Being a Tampax might be fun stuffed up a **** all day
It may not be that creamy but a bit of reds okay
If you're on your monthly you haven't got much say
At least you wouldn't have someone's ***** getting in the way

White and fluffy I would be soft upon my *******
I would start expanding when you begin your *******
Forcing me to press on your sides much to your frustration.
Because you would be on the blob causing my inflation.

You would probably be upset with that ****** infestation
It may not be much fun for you, the lack of stimulation
If your *****'s full of jam there could be a consolation
Strawberry juice is soaking up not much chance of impregnation

Maybe you could see things from the tampons point of view
It's the only time they get chance to have a **** good *****.
They can't wait to fly of the shelves and go inside of you.
Hurry up that time of month you know what you must do.

But there's definitely a downside to being a jam rag
Even though you'd be up a **** longer than a ****
Like the red and white menstrual show, or a red tipped ***
You'd get too wet and taken out, a used up ***** gag
Mid period you'd get replaced that is the biggest snag
You would smell and get thrown away in a sanitary bag

Juicy goosey gander where shall my hands wander?
up skirts and down shirts and in a ladies chamber.
Many a fair maiden nakedness they'd ponder.
Some with dark ***** hair, some where light and blonder.
Men that they have taken some weak and some much stronger.
And young and agile ridged men those ones would last much longer.

There I saw some old men waiting for their shares
Pulling on their plonkers in their *** strained flairs.
Looking at the naked maidens sitting in their chairs.
Some of them flat chested and some with quite nice pairs.
Some young and beautiful and some of them old mares.
I'm sure that you'd get lucky by showing them your wares.
You can be the chosen one If you can say your prayers
and they'll take you by the middle leg and pull you up the stairs.

Hush you ******* your just a ****.
Mama's going to bring you a big fat bird.

And If that big fat bird is a hag.
Mama's going give you her ring to ****.

And if that tight rings nice to ****
Mama's going to give you her **** to ****

And if those ******* start to choke
Mama's going to give you her **** to stroke.

And if that hot **** is bald as brass
Mama's going to let you lick her ****.

And if that pert **** gets to wet
Mama's going ******* and make you sweat.

And if you *** and sweat to much.
Mama's going to let you sniff her crotch.

And if that warm crouch is to full.
Mama's going get your **** to pull.

And if that **** pull makes you smile.
Mama's going to **** it *******.

And if ******* is so good
Mama's going **** on your manhood.

And if your manhood should go down
Your still the Dirtiest ****** in this town

So hush you ******* don't you cry.
I can always get that fat bird for you to try

Old king Cole was an unpleasant soul.
And a ******* ******* was he.
He fiddled with his pipe until it was ripe.
And he went on a fiddling spree.

Receiving a left hook, when he fiddled with the cook,
she said "your not getting it from me".
wanting to get laid, he tried it with the maid,
in his ******* she did knee.

No cash for a *****, showing him the door,
because he wanted it for free.
Down on his luck, cos He couldn't get a ****,
so he ****** the trunk of a tree.

Old king Cole was a miserable old sole
who ****** an Infested tree.
Dutch Elm Diseased ****, Well what a ******* *****.
so a poxy ****** he will always be.

Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet up her *** hole all day.
Along came a spider, put two legs inside her.
Because he wanted a roll in the hay.
Little miss muffet, told the spider to **** it and to have his wicked way.
She spread her legs wide with a matter of pride.
And the spider had a ******* good lay

Jack and Jill went up the hill to release Jack's ***** water.
Jack went down, under Jill's gown and Jill came not long after.

Up jack got and home he trot, Jill screaming he had ***** her.
sat on his bed,  tears he did shed.
wiping his **** on kitchen paper

Jack sat weeping and upset with his spirit broken
And as Jack cried, because Jill had lied
The door it flung wide open

In she come, it was Jill's mum, who fancied a good ****.
Sat on Jack's ****, like an old sock nothing but a wrinkled hag.

Jill came in and with a grin she took the *** stained rag
And as Jill smiled, she was riled
And threw it at the ******* ****.

Jill's mum got up, off Jack's **** and slapped Jill in the chops.
Jack phoned the law, called Jill a *****.  
And they where taken away by the cops

OH The Grand Old Duke of York he had ten thousand men.
He ****** them all up the **** then he ****** them all again.
And when he was up, he would ****.
And when he was down, out of luck.
And when he was only half way up, his men would have to ****.