I hate my heart
It keeps tallies of those it's come in contact with
it never forgets
it always lives in every moment of its existence
there is no past present or future in my heart
it is disillusioned
it allways loves
allways hurts
allways trusts
but never knows how to be unforgiving
I hate my heart
it is blind
it allways feels
it controlls my very being
It allways leads
it allways fights
It loves the fleeting
I hate my heart
because it never stops
and when it does
I will find peace in feeling nothing

I don't need medicine to be okay.
I said.
*right?

I noticed that something has
Truly changed when I didn't
Pray this morning nor
Pledged the flag.
I used to believe in God and
Our nation but it's been
Something I seem to lag lately.

Curled on the sand
Ten miles back,
I saw the ghost of myself
And hauntings of my past;
I saw the shadow of a body
And my bones decaying at last.

Disfigured and hanging from a tree,
I saw my heart dangling above me
And my ****** fingers mangled in debris.

Singing in a valley
Twenty years back,
I discovered the remains of my voice box,
All blistered and full of cracks;
I discovered the accompanying crusty lips,
Lightly humming and unknown track.

Twisted and frozen in ice,
I discovered my one and only vice
And my once golden hair, laden with lice.

My body,
Once pieced together in perfection,
Has fallen apart
And become my collection;
Everything that was flawless
Is now enveloped in infection.