My burden is heavy;
My soul, it tires,
As I'm forced to march
Through these hellfires.
How much I long
To let all go
And float to a heaven
I have yet to know

When ever I think of you, which is all the time,
my breath gets caught up in an invisible barrier.
I  j u s t  c a n n o t  BREATH!
My body freezes and I have to hold onto the closest,
steady surface for support until my breathing pattern returns
back to normal.
Christ! I think you literally take my breath away!

Next thing I know, as my mind wonders from one thought
of you to another, my heart beat races and slows down, races
and slows down. It's completely irregular just like my breathing,
I feel blood gushing to my face, I'm blushing, then suddenly
I'm pale, as if all life is drained out of me I can hardly feel the
rhythm of my own pulse. Now when I come to think of it,
I guess this is you making my heart skip a beat!

I am caught up between memories and hopes, so very detached
from the reality, I'm laughing and crying at the same time,
and I have no words to describe how I feel or what I feel. It's as if
you've opened a portal to my soul from where words flow along with
a giant avalanche of raving emotions, it actually hurts 'cause I
wonder if you know, if you feel at all, I'm here, you're there,
nothing makes sense, it's just not fair...

Sometimes I tell myself that I am normal.
Sometimes I tell myself that I am not.
Sometimes I could drown within the contents of that needle.
I wonder at what time do things work out
I wonder how many hits or how many highs
Could help me arrive to the place of no doubt.
That is my destination, but traveling never seems to cease.
The ceiling over my resting place
Will tell you secrets, if you just remember to say, "please."
Because so often in this world, we just take
We take from whatever is there, when there's nothing even to give.
We have assuredly erased the word "keepsake"
So if you do remember to ask before you assume
If you know that good things come to those who wait
Go with a question and ask the ceiling in my room.
Ask it for the needle or the tears on my pillow
But brace yourself, "Ignorance is bliss."
Some secrets can pierce, like an arrow.
Ask the ceiling for me, if you would
Because I should like to know about myself
All the things I never understood.
My ceiling has seen me, no doubt
The naked me, in the purest sense,
That will ever come about.
Sometimes I wonder just what it would say
"Oh that girl? She lies awake every night.
The edges of her mind have begun to fray."
Or maybe something quite different,
Maybe something like, "Sometimes,
She is very quite brilliant."
I wonder if it might speak with a british voice
For I imagine it does, but watch, it's probably harsh
It probably has no choice.
Sometimes I act like the ceiling cannot speak
Or other times I simply know it can't
But when I believe it can, it makes my knees weak.
But please, I beg of you, If you can
Tell my ceiling to hide the needle
Because my skin is tired of being the doorman
For my brain, my skin would rather be
Wholesome and healed,
The bodyguard to protect my immunity.
And If you happen to get the chance
Throw a wink at mirror
For it never gets more than a glance.
Don't bother to go to my room at all
If you can save yourself the trouble
There's nothing there at all.
The ceiling won't talk.
The pillow has no tears.
There is no needle.
There is no room.
In fact, there is no "she."
Only sometimes,
In my mind,
Are there even words
To define me.

There is a boy staring at a glass wall
looking at a girl
her eyes and smile makes his heart go wild
There is a girl staring at a glass wall
looking back at the boy
his beauty catches  her heart by surprise
They are in love but can not be together
because the glass wall will not shatter
like their parents hatred for each other
day after day they look at each other
yearning to feel the other
skin for skin, lips for lips
their hearts never miss a beat
soon pain of separation comes
it nips at their hearts
it is too  much to bear
but they stay by the wall and stare
then the boy pull out a gun
starts to shoot the glass wall
bullets prove to be no match for it
the girl grabs a bat thinking smashing it will match
the glass wall still will not come down
they are not a match for it
the glass wall is just to strong
there is only one thing that can beat it
where they finally can be at peace
death is where they can meet and be free
two shots are heard
with dripping next
the lovers die and meet
in the beautiful world
of the next

I speak life
To the people
On the earth.
I speak life
To the people
Through their trials
I speak life
To the people
In the dark
The people
On the brink
Who are hurting
Everyone
Who is hurting
Who is lost
Lost in their souls
Captive to their minds
I speak life
And healing
Light and strength
To all who need it
You can make it
We need each other
I speak life into
Your soul
You are too
Important
Too lovely
Too beautiful
Too bright
To let your spirit die

Who am I?
I'm a messed up girl who tries way too hard.
I' m impulsive, moody, and really insecure.
I don't trust very easily, and I always think I'm about to lose someone.
I always see my flaws, and sometimes make them up.
I'll never think my stomach is small enough, or my smile is pretty enough, but I still manage to get one on my face.
I whine and complain, this is true.
Jealousy is my mortal enemy, along the few on my unfavorable list. Yes, I'm sure we all have a mental list of those who did us wrong.
I always want to make everyone happy, but I always think I'm just bothering them.
I'm shy underneath all these attempts to make you think otherwise. Being outgoing doesn't mean you're confident, and doesn't mean you're not shy.
I love with everything I've got.
When I fall, I fall hard, in a metaphorical and literal way. I'm quite a clumsy girl. Can't go a day without walking into some.
I'll make you angry, but I'll make you happy too.
You may want to just scream your head off at me, but I can also make you laugh.
Don't give up on me please, cause I'm still trying not to give up on myself.
I get really nervous at times. Full on panic attacks at others.
I'm extremely indecisive. I get distracted easily sometimes.
But I’m also a good listener, and will be here whenever advice is needed.
I hate being alone, afraid of it even. Sometimes I think it's fate though.
I’m rarely an open book, very hard to understand. I so badly wish to be understood though.
I’m scared of showing emotions, because experience has shown me they’re just no good to have.

In the end, I'm clearly imperfect.
But I'm working on it.

One day I might be strong
One day I may be graceful
One day I might just learn to breathe, let go and move on
One day I might not fear being alone so much, just because I know I can handle it
Yes I still hope someone will be there, by my side, someone who knows how much I've tried, changed and overcome.

Someday, I'd like to show you the girl I can be, instead of telling you about the girl I want to be.

My head rests against the same soft, familiar pillow.
My eyes are hidden by the same familiar silk mask.
I pull the same familiar ,warm, embracing blankets.
And I dream the same familiar dreams.

I’m walking down a path.
Not secluded, but very natural.
Trees are twinkling in the pure sunlight from the early morning dew.
The field is shining, bathing in the sun’s perfect warmth
Superb beauty is around.
As I walk along I grab a hand.

A safe hand, one that belongs to my protector.
His pace slows to keep by my side, though his steps could take him double the length of mine.
We continue our adventure

I listen to the birds singing, screaming words of twitterpation.
I see a small ball of red fluff. This young bird catches my attention
As it floats to a branch not far away, it lands next to another bird, one with a more subdued color.
Their eyes meet and the one that I spotted before drifts slowly in the air.
It appears now that it’s a male, explaining his radiant coat
It starts to hover in the air with strong, fluid motions.
The eyes of these two creatures never look away from each other
The flying dance stops.
Suddenly the two fly away together.
I understand now.
It was a courtship dance.
A sign of love.
These two will never part now.
It’s sealed in the eyes of these woods. Of nature. Of beauty. Of perfection. Of Heaven.
I only wish my protector makes such a gesture towards me.
We continue walking.

A little while later we stop to rest upon a few large boulders.
Eroded to flawless rotundity.
They’re grey, but far from boring, because when I look harder I see that the minerals sparkle ever
so subtly in the light.
Beauty in the smallest way.
The day starts to grow dark.
A blackness takes over, interrupted when the moon fully rises and the starts come out from
hiding.
Without warning a burst of lightning fills the space around us.

The time is approaching
The time is near
The time is now
The time is upon us
The time is hear
Change is coming
The storm is upon us
Trouble is on
The horizon
There is also healing
People are changing
The world is becoming
More chaotic
More insane
Every minute
Its easy to get caught
Caught in the storm
With no way out
But through the trials
And the pain
People are seeing the truth
People are coming to the light
Accepting old truths
Accepting love
And the healing it can bring

Life gets better
You have to believe
Have faith in the storm
Even as deep as the darkness
Things will get better
Persevere
The storm
Has an
End