Kimberly Clemens

Kimberly Clemens Mar 2014

Laying on my back I watch the ceiling,
the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars begin to fall one after another-
as I regard my world crumbling from the bottom up
and the sky feigns my view to take me back
to picturesque memories of childhood in the summertime.

A ball flying towards the power lines in
the action of a cul de sac neighborhood game
And countless bending limbs towards a mailbox driveway
To saftey.
The verdant grass on the ground encompasses a happy body;
A ball of innocent energy laughing in the perfection of a moment
That wasn't captured on camera.

Road trips to New York in the camper
Playing music that I didn't know I would be holding close to my heart,
Living in time that went by much slower than it does now-
Forever joking to daddy are we there yet?
The sand dune hills never seemed so big
As they did when I built sand castles in the gritty beige of my grandma's land.
The bristling field never felt as fresh
As the first times I ran out in them,
Laughing in the perfection of another moment
That was not captured on camera.

Back home, when grandma and grandpa still lived with us,
I run around in tiny clothes in my tiny body
Planting flowers in pots with my grandma in the warm summer air
And hitching lawn mower rides as my grandpa mows the lawn.
Held in his firm arms I am laughing in the perfection of a moment
That was not captured on camera.

I can feel the golden light of happiness still inside me-
Bubbling and giggling as innocence hides somewhere inside my maturity.
I watch the ceiling above me fall back into place
Gaze at the stars flowing back into their given position
As if they'd never moved at all,
I lay here as my mind reaches back to when it wasn't hard to be infinitely happy,
To moments of innocence that bring me back
To safety
While I laugh in the imperfection of a moment
That is me now.

Kimberly Clemens Mar 2014

A Songbird's Flight

When you feel like I am drifting away-
Like a sailboat idle on the sea,
Just know that you are the wind pushing me.

When you think I am not the same as I was before-
As if I changed in the blackness overnight,
Just know that you are the one who acted as the sunlight.

When you say that all I am doing is shutting you out-
Like I somehow built a door and closed it tight,
Just know that your accusations are not always right.

When you start to believe that I am gone for good-
As if I were a flighty songbird singing to you in the sky,
Just know that you are the lighting in the rain clouds that cued my goodbye.

Kimberly Clemens Feb 2014

Staircase Tumble

You are the wooden staircase
that I foolishly tried climbing down.
My socks were too clean for your surface;
I slipped and tumbled in a torsion of flailing limbs.
Each impact I bounced down harder
the farther I fell for you.

Kimberly Clemens Feb 2014

Self Destruct

Anxiety has a tendency to creep up on you-
It sneaks into memories you thought were worth smiling for
and darkens the scene.
With a crooked smile it pours hatred down your nervous system,
and it sets you off.
The worthlessness you suddenly feel is only self induced-
But you cannot stop the poison from spreading
onto overwhelmed hands frightened and shaking
with your arms desperately painted with blood
breathing in each breath like you're suffocating...

Your body tries to evacuate the venom
through spilling eyes.
As you sit
crumpled onto the floor
feeling like a mess of a creation,
Anxiety quietly stares at you.
It's crooked smile twisted wide across its face
succeeding at eating you alive-
triumphant and satisfied at its work.

Kimberly Clemens Feb 2014

Pink Cheeks

It's a light feeling,
Like a fistful of tiny scribbled hearts
on the edge of your paper.

Then it grows and glistens,
Like a spark in your stomach startling
the stable butterflies into chaos.

And it gets bigger,
Like the roller coaster drop in your stomach
tinting cheeks pink upon arrival.

Yet it beats you down,
Like you're just wasting your feelings on
a gamble you weren't sure you would win, but

Still the feeling grows,
And you grow sore from the stretched heart beats pumping still,
reaching out to try beating harmonies alongside the preliminary.

Over and over we try,
The next time always hoping pink roses will darken to red,
hoping they won't crinkle into withered fallacies again.

And again and again we find ourselves
Breaking our hopeful smiles at the sight of what we want-
given to someone else.

Kimberly Clemens Jan 2014

The Ballon-Filled Sky

Do you-
Do you know
How scared I am
Of gripping rope that will break
Just as I am about to reach the plateau?
Do you-
Do you hear
The distant echoes
Resonating within the hollow core of my ribs
Whispering within the empty mass of broken, gushing heart beats?
Do you-
Do you understand
That I am not sure how to act
When my vocal chords won't sing the way they should
Do you-
Do you see?
I am falling into a ditch of ashes
Of all the wishes I've long since burned
Do you-
Do you feel me
Slipping out of your hands
As I sway up to the sky aimlessly searching for stars in the daytime
Do you-
Do you know
How lost I feel when I look around
I cannot tell you how much I need to be wrapped in grounded arms.

Kimberly Clemens Jan 2014

Ocean Heart

I dove into a sea
of screaming memories
That nobody could hear but you

I fell into an ocean
Where skin bleeds as easily
As hearts do

I crashed into the waves
built up from broken promises
And the saltwater matched my eyes

I submerged underwater
Masking the storming ocean of my own
Breathing in suffocating sighs

I floated to the surface
Holding the same promise of a buoy,
The same disillusion as a shark

When I washed up on the shore,
The sun tried to warm my hands
But bright as this world may be, I will always be dark.

An inspired poem