I dreamt you weren't alive, I didn't mind.
I, I realized you were out of life, out of time,
Of this history from which you have moved on.
Now your ashes in a sacred place, the home you called your peace.
But you know, you're scattered everywhere in my climb.
And maybe this imaginary line will lead me back to you
Is it a circle or does it have four right angles?
Does it remain expanding or can't we cross it?
This universe, are you in it?
Because I wish you were here
And wish I knew where it is that you were
Give me some answers.
Let me know if you're free, unrestricted of a body
This casing it's not built correctly or at least that's what they've got me to believe
Should I be lost without you?
Because everyone's still trying to find a way
And I'm wondering if they're asking their grandmama
Or their papa, or their long lost partner
These same old questions
I wonder if their God understands because mine is nonexistant
He does not listen
Nor does he appear in my dreams
I had a nightmare, and you were there.
You said, don't dream if you don't dream to care
We'll dream anyway, I said, we just have to be forgetful
Because everytime I see you I always remember I love you

Don't you worry your head away
Morning will come and the past will subject to fade
All the regrets and all the words chattering in a pessimist way
It's lost me from you in the dragging night
I heard your whispers carry through the dusty floor,
And the undusted surfaces of this home of ghosts
You said you needed a little time to be alone
Never wanted anything more, more seemed too undeserving
You're fighting battles hoping someone would come along to end it all
To finally understand, and love you for whom you are
I did, I asked, there was nothing I wanted more.
But you refused to let me in
I wasn’t the prize, I never got the win.
Don’t wait in the day and night for that perfect person
I could be standing there, here with you
With all the love you need, all the tenderness for two
I’ll dust the shades to let the light shine through
I’ll clean you up, clean you to who you were before
Just break down this barrier
Burn off the padlock
Throw away that awful key
I’ll love you forever, forever, and forever more
I see the giant anchor holding your head bent towards the surface
I say it’s time to unhook you
Let you see the majestic world
Hold my hand,
This friendship will never let go, you anchored head
Let me be your regret you will never want to forget
And you’ll always be my 2 am late night shift
Not sleeping, talking
Conversing repetition, circling chatters around in our heads,
Our free heads,
Our clear minds,
Cause we’ll learn how to share and cope together
Define the fine lines

I didn’t want to wake from those nightmares
Because you were there
Because of your unconditional love
Because of something I could not make up
I feel you even if you’re translucent and grey
Because your soul is heavy
And this memory I will not bury
Won’t you give me something physical to carry?

a brown cardboard home
underneath a busy bridge
I hear the passing by of tied men and pumped feet
popping against the rough cement
the whirl of the wind curling in the arch of an underway
cuts the air through my ragged clothes
not a car zooms by these lonely days and nights
I am safe but I am not happy nor sad
I do not feel shame and I am not proud
the smell of the gutter spill from the city above
I take a liking in its never changing smell
only the river waves sing me to sleep
I veer out into the foggy streets
Not an eye sets its stare upon me
Only those curious enough to drop a bill or two into my water cup
that I hold out to the sky when it starts to rain
the river's poison I've seen a man die in it
the river runs wild I lost my tattered shoes to it
been starving for weeks
hoping that the trash man drives by soon
he'll drop some litter and I'll be rummaging
my stomach will hurt for days but I am satisfied
my body keeps running
and here in this brown cardboard home
I never gave to the ideas of
doubts,
regrets,
greed,
happiness,
love,
ambition or dreams.
I slept and I awake
I don't feel and I'm undead.
I'm torn but I piece myself together
I never understood why but why I feared that this might end
and someone might take me
and put me somewhere new
some place where I'm shaven and cleaned to the teeth
fingernails and toes
given new itchy clothes
and a shiny pair of shoes
I'll be looked to improvement,
pressure to make progress
progress to make good change
stress to bottle my mind full of senseless thoughts
to **** for peace
to work for paper
to follow rules the lawmakers do not follow
to dream but never achieve
I think I will go back to my little cheap motel,
the brown cardboard love,
the home made from less than a single tree
and I will be merry
to know I don't need those toils
I'll spend my day worse than dirt,
soiling my life free of turmoils.

I stood in the silence abiding the time until you spoke
Even needing you couldn't bring you out from where you're hiding
Sometimes the dullness of life left me feeling like I never got off on my feet
Never got to the door and never leaving
So when I called out your name no one listened
And now that I'm nailed off not a name is spoken
Then where are you, and when are you now the person that you promised
I waited so long and haven't found the thing that you left me with
I thought it was love but love is broken
An epic that everyone was involved in, no casting
So where have you been?
Not lost in the darkness
Not found in the light
Still sequestering in the beautiful night above
So slow so still in the quiet air now my love
Does the north bring me to you?
And the south back to where I laid?
Yet in the black and blue there is no sign, no shadow of where you lay.
Then where is it?
When does it?
Will it be where the unknowable plays?
Because you won't tell.
And the leaves can't say.
I'm left with everything that I want to create
But when I want nothing what is it then will I delineate?
To you about all the questions that my endless curiosities leave me every single day.

Trip over the high density of our constant lies
We're all out to break and hurt the non-elite
Words and phrases they never meant a thing but to lure you in
This facade of love that we send soldiers like cattle
Down an assembly line to build and protect
A fake America, burning towers tumbling down
Bellowing the sweet sorrows of victims
Whose screams we replay the audio over and over
To divert you from seeing the real culprit  
We are sick minded human beings with the thirst for enemies
We'll kiss everyone we meet on the cheek
And continue to fake what we tell you we'll be
We prefer a stabbing to the back
Never a full frontal attack
And we have puppets
We'll always find someone to replace the current like the forty four before
The people's memories will fade and burn like corpses caused by the Enola Gay
We''ll drop a bomb to wipe out everything mankind has worked for
Because in the end we do not need peasants
We have everything and everyone else has absolutely nothing
And 99% will lay to waste and ruin in the ruins we leave to burn
We'll pity so we can mislead to false hope
Send small portions of rations to schedule feeding underlings
Flouride in the drinking water to better control
Corruption in the oval office classified, uncovered, never shared
Always kept underwraps, never revealed just a hoax.
Lips to ears do the whispers carry.
A promise for a better tomorrow but a date will never be set for peace
So we keep telling you that it only gets better
And we'll think apologies fix everything
Truth is we meant nothing in the first place
Because we'll keep remaking mistakes that we apologize for
Misery is our job
Eating and breathing and surviving on the pain of lower humans
Like clothed animals rampaging through a corrupt society
So we'll let the people let their guard down for a quick second and us, vultures
Will devour them quick in that moment
To find you are empty inside,
We've starved you of what you've needed
Because all along, and everything we've ever done
we never realized once you've all revolted
this 1% would surely fall to pieces.

99 On these back roads
Lit up empty in a city everyone knows it's name
The bitter sweet song plays on the stereo
Her voice escaped me
But I knew her words would take me on a new second
On a new road where no one knew it's name, or her name
And the mailboxes raised its flags to be emptied
Cozy tiny homes filled with families waiting to die
pouring poison down into their endless pits
Hoping one day a miracle would turn the wind the other way
They wanted a dream that lived while they were awake
That storm did come when they were held, while they were touched
How powerful, nothing they could do to leave
It drew them closer the stronger they desired to have it
And around it came with its winds, and rains and fire blew upon their little homes
Swept up into the ground broken and in need of replacement
They picked up the bits of the photo frames that held their memories
And offered up to the sky what it already took from them

I was trying to change you, yeah I was
To push you around, like a dog, like a cat
like an animal cause I think you should be made into a mat
Oh, but I wasn't, I didn't mean to bite you so mean
But I am an animal, a diabolical creation too
So let us growl and bare our teeth
Let the blood pour down onto our feet
Wait, just stop, I back down you can push me around
I like the violence, the impact of your hate
on the things that I've become as of late
So could you give me a tissue now?
I would like to wipe the blood from my mouth
Let's play nice, let's hug it out
But I can't, I want, the change, it creeps me in underneath your skin
you can't wait, you send an invitation
Taste a bit of your poison, hanging from your fangs
I reach in and I'm down your esophagus
I nestle and I begin to digest into your vessels,
And I feed you my evil, this courage you crave
undeniable.

she cups something in the cradle of her shivering hands
a piece of body warm candy, cellophane crumbled up
a neon quilted paperclip, a wilted tulip
the stars, the moon, the quivering of the rocking fan
the warping granite, the pastel green lawns, the cars that sped along
she wore a feline attire, whiskers drawn on the curves of her cheeks
she held out her secret, the one she kept close to her feet
while she stayed low to the ground, safe as she hounded out,
"this is my stuff, my stuff you see,
but it is for me, for me, only."

Knock,
The front door’s unlock.
Kiss,
Who is he to miss?
Stepping through into the hallway,
Empty hearted, mature and dismay,
Eyes cried shut tight,
Searching with all his might,
For the people who’ve done him no wrong,
Because that’s where he thinks he belongs.
In the arms of bliss,
Hoping he’d never end up like this,
Wrecked up bone bag,
With nothing left to show for brag,
But blue devils seeping like sand from a sieve,
And only apologies left to give,
To no one, to everyone,
For all or for none.
Photo frames full of headless him,
Next to strangers his memory stretched thin,
To lies the boys and girls threw his way,
That lost his thoughts, his kind heart yesterday.
Today, tomorrow,
Every season sings its sorrow.
Made kind to his mind,
And rotted in due time.
Still he reaches through his phone,
Down a list of numbers that makes him feel more alone,
Numbers and names that haven’t been recently called,
Fear and insanity, friendships stalled.
He wonders, he questions why?
No wonder, they call but no reply.
Sinking into his bed,
His eyes fall wake less slumber to voices in his head.
“It’s just today,” he says, “tomorrow might not be the same,”
“And if it is then I am sure to blame.”

It's ok if you've forgotten about me, I got there first. Missed calls, texts full of apologies, never got to me. Didn't think you'd care, didn't think this would break me. God knows it did and it still does. Waiting around, waiting for something to happen. Wasting my lines and life stuck on rewind. Walked back to the past in hopes to find you. I didn't find what I wanted, now who are you? Making me feel what I've thrown away, how I love it. The way you hold so much power, over me, overly weak. Biting my nails, thinking about what to say, nothing comes out. Pure surprise, I didn't think so, not the way I bite bullets when I speak. I smile when you say, when you mouth the words, I love you. It's a beautiful lining, silver and cold, shoot me down. I was desperate, urging you to carry on with what I've got to lose. Everything and nothing, I surrender, let me plunder. Into the deep depths of your strange soul. I am forever enticed, forever lost in everything I haven't said before. Now here I am, confessing my thoughts, my magic to you I bow. There's nothing anymore I hold onto, there's little I say holds me down. The world is a speck and I'm floating beyond, in the space between you smile back. And a thousand tons hits me in the chest. So who are you and where are we? Isn't it strength that you stole?

Not an idea machine,
Stop making me lead.
When I go, where I leave
You don’t know, I never told.
I don’t want you to follow me.
No, these feet go different ways.
So stop walking on invisible lines
That you said were mine,
Mine I made, no, I didn’t pave.

You were the trick; your words are fake.
They imprisoned me.
So when you call me please
Have something useless to say
I own too much silence
I got too much time
I don’t have much talent but I have the lime
Light under my feet
Waiting for me to stop standing mighty
And so afraid…

Don’t trip me, I never asked for your advice.
You weren’t the image of what I was looking for.
Not anything from the inside.
What I found was a raging tide.
No, I didn’t enjoy my conscious twisted in a blaze of fire
Darkness makes things get quiet
I might have lost your words through the babble of your cries
What did you want me to do?
What did you say to me that got me so confused?
You say to be a leader
Lead, lead into a sea of war
Follow, listen, and be constant and always aware
Don’t you think, don't you make me feel like I'm losing air
Give poison thoughts,
And go through countless tries to destroy everything I’ve got.

Isolation, my longtime master
She feeds me the wrong ones;
The ideas that people make people dream of death
Standing there in the dreaming world on the concrete edge of bridges
I was looking down, standing proud
The world doesn’t want to know me now.
So where I looked,
There is no sight of ground
Then the blue, it brushes in displays of truth.
It calls for failure,
It wants me to give in,
Making me think I could live if I died of sin.
I found I was already alive and life, I loved.
Not the easy the way out, I cannot jump.

I’m not your idea machine,
And I won’t be a copy maker,
Reprinting of originals that could not lead;
Ersatz generic products fed to you.
Don’t you understand I am the son you cannot mend?
Tell me, was it worth the while with all that will?
I am well, my thoughts are well, or can’t you tell?
Have you gone and infused to the cold machine?
Are you a part of their humanitarian guillotine?

Living in a world full of people trying to make it, unrequited, believing in a dream you need to be asleep to see and believe. Can you believe it? No, I don't just have a couple repeated words for your zombified mind. Sit down, stick around and listen awhile. Everything you see isn't always which it seems. Problems of the world become the product of the world. This is where the profits made, money towering from the sadness you think you've saved. Simply donate a buck, whatever you can and never see it again. Still the stories of ******, suicide and the great divides carry on to keep you scared in your homes where you spend your days dreaming of what you could be, what would've been and what you should've done. Everything's alright. Everything's ok. Everyone's alone screaming for connection on the radio can't you hear their sad song but all you want to do is sing along. Still fading away, escaping what we're too scared to face, because we have our fancy cars, and our hip jeans, in our knee high leather boots, downing our premium aged poisons, and living our plastic prosthetic dreams. There is no poverty. There is no war. There are no deaths. We simply want more, more lies, more fight, more blood and more *** to keep us wanting more love, more hate, more loneliness down the road, we make until we can take no more and we're looking into the hole of a .45, pray Jesus lord and blast our brains in an old beat up FORD. This is not a negative broadcast, this is reality trying to reach you, trying to teach you to see that it begins with me, me who wants what he cannot obtain, me who loves but hates at the moment of change, me who wants to belong but does everything to stay far away, me who cannot forgive because the emotional pain is too much to feel again. It is truly a hard concept life. This material world. These material boys and girls. Draping on whatever extra layers they can to gain attention, to be a little more accepted yet it is who, themselves, they cannot love because who, we strangers, they cannot impress like their idols they so obsessively crave and praise

a mother caught a cheating husband.
a few minutes walk from their home in a high glass building.
from below she knew which apartment it would be
a green light shined from a Victorian lamp
which she had gifted the thieving *****.
as she ascended, the start of that beating drum
thumped loudly with every step
through the empty corridors
she held her ear at every red frame
for his voice of treason
and on the seventy fifth floor
at the eight hundred eighty eighth door  
she listened on
heard voices unthinkingly in love
her heart could not bare what her ears had heard
her joints and elbows contorted inward
towards her chest where she beat it madly with her fists
she slumped all the way home
plotting a demise for he and she
allowing malevolence to poison her good hearted soul
she thought of a way to get rid of them both
climbing an endless staircase dark and poorly lit
cries and tears of a joyless woman unrequited
passed her children without a momentary glance
not a wave goodbye
no more kisses goodnight
from the rooftop
passed the eight hundred eighty eighth door
she found her cure
she leapt as she stared out into the sky
and not a tear no more she will cry

I may now possibly believe
but I'm still on the fringes of doubt.
What will push me off the edge?
What will pull me back onto the ledge?

I don't know if I heard your voice
not through my ears, no, I don't know
it's a confusing mess, no less
but it's worth the time I invest

they call you by all kinds of names
they say you've handed over your words in a book
how can I find you on my own?
with all these obstacles that I am shown?

Drugged to the floor, but I couldn't open my eyes to make out whom it was who struck me down.
Even with all these experiences, god those failures I still cannot command this, this wretched heart whose weight lays heavier than the lies that it has managed to let spill
And whose poetry would reach my ear to steer myself farther from what I've been searching for
Even so I couldn't forget this wasn't enough and everything you gave I just wanted more
Because the hole I dug out is too big to fill and all the nothings I crammed in has amounted to what it was equaled to, this that I've been left with, what I'm happy with, is this feeling of being able to lose myself again and again to find it has been everything all along that has given me complete freedom
And in chaos I have learned that I havent been short of anything
Open my eyes wide enough I did, oh and I saw that it was I, who had given the blow

flat out, untouched,
abiding until the moment a hand
goes to pick you up,
their liquid waste, an accidental spill
fills your cotton pores
not even a polite question
"Can I use you, napkin?"
Or a delighting gesture; to use you once more
and more and more and more
but to crumble you, to grasp you and let you
ease into belonging; no longer disposable
though it doesn't last, you float through the air
into a pile of 20 second paper napkins
to find the lid is more compassionate
then those distant lines that seperate
the fingers into sections
it hides you from rejection

Waited for the right moment to let this go.
Didn't know I was going to end up turning on the wrong road.
Running away from all the things left unsaid.
Broke the pen caught up in the ink that bled.
I'm chasing a star in the sky that may no longer be there.
There's a connection, a thread that's drawing me in.
I am a fish bound by natural attraction
and hooked by a mindless decision.
This is the way I am
Do you prosecute me so?
I remain seamless and you've got me for sure.
Trickery is to be at hand and that hand you hold so high.
Hold me high to let me fall.
The ground broke the crash landing.
How heavy that burden were to be if dropped on your shoulders.
It would be justice for me to see you crumble, to see you small.
But I am not going to let these regrets drown me.
I am putting this past behind me so that I can untie myself from the ground
And float on, baby I need to float on.
I may think of you from time to time.
But I'm on fire and I have no one to put me out.
So I'm waiting on time to burn me down.
To ashes and from the ashes I will arise with change.
When I'm done you're to be sure to remember my name.
I have to let this all go.
And this is the best time for the show.
So when my mind turns fragile be the last touch to spiderweb the cracks until it finally shatters.
At peace I will be.
At last finally at last at peace I will be

The world spins in reverse in light of the sun burning out
Slowly spinning, slipping into a state of satisfactory self destruction
No one to let it know it's waiting on doom
Or make it feel like the end is coming sooner than what is already planned
The moon continues to fade
The sea is still wading, bringing in the wait upon the sands
Not wanting, or needing, being it simply does
And everything that burns it's little light inside lives and recycles and breathes an air of infinity

A prison planet veiled by an electromagnetic net,
Inducing amnesia, erasing past lives, millennia of experiences and replaces the mind with robotic self destructing thoughts built to keep the slave system ever going
Encaging souls to never be free from this biological prison
Shells recycling through, now the idea of reincarnation finally is put into clear view
Born again to lie wait in the hellish purgatory asked to enter the light
The light is the trap
The light is what brings you back to the Earth, the dumping ground for untouchable souls.
For souls always slaving for eternity.
Then what is the way out,
The way out is where?
Where is that we belong?
Why are the questions too unreachable?
And when I float on,
Will I be erased again and placed back into the stream, the norm, the low class untouchables?
Is there no way to be truly free, to travel the universes without the fear of capture.
I am at ends looking for the start but where the start begins is something I truly do not understand

Bring me back, bring me back alive.
Cause in this feeling I can't seem to last.
Take me from death like I haven't felt the life.
Even with the light I can't seem to see what's left in this flight
But I've found in you
What holds me so high

Let's run away, even if it's only for awhile
Whatever that means
The stars and moon wait for us, guide us, if only we'd grow some feet
There is the road and there is our mind
The two don't seem to meet
The two can't be handled
So why are we even complaining?
If it isn't what we want
If it's not a reason to be willing
But even after all the thoughts we lost it all to excuses
And meant for it to have some **** meaning
We shake our heads and we nod carelessly
We live vicariously through the television actors
And believe we've gone to the moon and a million.

Is this where we run faster chasing all that we dreamt of?
Acting like actors who can't lose the stage.
Unafraid of making unimaginable mistakes.
Learned and lost through trials of let downs and late night outs
Found peace in that unforgettable moment for it to slip away
Telling ourselves our dreams are made to stay but forced to fade
The truth comes often in the time of need although unwanting
Who we are no longer matters what mask we wear is what's more important
So when the truth reveals wait for everything to burn to the ground
We say we don't know love and sometimes it just isn't enough

Who knew love could wrinkle so fast.
Contending for first but ending at last.
Who knew someone’s promise was only a day’s story told
Where you’re wrong you’re always sold
Finding the perfect ones who weren't perfect at all.
End up tripping, victim to the fall.
To the love that clouded vision.
Taking away from a true mission.
Losing yourself in the chaos of miscommunication.
Never feeling enough appreciation.
Though you persevere and you pull through.
You find yourself and a new someone finds you.
Let the universe decide.
You are its contents, it is where you reside.
The clouds disperse, life dies and begins again.
Love is pleasure but don't forget the pain.
Be in love, be who you are.
Don't get consumed, always be aware.
You're no mistake.
Don't be a fake.

Have you ever
Smiled and cried?
Like no one could understand
But you were so happy
What the **** did it matter?

Dreaming on his death bed,
Looking like a dead man.
All the mourning faces,
Come to see him; He's vacant.
Had a knack for artists,
Paint something for the supremicists.
Their minds lack imagination.
He can be the one to blame.
Push him into leadership.
He will serve poison dishes,
and **** the competition.
Then he'll be a betraying motivation.
How could he be pure if he is forced to sin?
He is a dead living *****
Waiting for his time to rot
He'll stand still and the world will continue running
He's here
All of you looking down on him
He's inanimate
His eyes shut by shy hands
And multiple hands and lips
close to pray.
Many feet follow in unison.
Pay their respects.
Then leave in scattered steps.
Everything in death.
May be in comparison.
Kiss him goodbye.
Promise him he won't fade from your mind.
Cause senselessly
He fought
He died
Now he wishes his family could forget

Lets start somewhere new
or somewhere old where its long since we've been to.
Let it be where the lightest bright is ever lasting.
and the night is dawning, dawning but never coming.
We'll tread our luggage and our empty shells to find new stories for the telling
Kiss the road and wish it for safe traveling.
We'll leave old hopes and mistakes to rot
that had pain us through which a time we had fought.
Though unknowning of the sights to see
Excitement is growing, growing deep with glee.

Stop looking, maybe try harder and you'll stop looking
You're right in front of you but you always look through
Right on through and you forget about yourself
Leave yourself to handle all the messes and all the lies
They pile right on top of each other and breed up the flies

Oh, child what is wrong with a little commitment?
Stop running, slow down a bit and you'll stop running
You make yourself, you break you down
To the bare and naked truth, you'll find yourself out
And you'll learn that there isn't always time to pout

There will be moments to thrive from the fall
Stop changing, be who you are and you'll stop changing
To edge of the world you'll stand and look over
And you'll see that it goes round and round
You'll never escape it just dance to its sound

Stop fighting, put down your weapons and maybe you'll stop fighting
Why is there a need for you to make enemies?
The power is dangerous once you've achieved it
You’ll seek it, it’ll destroy you; it’s the inevitable truth
Before you know it, it's got a hold of all your youth

Well if you're dead on your feet,
untie it from the ground.
Swimming in deep oceans of solitude,
drown just hearing the sound.
I found you caught adrift in the open sea.
Eyes like cold winter noses,
crimson and sunken like dead roses.
Could you spare a story for me?
Tell me,
Tell me.
Where did you come from,
and where do you belong?
But you must not understand me.
For your world is not where I am from.
but here to my world you come.
Is it finally that we've become a part of the universe?
Has our race of this carbon make up woe your being?
Such questions.
Only your answers to make peace for me.
But our tongues crash as they begin to speak.
Though your words are not so clear.
Mine do not bring fear.
I promise you so that these eyes are quite sincere.
Now hold out your hand,
bring it forth to mine
and I will show you the warmth of which we have eyes for.

I'll have to make you
Or politely invite you.
I never do the second one first
I'm impatient, I'm kind in low degrees
Shapeless and intangible
Mold me with your words
I can fill your pores
Take you on a trip you'll never ask for
More of me in your cup
I am full and I will bring you what you need
You're simple pure and with core
I will darken your waters
Tempt your soul, cross over
Your desires, your truths they melt together
In this world of forever never
In a universe of forever ever

Now was it worth the wait?
Drifting in that killing time.
When you didn't know where to be
Not even a place to stand
Or where to go
To be with someone you didn't quite know
Holding hands under kerosine lamps
Smiling a grin bigger than any light
Down streets growing with life
Time frozen it seems like

Now is this worth your time?
Floating in that love wine?
Still confused about who you are
And if this is real
Now with someone who's still the same
Putting a ring on the finger of your hand
Wanting to share the same name
Time's to blame

You say it's been quite the wait
Been swimming, waiting for the sunshine
Sea of love still swallowing you up
Still with that special someone whose stayed by your side
Under a roof you can call a home
Now with kids all of your own
Time still keeping you young
Baby, time's won

The world is my beautiful prison, it's locks of untimely beauty,
It's bars of branches and cemented pathways, darkness never really comes, street lights pave the way
This kingdom reigns; it's a system engrained into every new child
Living into the wild discovery of traps and deceit pulled in by sensational waves, appeal of aesthetics and energy burning along the sensory nerves of an *****
We don't escape this shell; always coming back new in despair and mystery
Living through misery and pain
And stripped down to the very basics of what a soul can be
In this damning biological body
Our spirit continues to stay mortal
Are we ready to be let outside?
it's been too long, it's been such a long time; let the memories come home.

Sorry I was too cold too barren too early too young
Now I've got me an ice gun
Apologies for you being too angry too chaotic too quick too soon
You don’t make sense
Never did the stories but time well spent
Sorry I was too impatient too outspoken
Apologies for you never listening and always understanding
Gratitude for you who learned neither the sun nor the earth was the center much too late
Condolence for you who learned not to share and became too greedy
Sorry I became lonely
Sorry I made fake
Sorry I wasn’t happy
Sorry I’m not very sorry
I keep apologizing but I’m not acting truthfully
Sadness and anger and joyous for wordplay
Too human not enough animal
Too complex not enough basics
Tell me this and I’ll ask you to think about that
You said sorry you’re were too philosophical too sympathetic too much too often
I replied don’t worry you’re exactly who I thought you would be
Too self centered too filthy and too rich
Uncaring and relentless too powerful and never the switch
I asked for equality but you said you were sorry that goal is too out of reach
Too futuristic too immoral never to be enough
That that work be left for God it is too pure and too good
Humans possess all the evil and no just so there can never be peace
So tell me when does torture become too inhumane?
Too much pain and never enough questions or answers to give
Answer me not with black tongue but truth and honesty.
I am not a child once was though still deserving of maturity
But you never gave me any said I was too innocent still blossoming
Fed me lies about people I needed faith to believe in
Sorry I was too smart too witty to follow in your steps
Apologies for putting this burden, these words to your chest

It is in that spending time that that particular experience comes around the bend that wakes an ability or transforms the self to a higher state of understanding; no longer blinded by casted veils of tyrants and rulers. Awake to all the atrocities that is human made. And only by collective conscious awakening shall the walls of the kingdom be open to all. Spread on positive word. Spread on love of who you are. There is no real freedom until we all are free of this social class construct. Life cannot flourish with a leech tightly attached to the divided heart. Make whole. Journey to completion. Be ever growing.

I lost my sanity to you.
Nothing that I could remember
Would restore me to the boy I once were
and bestow to me again my baneful innocence.

My mind was lost to you.
Something I remembered the other day about that day
Though it was much too late
and I never was your preference, my, what ignorance.

You robbed me of a ***** here
And bolts and hinges from every inch of tiny little squares
You stole away, wrote yourself off
and sweetheart, you rebuilt me
I was never more free.

The girl, she smiles from ear to ear
Got nothing on her mind
Except the time on her feet
Every step another embrace
With life
With earth
And her heart

put your fingers in her ear and tell her to stop listening,
just watch.
put her in front of the mirror and tell her to stop watching,
just listen.
she hears the anger pour from her mouth
and witnesses the lines she creates when she puts on that frown.
she listens for the silence but the quiet is out.
she looks at the reflection to a face full of doubts.
turn her around,
she starts at it again.
turn her upside down
and let the blood pour out of her head.
she screams and screeches until her voice goes mute
and she's kicking and punching until she tires herself out.
now she lies there,
sweet and innocent,
calm and collected.
you stay silent.
you stay courteous and respectful.
she'll do her worst,
but she'll drain it all out.
don't use force.
don't use words.
stand and listen.
watch and learn.
for you know her worse but love her best.