Five sixteen am
Here I am again
No Sleep Yet
Oh Ps; There is no bet

The Feeling of Expression
The Use of Words
A sense of Relief
Rushing from my head
IN your bed
I wonder what Your dreaming,
I know I love You
And You Love me

Our Relationship will be
As god intends it to be

my  heart
my head
throb with confusion
and question my existance

the life im living
the women im becoming
im not quite sure

you would recognize her

i had it all but hated it overall
it took this one time where i thought having no mall
was the worst thing of them all
b ut boy oh how i was wrongly  mistaken.

Here and now.
Right now
not than
its night
humid
depressing
cloudy not hazy
i love him
im afraid
here i go again
its crazy its insane
i dont know
thats just it
i do

I like the way it hurts
I love the way you think
Thats okay
I love the way you lie.
Love Is crazy
Insane.

I feel it
i sense it
Your all I feel
Its like as if nothing is...Your all it seems to be
at least in the world i live to witness -
despite it all
Im sorry
For being your downfall.

For what its worth.
Just watch me
Pretend to feel
Ill tell you Im okay
When all is going good
Its going great
But once you leave
Im back to it all over again
Reality.
It hurts
You say you get it
You understand
You dont
You can not
I promise you
This is pain depicted
from a first person point of view

All so familiar
So suffocating
Yet Ive become
So used to it
Its the typical
just another day in the life
something
nothing
another day lived
is another battle won

i am not sorry
for all the pain you have endured
is just a test
a test to make sure
youre ready for whats to come
whatever it is
a mere bump in the road
might seem to some as  a disaster
but remember that the grass may be greenner

A secon chance

The second Act

The flash of the night

Taking over the sun lit sky

Transforming right in front of my eyes

Loosing Control

Needing to GO

Being alone,

time after time again

Realizing It's Ok

For Thats Just who I am

not that I did or Have.

I can not help that its a problem
actually scratch that-

I can . I Need help -

Getting out is one solution.
Starting over.
Alone.
Is the solution.

i Need too/
Stop being ****** up
Let them go
Like they ALL have left you in the past

Its bearable
its usual

Im alone.
As god intended it to be
forever and more

My Life.
Your Understanding.
So Different.
Understanding will take an eternity
Your outlook isnt going to help you see
It wont put my world through your eyes any more clear
Just more fog to add to the haze.

T u r n
Off the light
So you can see my dreams
But if you look close enough-
You will see...
No light is even on
Afterall,
Its already Sunny and bright-
You heat up my heart,
And light my Sun,
You are my Sky
You are my Moon and My Stars-
You make up My Entire
Solar System.

You MAkE the beauty In My life
Through my eyes-
You ARE the Beauty in my life.

Its only time
thats all we need
time is the essence of what we need
your what i breathe
your all I feel
Everything I see
Is Surrounded By you

all of this
once again
seems to be
another bad begining again


same problems
different location

isolation from the world
fear of the moon
and even the sun light
this is daily

a boyfriend
who isnt even a friend
simply a little boy

who met me in the peak of the turning
but really it was me who gave in
emotionally scared

and forever questioning

and theres no denying
I hate to feel this way
Im so used to it
Its all real
here I am again
summer after summer
***** and dusty
pale and thick
hot and sticky


withering away
getting bigger with hate
smaller with confidence
these words its all I feel
all I have

It wont amount to you

I could try to be just as bad as you
just as pathetic and worthless

I wont.

through the clouds
over my head
beneath my toes
a feeling
opposite of good
but worse than bad

more terrible than the last ex
i lost everything

even the one person
who loved me

for me