There’s a lady in the Methodist Church swears she’s Elva
She’s the lady that gives out the Wagon Wheels and the Tea
There’s a lady in the Methodist Church swears she’s Elva
And to Elva I’d like to thank her from me.

To Elva we give a cheer she’s a fantastic Volunteer
With tea, and biscuits, and wagon wheels.
To Elva it is no big deal

There’s a lady in the Methodist Church swears she’s Elva
She’s the lady with the wagon wheels and tea.
There's a lady in the Methodist Church swears she’s Elva
And maybe she should receive the OBE

To Elva we thank you for your time you give. We are the befrienders boys James, Martin, Jo, Mark, Garth, and Me
And you make such a beautiful cup of tea

There’s a lady in the Methodist church swears she’s Elva
She the lady with the Wagon Wheels and Tea
There’s a lady in the Methodist Church swears she’s Elva
And to Elva you fill our hearts with glee

And from the Befrienders Boys We’d just like to say
Thank you for the Wagon Wheels today
Thank you for the Tea, and The Coffee,
and the time that you give

I’m praying to the lord
I hope he answered my prayers tonight
He dosen’t then I’m ******



The End

As I walk through the Poppy Fields
Watching the Red Flower glow
I pause, and reflect, on the men that fell
Men I didn’t even know.

Loved ones from a different time.
Taken from us in their prime
Bodies lying dead strewed all around
The grave stones of people from all different towns.

In the Poppy fields as I ponder
I sit and think and often wonder
What might have been all those

The Queen has style
The Queen has grace
And a beautiful smile
on her lovely face

The Queen is the monarch
that wears a crown
Her face on the money
never wears a frown

The Queen is noble
The Queen is Fair
When she speaks
Posh Words hit the air

Her majesty on high
she sits looking down
on her kingdom
wearing a golden crown

People say let’s get rid of the monarch
So what do you replace it with
An elected President who has no say
Well Mr President I say no way

The Queen is the Queen
She will not be removed
God Save The Queen
She has nothing to Prove

God Save The Queen

There once was a woman called Ange
She was diagnosed with the Mange
She began to whinge cos it was round her *****
That was the end of old Ange

The spoken word is quite absurd
the unspoken truth is seldom heard
What people believe is neither here nor there
even if it's wrong they do not care
Fingers point the word spreads
from people who think that they're main heads
They're faggerts & maggerts with **** for brains
with beautiful houses & blocked up drains

The spoken word is there again
& it follows you round like a nagging pain
That is the spoken word
The spoken word is quite absurd
the unspoken truth is seldom heard
The forbidden law is never seen
the unwritten law is quite obscene
The facts are there people do not care
they're right when they're wrong so there
That is the spoken word





THE END

The Towering Inferno was burning bright In the London sky at the dead of night. Voices Ignored for raising concerns people helpless as the fire burns.

The Towering Inferno was an absolute shame, someone somewhere is definitely to blame. People scream as they burn to death Or choking on smoke taking their final breath.

The Towering Inferno was an absolute disgrace they were told they'd be safe if they stayed in their place. Children, Pensioners from different races horrified looks on terrified Faces.

The Towering Inferno was burning bright In the London sky at the dead of night Burning flesh of people alive how did people manage to survive?

The Towering inferno was burning bright in the London sky at the dead of night. The screams of people filled the air the Politicians didn't really care.

The Towering Inferno was burning bright in the London sky at the dead of night. Innocent People aware of the threat beautiful people that we will never ever forget.

The Towering Inferno was burning bright in the London sky at the dead of night. The emergency services arrive on the scene. So does Prince William And her Majesty the Queen.

The Towering Inferno was burning bright in the London sky at the dead of night. Teresa May was an arrogant old cow people don't know what the future holds now. The Towering Inferno was burning bright. now they have managed to extinguish its light.
RIP

In no man's land where many fell…
the enemy would fire the guns of hell
The soldiers had no choice but to fight
night and day. day and night.


Many fell injured or dying
many more were sat there crying
a soldier writes home to tell of the horror
his hand shakes amidst all the squalor.


Close friends signed up together
on the battlefield they died for ever
Many more were shot for deserting
the Pain the Sorrow the soldiers were hurting

The End

As I walk through the Valley of Life.
I look around and think things are alright.
With a smile on my face I just  keep on Walking,
I hear a voice of someone talking.

As I walk through the Valley of sin.
I see people's lives thrown in the bin.
discarded like they didn't exist.
Someone's hoping they won't be missed.

As I walk through the Valley of death.
As I take my final breath
I hear a voice from a distant past.
it says he's here at last.
With a tear in my eye and a sombre look on my face
I say to myself get me out of this place.


THE END

I’m Steven & I remember a time
When I was in my prime
And a time when…. Well that was then..
I'm the Muppet, the joker,
the ******* the fool.
I was The kid that got picked on at school

I have seen things that have disturbed me
you know made me cry
I have seen things that would make a lesser man die
I’ve cried
I’ve tried
I've tried to commit suicide
I was diagnosed with PTSD
Where will that take me
Well we will see

I don't drink beer
Or smoke ***
I don’t  take crack
I ended up at Back on Track
I hope to achieve the chance of a job
And show all those muppets
I'm not a ****,
I'm worth it
I'm worth the investment
I'm worth the time

This is me and I'm Steven and I’m in my prime






THE END

He thought about it
but never did it
She did it
but never thought about it

Time is the hourglass, the day and the night.
Time is the infinite, the dark & the light

Time is existence you cannot reverse
Time is precious what could be worse

Time is the constant, the here, and the now.
Time is The past, the present, the future endow

Time is the Clocks on the wall
Tic tock tic tock
Time is The old man who knows it all

Time is the Zodiac like the Yin and the yang
Time is the space where the travelers hang

Time is the 24 hours in a day
Time is the history that won't go away

Time is short, time is long
time is right  Time is wrong

Time goes quick time goes slow
Time can stop time can go

Time is the essence that waits for no man
Time is the Greenwich and the meridian

Time is the second the minute the hour.
Time is the gong in the bell tower

Time is the Chronos the god with the scythe
Time is the woman who gave birth to life



Time is here there and everywhere


  The End

Tony Carothers had no brothers
Tony Carothers was free
If Tony Carothers  had no brothers
then who the hell is he

Tony Carothers  new some others
With the same name as him
Tony Carothers and the others new
That he couldn't swim

Tony Carothers Died with the others
And now they are free of sin
Tony Carothers along with the others
Went to heaven in a corned beef tin

The chainsaw in the shed
The tools left on the workshop floor
The work is nearly done


The End

Well here I am again waiting at the bus stop. Waiting for the bus into the city centre.

Oh look there’s old Annie. Shotgun Annie they call her you don’t want to cross that old *******. (SHOUT) Annie You Old ******* where’s you ******* shotgun. You going to have a go at my kids again for playing football You ******* old *******. They call her shotgun because she a ******* psychopath.

Oh look there’s Twit & **** always arguing, arguing about nothing (SHOUT) Alright Twit & ****. They hate me calling them that. Twit is a Little woman who likes a drink A wears that stupid ******* bobby hat. I want rip off her ******* head. **** He’s a big fat **** a wooly back from the wirrall. Could do with a hair wash (SHOUT) Oy **** get your ******* hair washed you scruffy *******. I wish this ******* bus would hurry up. I better make sure I have got my pass because. I aint got any money. Where the **** is this ******* bus.

Oh look there’s lanky if you lean on him you’ll cut yourself. What a skinny ******* it looks like he could do with a good feed. He wears those big thick bottle rimmed glasses. (SHOUT) Oy Lanky you specky ******* because you get two pairs of glasses for the price of one your not supposed to wear them at the same time you know. He got done once for fiddling the social. He Got Caught he was working has Bouncer at night and teaching Karate in the day and claiming sickness Benefit. It was on the news and in the papers The headline read Lanky. the Karate Kidder.

Where is this ******* bus. Mind you I can’t talk I am Bald, Deaf, and totally ******* stupid. You know what **** it I’ll get the train.

We are Manchester. The City, The place, we’re hospitable people with a smile on our face. You can beat us, mistreat us, and blow us to hell. We have had it all before and we don’t dwell. We’re the northern powerhouse of the northwestern elite, Where the Geordie's, The Scousers, The Yorkshire’s retreat. The premier League, The Roses Cricket, The Heineken Cup Is a one way ticket. United and City two football teams with stadiums full, bursting at the seams.

We are Mancunians Of this fair City, The People, The Love, The old nitty gritty The worker, The Shirker, The Homeless, The immigrants, each one of these they are all itinerants. The Steel, The Cotton, long since forgotten the old smokey chimneys blew out smoke that was rotten. The Massacre at Peterloo. Local politicians just don’t have a clue. With all the sights this city has on show here’s something that people don’t really know. Manchester is where New Zealand Born Ernest Rutherford split the Atom.

We Are Manchester, The City, the Place, where Sir Humphrey Chetham has his musical grace a school of music with musical taste. And where a  man with a paintbrush painted streets on boxes. I don’t think Lowry ever painted foxes. And A comedian from Collyhurst who was absolutely awesome, a real funny guy by the name of Les Dawson, and where a man from Chorlton on Medlock became Prime Minister back in the day. David Lloyd-George had a hell of  a lot to say.

We Are Manchester and it's the place for me. And a proud Mancunian I’m glad to be. I’ll sit in a cafe watching people pass by. They are all in a hurry and I wonder why. I see a business man in a three piece suit, and the homeless guy that is counting his loot. There's the ******* the street giving out free papers she is smoking those ciggies that give off those vapours. It's pouring with rain and she’s getting wet she’s worried about money to pay off her debt.

We Are Manchester and this is our City don’t waste your time we don’t want no pity. We are Manchester we are steeped in tradition we leave other cities standing. There’s no competition. Where A man from Moss Side a Vicar not a Dean called Rev George Garrett invented the submarine. And where the great Anthony Wilson was a journalist & impresario and a man named John  Nichols invented the great drink called Vimto. and so When he wrote “This Is the Place” I’m sure he did so with a smile on his face. We Are Manchester and I’ll state our case because we are Manchester and we are ace.

Why would I walk alone
Why would I walk on my own
Why would I listen to you
Someone who knows nothing,
That much is true.

Why would I breath the air
Why would I not seem to care.
Why would I get on the bus
When there are people
That make a fuss.

Why should I walk alone.
Why should I walk on my own
Why should I listen to you
Everything you say
I know is true.

Why should I breath the air
why should I even care
Why should I get on the bus
Who cares if people make a fuss.

Why….because I have too that's why.

You touched our hearts we made the change
When you died, it felt so strange
It felt like something was just ripped apart
You don't know how much you touched my heart
    
You touched our hearts in so many ways
We changed our minds we counted the days
We live our lives in so many ways
We all made mistakes but who really pays

We heard a voice we saw the light
The voice was saying everything's alright
The love we had was all for you
You touched our hearts if only you knew

You made us see so differently in the world
we live & the people we see
Now you have gone what we can do
Life goes on that much is true

You touched my heart I send you my love
from me to you in heaven above
We go to church we kneel & pray
We pray to the lord & words cannot say

We see the things that you have done
You touched our hearts
our lives have just begun
You'll be sadly missed we've got to see

we'll carry your name to eternity
Goodbye farewell people come & go
& if only their love they would show
You touched our hearts that much is true
we shed a tear & we love you