YOUR VOICE WAS A THUNDERCLAP
I COWERED UNDER THE BED
MY SKELETON TURNED TO FIREWOOD
AS YOU DOUSED THE HOUSE IN GASOLINE

MY PHONE VIBRATES IN MY BELLY
IVE SWALLOWED YOUR VOICE MAILS
ITS EASIER TO HIT IGNORE
THAN IT IS TO HEAR YOUR VOICE

CANDID PHOTOS OF YOU
ARE TACKED TO MY WALLS
I TRIED TO LET THIS OBSESSION DIE

I PUSH MY NAILS INTO MY PALMS
MY HANDS ARE VOODOO DOLLS

IT FEELS AS IF MY THOUGHTS
ARE STUCK IN CAPS LOCK
I NEVER WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN

Dear Beautiful,
There are galaxies on your fingertips. They churn out words that explode like stars. I orbit around you

Dear Poet,
You write with honesty. I respect that. You spill your guts out onto paper for all to see. You wear your secrets like shawls. I try not to cry when I think of you on his bedroom floor

Dear Librarian,
All you do is read and write. Read and write. Read and write. Read and write. Are you reading these letters? Are you writing a reply?

Dear Laughter,
I like watching your stomach muscles squeeze when you laugh. However your smile is one of the few things I hate. Your teeth are stained with tea and coffee. You don’t smile enough. I could learn to live with that

Dear Cigarettes,
There’s a burning in my throat. I imagine myself with a hole in my windpipe, talking through a machine. I don’t know why I’m telling you this

Dear *****,
I hate you so much. You make me pull out my fingernails. You make me hold my head under soapy waves. You are a volcano leaking lava and it’s killing me. Melting my flesh and burning my bones. I am ash. You are the fires of Pompeii. You need to be extinguished

Dear Sorrow,
I’m sorry about that last letter

Dear Warrior,
You punched me in the face today. You split your knuckle on my teeth. I tasted your blood. The metallic bitterness sweet on my tongue. My jaw is bruising. It’s swollen. Is this an abusive relationship?

Dear Thunderstorm,
You’re a sonic boom. Please don’t do this to yourself.

Dear Beautiful,
You still have galaxies on your fingertips. But your heart has been replaced by a black hole. I need to leave before I’m ****** in. Swallowed whole. I’m sorry for wasting your time

He talks to me,
In dreams,
When I wake up,
When I sit at the writing desk,
Quill in my hand.
He made me feel safe.
Who are you?
I am Hyde.
Why are you in my head?
To guide you. To help you. To love you.

He spoke to me everyday,
His deep and subtle voice lingering
In the back of my mind,
Never interrupting  when I spoke,
Never intervening in my actions.
I felt compelled to keep him close,
To drag him from the dark confines
Of my subconscious and let him
Perch behind my eyes so he could see what I see,
Behind my mouth so he could say what I say,
Behind my heart so he can live like I live.
We became one.

But one day he changed.
He grew stronger,
Louder,
I felt his phantom presence
Fuse with my bones,
Wrapping his fingers around my ribcage,
Cutting off the air in my lungs.
It was suffocating,
Letting him take over me,
To overpower me.
I tried to send him back to Hell,
Back to the dark confines
That I so willingly and half-heartedly
Pulled him from,
But I was weak and I was foolish.

I felt the sinister urges boil beneath my skin,
Felt the need for destructive satisfaction with each pulse,
He didn't want to hurt people,
I did.

I gave myself to him,
And now I am his puppet.
A tragic love story between
A troubled body
And a chaotic mind.