sneaked downstairs for R Whites again
If you know what's good for you, you would eat Weetabix
Chimpanzees did all kinds things for the taste of PG tips
Turkish Delight had eastern promise her hair he had to stroke
You where in love for the very first time when you drank a Coke
If you had a Mars a day we where helped to work, rest and play
A secret agent risked everything because the lady loved Milk Tray

The quest of a silent messenger in case you had forgot
Seeking for the timeless taste of the larger of Lamot
Carling had the three in one with the cowboy in the west
From love songs to soap powder Black Label was the best
Searching for Fly Fishing  J R Hartley got downhearted
Good old Yellow Pages is where he should have started
Garath Hunt had Nescafe he shook the coffee bean
With Una Stubbs and Sarah Green and even Diane Keen
The cute Kid with the glasses he was strong and tough
The Milky Bars are on him, the best where good enough

What do we get on our screens in our modern time
All of the ads are terrible their broadcast is a crime
All you are providing is the same old ******* grime
Ramming the same thing down our throat like an hourly chime
Its the same as TV programming there's nothing that is prime
With all the cheap reality shows there boring and just slime

What is it with the crap Go Compare to many in this set
The PPI's and Clear Score there all a public social threat
Too many online Bingo sites it seems they took all they could get
All these loans and gambling its no wonder people are in debt

Cillit Bang it sounded good when used by Barry Scott
Boy that stuff can't really work cos he had a ****** lot
I don't think it was all that good and not so very hot
If its in the cheep shop I may give it a small shot

The Gtech cordless vacuum it simply has no class
With its 40 minuet run time I think id rather pass
It doesn't seem that powerful I know this may seem harsh
Break free from the Gtech Air Ram and ram it up your ****

And all those crap insurance ads I really do despair
Especially that ******* opera singer singing Go Compare
With his stupid ****** false moustache, Tuxedo and black hair
Get rid of this obnoxious guy and nobody cares where

All those ****** ******* adverts they have on nowadays
nothing like the larger ads or the man with the milk trays.
all you get is insurance ads none of which that pays
or loans that you don't ******* want or any of their strays

Get rid of all these ****** ads put them on the shelf
I don't mean to appear arrogant, I could do better myself
Stop melting our minds, we cant shield our minds in stealth
To many poor folks sat at home with messed up mental health
All you execs make millions your only interested in wealth
And reinstate some proper ads stop thinking of yourself

So bring back all the old ads they where more amusing
Inventive and informative more things for the choosing
Not like they are today all boring, some confusing
Monotonous and self obsessed you only end up snoozing
Always going with the flow with all the same ads cruising
Come on all you ad execs its the public that your losing
kirk Oct 2017
The world is full of misery with all our failed relations
Mixed feelings and emotions in my mind's hallucinations
The love of a derailed heart in clouded stipulations
When two lover's are forced apart, alone in different station's
Don't succumb to the seven year itch or feelings of flirtatious
Illicit thoughts invade your mind with paranoid creations
Loving seems to turn to hate with harsh eliminations
There is a sense of numbness without any good sensations
The depths of beauty are denied without any realisations  
lover's heart's are always lost in hopeless situations
The misery of loneliness gets worse with desperations  
Maybe it's because we have too many expectations

Life's to short for broken heart's waiting to be mended
Especially when your lover's gone and your heart is blended
It doesn't have to be this way or completely ended
Stop wasting time for love that's lost this can be amended
A limbo living state of mind is not really recommended
Being with the one you love should always be defended
Soul mate's that are separated can never be contented
Because their heart's are aching and love is not attended
A heart sent gift with feelings there's no need to be offended
It's the way I've always been a characteristic I have tended
Everything can work out fine our life and love extended
If you really want them too then this will be commended

There is no need to be unhappy all you need are chances
A lover's dream can come true not just distant glances
All you need is faith of the heart within your own expanses
Don't lose the love that you once had in falling avalanches
Losing a friend and lover, your feelings are in trances
The bleeding of a broken heart seeping through snapped branches
If your lover's left you, there is no more advances
The grass is not that greener it's only different dances
Maybe your the loser, lost looks are not young stances
True love's supposed to conquer all I'm not sure if it enhances
Kindness is forgotten and the good time's fled in prances
And people will always suffer from all life's failed romances
kirk Sep 2017
The future is not bright at all it's an abysmal place
It's a world full of the dead, the dying human race
where everything you care about all falling far from grace
And the ashes of all past events are burning without trace
There's nothing in your future there is no silk or lace
Full of demonic forces wearing future's disguised face
A demon lay in waiting to beat you with it's mace
The future is time's henchmen there's nothing to embrace

If you think about the future it's something that It's not
Your future is ahead of you, that's not what you have got
Your life is getting shorter and it's over in a shot
Your own death is there waiting, the end is future's plot
You can't outrun the future, It'll block you in a clot
Waiting for your last moments, the future's where you'll rot
The outlook of the future is not really all that hot
I'm afraid your goose is cooked in future's cooking ***

So be very careful and don't believe your eye's
Don't ever trust the future it's based on pretentious lies
The future will just ****** you before your next sunrise
And you'll be lost in history it should come as no surprise
Heading towards the future that's something to despise
Because everything diminishes it does not compromise
As you reach your own end, there isn't any highs
Don't you know that Death is just the future in disguise

The future it destroys your past the moment you are born
It doesn't care how young you are or if your old and worn
Or if your laying in your bed or sitting on a lawn
The future rips your time away your life's blood will be torn
Your whole past will be destroyed, that is future's scorn
a very nasty piece of work with celestial strength and brawn
It is unavoidable it's the place you will be drawn
Future's end is waiting, it is your future's dawn

I know that I'll be future's pray, I really do despair
Knowing that eventually I will end up in future's lair
But unfortunately for every race it's something we all share
We all end up in the same place ascending future's stair
Future's revenge on humanity, we all sit in future's chair
No point trying to survive the occasion is not rare
It makes me go out of my mind it's something I can't bare
plagued with devastation because the future doesn't care

The future kills the past it's what the future is creating
The death of all humanity is all within it's making
There is no point just sitting there and anticipating
All the future wants to do is cold blood eliminating
The future is sadistic it's you that it is baiting
It strikes its fear into all things and everything relating
You can not get away from the end even with migrating
After all your end will come where future's end is waiting
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