I am a *****
Minus the triggers being pulled and the drugs being sold
But just a black man bold enough to face a world so cold
A cold world we call society
When being black and sobriety doesn't mix because we use drugs in variety
But quietly
I am a *****
Thinking what made this word so negative
Is it because we made it positive
Or is it negative we became cognitive enough for a scholarship
Yes, I am a *****, no I'm not a rapper
But this system makes me sick enough for chicken soup and crackers
Yes, I am a *****, and I am an athlete
And I still maintain my sanity from having my *** beat
Although I am a *****, I am not lesser than you
Nor am I second to you
I just wonder what it takes to get the message to you
Crazy I'm a ***** yet I still know my father
Crazier calling me a ***** doesn't give me a bother
Maybe it's crazy that I'm a part of the problem
What's craziest is I'm a ***** still attending a college
You should have no problem reading this regardless of race
What's absurd is a word means more than a face
We're more focused on race than we are as a species
But I'm going to sit back and take a sip of this sweet tea
We went from black panthers, huge bushes, picks, and combs
I thought words could never hurt you?
What happened to sticks and stones?

All my life I had to fight
A reference from a movie
But when you win the fight the loser always tries to shoot me
Momma taught me to do right
No need for a gunshot
To get away from the cold streets I developed a jumpshot
But the thing is this road traveled greatly
Taught myself how to shoot but without dribbling I traveled greatly
No indoor courts forced to practice in the cold
In another neighborhood my actions rather bold
All that practicing in the rain made my skills so good
Until they rolled up with intentions that were no good
They asked me who I was and why I was on their block
I tried to ignore but out their coat it was a glock
Here I am in mid jumpshot
The next thing I heard was one gunshot
I'm hit, shot in the back on the leg
Thinking I was dead
Thanking god for not being shot in the head
They thought I was dead too so they up and left
And I'm laying trying to breathe panicing and ******* breath
How was I suppose to ball with a hole in my leg
All I could think about was the day before
How coach told me I would start and how he wanted me to score
But a bullet wound forced me to sit out
Didn't want to play professional just wanted to get out

In a blink of an eye everything can change
Homeless man who begs for change, people looking a him strange
They dont care about his pain,  nor his pride, and not his story
But he keeps believing god and to god be the glory.
In a blink of an eye you can lose your eyesight.
In a blink of an aye you've grown no more time to fly kites.
In a blink, can you think, that the girl that use to wink
At you in high school, turned her sorrows to a drink.
She don't see a point in living now her parents aren't living.
In a blink of an eye, their last breaths were given.
In a car crash, their bodies crushed up in a civic.
She couldn't see her parents the day she got her first ribbon.
For first place, fastest runner in the state.
So when she heard the bad news there's no doubt she ran away.
In a blink of an eye, your best friend can be gone.
His mother comes outside to him lifeless on the lawn.
In a blink of an eye, he's a victim to the hood.
He was coming home from school, trying to become a doctor is just something that he would have became.
But in a blink his life was changed.
All the knowledge in his brain but bullets never have a name.
From your first blink in the morning, all you think about is paper.
Put it first, but in a blink you meet your maker.
Tears coming to your eyes, one more blink would make you cry.
Your life is now changed in the blink of an eye.

Some people can't handle it
Leaving your comfort zone straight to being depressed
When your feelings get dismantled
And all you feeling now is ***
You no longer connect
So you shoot her that "text", in the night,
Like "I'm moving on to the next, I'm tired of the stress I wish you the best"
And now she can't sleep, can't get her no rest
Because you was her future, and now you just like the rest
Then you tell her "be blessed"
Now she calling you foul, here come two shots from the ref
Turn into shots of patron
Turn into drunken nights, she sleep in your sweater because it still reeks of cologne
And now you're alone
Because you're tired of the break ups, the make ups, and fake bluffs, when you make love
Man I hate love
It's like you go from a great love,  it hits you like a date drug
Out of nowhere
Now it's no air, because you're suffocating from fake love.
Surrounded by females that say they want you and then proceed to give fake hugs
Go from having ***** ***, you get her wet, then you talk *****, so much dirt you can make mud
But it's safe to say, **** LOVE, leave them feelings in the rubber
Because now it's **** love until you fallen for another.

What makes a monster a monster?
Is it his surroundings or maybe it's just life?
Or does he remember graphically the day his mom was knifed?
She said he'd live for greatness as her breath she gave her last.
When no police around because response time wasn't fast.
Police barely even came unless they're trying to **** a culture
Am I a monster because I'm black? And why must your gun leave its holster?
Do I look like a threat when I just came from hooping?
Or do I just look stupid because the books you gave were useless?
Was it because of dreads, you thought I rapped, sold drugs, or used em?
Are did you see I would get my degree and later become a nuisance?
To a system designed against us but you swear this land is equal.
When the only thing that's equal is the way you **** my people.
Give em toxic music and train em to watch the tv.
Watch the youth reduce to fools while we control the things they see.
And we control who they can be.
But I then peeped the game and all the chains that make us "free"
A dog don't need a leash, beat him good and he will listen.
Then give illusions of a freedom while subliminally in a prison.
What makes a man a monster before his life even begins?
When us blacks just want equality thank god it's not revenge.

The life of a roach is never glorified.
Much like the life of a Black man or woman.
In which 50 of us die, and the next 50 have children while they're children.
We could never have a meal, we succumb to the crumbs of society.
In the dark with our friends eating quietly.
It's like the black race was destined to be a roach.
Either you're coached to conform or you smoke until a roach.
It's like nobody care about the birth of a roach.
Maybe it's the color or the way that they look.
While it's ironic that roaches reside in a black house.
They'll never make it in the white house.
Because that system is so clean that a "roach" would get wiped out.
It's like the roach is petrified by the butterfly whites.
Never could eat a steak, a lot of pb & j on butter knife nights.
It's crazy because even Blacks don't like roaches.
But it seems blacks don't like blacks either, a sickness in need of a potion.
It's even crazier that this is nothing about a roach.
But it's more about a race, that's ended by a rope.
Called a noose and then a chain, to make a change for the pain.
When the slave system got better than what we overcame.
How could you hit or stop what you eyes can't see?
While it's ironic how they blind us with TV.
Is it a system that can sense that we're a threat.
When the police war is heating up, and we're the ones with the sweat.
While we either selling a rock or dishing a rock.
And even athletes get locked up so youth don't listen to cops.
While you blame the blacks for picking a lock.
While filthy society said it was clean by blaming roaches for missing a crop.
And the craziest thing is the death of a roach too numerous to care about.
Much like the blacks when we march on a racial death, while the other deaths aren't shared about.
While that black boy went missing, nobody knew of his whereabouts.
How do you beat a system half of us aren't aware about?

Being with a Goddess is like, a dive in a pool on a hot day, or like a coat in a harsh winter. It's like it's crazy when the same person can cool you off yet keep you warm. It's crazy how you find your self staring at a women for a weird amount of time, daydreaming about your future together. I mean like, you're already in her presence but you're dreaming about being in her presence again and again. It's like you find the one and become obsessed, but are blessed enough that the feelings are mutual. It's like staring into all the good things that you give the world. Which makes you want to give the world. It's like have you ever become obsessed with someone's scent, or can you just hear their voice on repeat in your head laughing at corny jokes you may have said. It's like being obsessed so bad that you go to bed talking to her, dream about her, and then search for her the first thing in the morning. It's like her skin resembles vanilla, so smooth, so taunting, so enticing, makes you just want to bring her pleasures. It's like she has the treasure and I'm the captain of a ship that's just lost afloat in an ocean you call her eyes. It's like no lies can disguise the fact that you fly everytime you see her eyes. It's like you become infatuated with her curves. From her smile to her thighs to her eyes when they squint up from that annoying little laugh she has. It's like looking in her pupils are dangerous, leaving you intoxicated, unfunctional even. I don't know man it's like these things are unexplainable. Like trying to explain feelings that are uncontainable. Being with a Goddess is amazing, but she's more like a Genie how she makes your wishes come true. And how you want to tell her come through so you can make her *** two to three times within 30 minutes. But the *** life is a story that I will leave unfinished.

Her mystery involves history
Reading people, adding 2 and 2 to see if she has chemistry
With another person, who's views are shaped the same so that she can see the symmetry
But in the past I've seen more legs than a guy who studies centipedes
But eventually a mystery will begin to see solutions
And the man she fell in love with is having some confusion
About who she really is and so he came to his conclusion
That his woman is a puzzle, trying to replace a piece with peace
But his piece of peace was impeached by the thoughts that she would cheat
So he tries to tame the beast with a leash but the anger is released
He didn't know his wife had slept with strangers on the street.
A building built on lies disguised with *** with plenty guys
And then she acts surprised and plays the victim with her eyes
See the Mystery is not because her history is one that wasn't sinless
But her history was a mystery for a time portrayed as endless.

No man alive can tell what her eyes have seen
Only the right man can recognize the sorrow
That hopeless vast look not caring if she lived to see tomorrow
See the crazy thing is that the eye of the storm is calm
But yet the storm in her eyes is ferocious
Her eyes show a darkness that's deeper than the oceans
See they say the eyes is the window to the soul
But yet them same eyes show that her soul went cold
See her eyes over flow with passion then flood with extensive tears
So she cover her eyes with expensive shades to hide expensive fears
See her eyes can't disguise the phony **** her smile shows
Until the day her eyes saw her husband now her smile glows

Is she my heaven
When I'm at war with the world is she my weapon
My support my light
Someone that I can one day call wife
Or is she my hell
Someone that has me so blinded that I can't see the spell
Fools gold
A fast lane addict trying to suggest for me to move slow
Is she an angel or demon

Is she the source of my happiness
Someone to comfort me when the stress is too stressful
Or maybe she's someone I give *** to
Is she the source of my anger
Blaming me for the **** that she caused
Or maybe she found me to change the fact that she's lost
Is she an angel or demon


Am I the only one that gives joy to her day
Or is she on games like she's in an arcade
Maybe she's a demon and I'm the devil
Maybe not
Maybe I'm a pirate and she's treasure
Maybe not
Maybe she's vibrant and need pleasure
Maybe so
But what's crazy though
Is that maybe taking the good with the bad is what makes us whole?