please don’t tell me you will love me forever
please don’t promise me the world
please don’t tell me my eyes are like the stars
please don’t call me yours
you will break my heart little by little
because their is no such thing as soulmates
and no plan for escape
and despite the sincerity in your eyes
they’re all lies
so i will not tell you i will love you forever
i will not promise you the world
i will not tell you your eyes are like the stars
and i will not call you mine
and when you leave
maybe it won’t break my heart

love is not giving and taking in equal parts
it is not a favour for a favour
i owe you nothing
love is not loving on monday, hating on tuesday, and loving on wednesday
love is not touching because you will leave if i do not
love is not manipulating or controlling
love is especially not a forgive, forget, and repeat
love is not

what would you know about love?

well i know it’s supposed to hurt

                               but not like this

i constantly wish to myself
that i was as brave as the rain
as brave as the rain
as they weren’t afraid to
fall

they'll check your wrists,
but not your thighs

i have these moments where i just can’t imagine a future for myself
i lay in bed
lights off
candle lit
calm music playing
oversized t-shirt
no pants
soft blanket thrown over me
too many ******* pillows
staring at the ceiling
with nothing but this feeling like there’s no reason to go on
the future that i can’t see for myself? it’s coming and i don’t have to be a part of it
i can’t even imagine myself in it
i want everything to stop
i just want everything to ******* stop
so i sit for awhile
thinking of the ways i could do it
i come so close to it
i can feel the razor on my wrists
i can feel the pills in my hand
i think about my friends
and my family
i’m not going to lie and say they won’t miss me
i’m not going to lie and say they won’t be sad
i’m not going to lie and say it won’t hurt them
but i just can’t deal with this hurt anymore
and i need it to stop
so i sit there in my bed
just starting at the ceiling like i always do
unable to imagine a future for myself
or even want one