quiet the contarary
i did it
i failed
i felll on the ground
of the addicting retail pit of helll

california
gracious and prestiges
inadvertantly
equally overcrowded
the water the sand
the brisk breeze
i miss you
you squeeze my hand
I want to scream
this is the facts
i want him back
the trees
the unfriendly cold
makes me yern
for your love

my dreams
too many to keep count of
float through my conciounce
every second despite being awake,
I question just as much as ever

what a fluzee
excuse me
interject the topic
that most needs discussion
take the lead
your you
yet im still me,
not now or forever.
time might be looked at as wasted,
i look at time
being forever to precious to sit and wait
while i boil with hate.

And the Piece of paper
not even worth being named
so unIMPORTANT
thats what ill scribble
my name on

its my turn to get congratulated
ill be more real
a little bit specific
congratuHATED.

I am ashamed.

ashamed of being associated with the reflection
trying to keep myself from the world
when I just want to get away
forever
from myself

its like what the ****
can i plan to wreck
obviously subconciously
beneath my distracted eyes
ill make my move
ill plan it steatlthly
so quant and quiet
youll wonder how you'll ever miss me

but in the end
Youll hate the idea of ever knowning me.

From Everything Ive felt

through it all

Its not enough

every ounce of hurt

layered in more hurt

than smothered with hate

this is it

the emotion that hits every level of pain

The end to being relieved of pain

is killing my self slowly