I regret that I'm still here
Facing the last trip of train,
Bound for one last beer
Repeat for tomorrow again

To think some few years ago
I was once a proud plethora
A kid with ambitions to show
Wits to which I'm not a goner

Wasted days of my youth
Earning a way to discredit
My parents' sense of repute
All the while dying underneath

Moments after the expected
Here I saw myself standing
On a glass panel window I wept
Wishing to be just good at lying

'My life is ******* brilliant' I said
Counting the cigars I had left
Smoking another 'one last' dread
Before the 12 AM train depart

It's hardly an effort for your ghastly soul
Leaving me sheltered on this prickled rain
Maybe for the reason that you imagined
It all happening in your head, ever since

Brewing in each step you took looking afar
A heavy storm circling on my chest
Joyful on the assumptions of being subpar
Calamity at worst, first among the firsts

I still, however, imagine how we slow-danced
Hopelessly against the wave of hands
Pushing us far from the reach of each other
Many chances taken but none won over

So it is hardly an effort for me not to cry
Falling over an unmistakable silver lining
You had me at the very least of efforts
Left me with the very least of trying

Remember to water down the rainbows
The ones I grew on our backyard
Never fail to realize each color I arranged
Were the days we watched every sunsets

Worry not, I will tuck my shirt properly
White and crisp like how you told me
Pristine as silver, I will bear my clothes
As I edge closer and closer to being free

Smile as I pander to the life I'm leaving
Afterimages of warm hugs in the winter
Crossing against the torrent of tears
I have known to be cold but serene

To lie away with a bed of thorned roses
As the youth I sought to savour
Gradually fade unto the hug of you
On my first breath upon this world

To leave this earth ever so early
Sure is much peaceful than how I hoped
Seeing the rainbows we grew on our yard
Will soon be arching to your embrace

Must be nice
Must be good
For the world
Not to fall apart
When I feel
Happy
For once

I was just a random book
Displayed in a blank library
Collecting dust and tears
Yet, untouched and contended

Then you suddenly picked me
Decided to read every chapter
Recite the poems I wrote
Since the day I learned to write

I was happy that day
To be suddenly the center
Of a galaxy I never thought
To even exist on the same universe

Books were meant to be read
So how lucky I was to be baptized?
Being a complete book on a--
Very unexpected circumstance

But for my misplaced expectations
You eventually got tired of reading
And here I am
Back to the corner of the library

Collecting dust all over again

It is always back to you
Even if traversing the path
I could not otherwise take
Would always bring me back

Back to your door

Does not matter which road I take
Since every crossroad and roundabouts
Will always bring me back tongue tied
Begging for another chance

And it seems very problematic
For a cold pigment of the past
To scare me this much
Life must have really gone backwards

As I'm always the recognizable joke
It is hard to even realize that--
I could not laugh at myself
Knowing how serious I am

On looking forward to be
Back at your door again

In case you miss me in the night
Remember my favorite quote,
"Butterflies does not know
the stillness of the ground
but knows the vastness of it."

Be the butterfly that soars
Ever knowing of the turbulence
And the resistance of the winds,
Be the butterfly that lives
Knowing the vastness of the world