In the depths of this despair,
Comes a glimmer of shinning hope,
As memories floor that emptiness,
And feelings gather, hard to cope.
The cold hardness softens,
And love bubbles gently afloat,
As ticking clocks start to stop,
Through years of lost notes.
"A cheeky little smile",
That's what you wrote,
As we sat there apart,
Easily your best quote.
But those days have gone,
All seem so now remote,
As I say goodbye to those memories,
A lump in my throat.

If thou could see the monster in me,
then they would run a thousand miles,
they would flee.
But what is the monster, than that of myself,
Of the tired fleating heart that longs for lust,
Nothing like himself.
If thou could see the love i bear thee,
then they would run a thousand miles,
they would flee
But what is love to those who i seek,
of the tires fleating heart that longs for lust,
nothing like himself

But no more shall they run or flee,
for they shall realise their mistake,
and thou will love me

The double decker bus rolled across the road,
sweaping around the bend at an alarming angle.
I leapt from my seat and flew across the floor,
sliding to a hault amidst laughter and cheers.

That journey sent me spiralling into danger at work,
almost slipping on clowns bannana's and custard pies.
They always seem to have the last laugh I think,
whilst I step out of my big shoes into the arena.

The rush of wind blew overhead as they walked,
throwing themselves into open hands, ready to catch.
I tried that once a long time ago when I was stupid,
but even I needn't tell you the unfortunate outcome.

Leaving them in the hands of fate I wandered willingly,
to the only place where wildness couldn't be contained.
The place I worked day in, day out, through good and bad,
shifting the dirt of the ones who shine the brightest in the circus.

One last chance to smell the rose,
That rose you gave me on my birthday

One last chance to see the snow,
That snow which we made snow-angles in

One last chance to feel the water,
That water which we leaped into together

One last chance to hear the wind,
That wind which blew your hat away

One last change to touch that falling star
That star which you captured in my heart

One last change to be with you
That I wouldn’t miss for the world

Time can fly so freely when the bird tweets 'Hello',
Even then it crawls along like the snail on a bad day
But can always find it's was home even through the clouds.

I wait for yet the time to come when I sing my own song,
Nothing comes from within as yet, but my heart soars itself
As if the bird were to be inside me alone through the rain.

But yet I still wait here for the snail to quicken, faster,
But there it stays, now it doesnt come,
Another day, another year.....

Walking, Sleeping, Eating, Drinking, Thinking,
Always thinking, thinking of life
I walked across the bay
I walked across the street
I walked across the harbour
I walked across the sea
I paused for thought, this isn’t me.
I walked back across the sea
I walked back across the harbour
I walked back across the street
I walked back across the bay
I walked back into me
Now I am always thinking, always walking
Just walking

Another year has come and gone,
Your also year older (but don't tell anyone).
Take what is past and throw it to the wind,
What's done is done, a new cycle begins.
Embrace each moment with a hidden gem inside,
As in days to come who knows what you might find.
Although some storms may blow,
And fires may go out,
You hold the key now,
So never shut it out.

At last the summer sun had disappeared, brining darkness.
The rats could sense excitement in the air amongst the cold hearts,
Rushing to their hiding place under the sewers for safety.
Moving beyond the shadows for the first time in hours
Soothed the stressed feeder, breathing in the cool air.
A different smell lingered in the air this night, a sweeter smell,
One of roses and blood; the next feast for his parched lips.
Silently he strode, out into the night-time fever,
Prowling amidst his prey, seeking the weakest out.
At last he spots her, walking under a empty streetlight,
Swaying with the flow of the blood round her veins.
The tight red corset brought forth the lustful hunger within him,
Threading its evil through the darkness of his black, bloodless soul.
One swift movement brought him into her grasp, clutching at her,
Embracing the warmth of the living kind, chocking her lifeless.
The piercing knifes sliced the bloodstream; flowed freely out,
Into the dying human, cursed forever to be the nightmare.
A shout is heard. Turning, quickly fleeing, he fly’s of into the dark,
Leaving the body to fall under the red moonlight

one final push was all it took,
to turn that twisted key,
that unlocks the hole that i now jump into,
bottomless to eternity

A velvet cloth covered the damage,
smooth and fitted,
hiding the truth over everything.
The leaves rustled on the wall,
long and unbroken,
hiding the truth behind everything.
A quick sweep stored the damage,
sharp and ugly,
hiding the truth under everything.
But for the inside damage,
unforgiving and unjust,
hiding the truth under the cloth,
the velvet cloth you gave me.

Can I help you with that?
No, I'm fine thank you.

You don't look very fine, are you ok?
No, I'm fine thank you.

Well this weather's a bit rough, want a coffee?
No, I'm fine thank you.

Thought for a moment.....
Well if you insist......

To think is a gift of the Gods true,
but what is that now that your cold and blue.
Its safe they said, or so I thought,
but now I know better than to trust what I'm taught.
A wrong choice, which only would have been a mark,
but now thats a life, straight through the heart.

Minds of worlds crash and spin,
distorting the believe of truth.
Right is Left to the wrong of choice,
depicting the hieroglyphics of fate.
A spider is wrong, yet the fire is right,
turn the gun, and choose, left or right?

Bleak sun cowers behind clouds,
Shadowing the light of hope.
Nothing could stop it, nothing can hate it,
Only watch through the stained windows

The blue bottled fly flew trhough the window,
Just as the yellow flat swatter swung home.
The swatted fly lay gasping the fruitless air,
But chocked the lifeless cough almost at once.

I cannot help but wonder,
why am i here?
To do this task a million times,
for god knows how many years!
I cannot help but wonder,
as i sit and think aloud.
Why on earth did i join up,
to be abused and cursed in a muddled crowd.
I cannot help but wonder,
why do you abuse me so?
When all i do, is do as you ask,
yet you make me stoop so low.
And now i sit here and wonder, and no longer wonder aloud,
And watch my thoughts turn to stone, as i disappear into the crowd.

Chains could not hold down the pride which filled in
Through the open bars of my cell.
Darkness could not smother the thickening sounds
Of silence, still and deadly
A moving shadow dared to oppress me of my
Breath, my last breath
I scream the last of my heart,
One cough silenced the sickening tongue,
The head flopped to one side, cold, then still
The scream filled the room, even the barred windows
Could not stop the scream from escaping.

I cant do it!
I wont do it!
I'll never do it!
Why cant i do it,
I can do everything else?

I can stand up to someone else,
I can stand up for what i believe,
I can stand up to entertain,
I can stand up for power,
But for love, i cant stand up.
I must sit down.

Merry Christmas one and all,
I hope you all have a ball.
Enjoy the spirit of festive cheer,
That only comes once a year.
And so now switch on your tree lights,
As soon it will again be night.
Do not overindulge on the turkey this year,
Think of the extra weight you've to clear.
Open your gifts, all special to you,
As you are very special too.
I hope all your wishes and dreams come true,
But for now, I bid you all adieu.

I kept on watching the clock,
Waiting for that time to come,
Sitting in that sweet disirable room,
Hoping the end would sooner than later.
I could see the birds flying by,
The wind catching under their wings,
Soaring above the window ledge,
Casting long shadows over ground.
I wished the time to fly away too,
That friends could talk and chat again,
Gossiping the break from the work,
Always happy, always smiling.
I said something to myself,
On which strict ears heard,
And now I watch my friends joy,
From the top window.

An ice sheet froze over the deserted waste-land,
Empty from warmth, an ice palace of cold.
The long road through this land lied empty,
No traffic for miles, not a single sound.
Water fell from the Heavens, drowing all life,
Smoothering the last breath from their frozen bodies.
Only the toughest could survive there,
But even they have turned to nothing.

Wandering through the thicker leaves,
Hoping the sun will break through,
Following the trail of weaving gold,
Slithering low under the waves of wood.
Splintered lines crack the rich pureness,
Fading into the dirt of solitude slumber,
Until standing in the darkness of hell
I see the bottom of the blackness inside my own head.

Ouch my heart, it hurts so much
this past week, always hurts.
Maybe something i've done has
Caused this, possibly all that running.
No, too much pain, something more
Than that, something more important.
Oh why can't I think straight,
I need to remeber, I want to remember.

Oh, now I know, that pain,
That throb, that pull, that stab.
That loss.
Loss of love.
Loss of life.
Loss of the will to live.

Grasping hold of the glass i watched the night clock off,
Draining the paper held within my fingers,
Slipping down my throat till the tide had long gone out,
Feet tapping along with the throbing of the night.
I sit there observing that figure of male perfection,
Happy and cheerful, dancing this memorable night away,
And I stand, lowering my glass, stumble my way towards him,
Where he notices me finally, I smile, he smiles too.
I sway with him, and the others, always looking into the depths,
Losing my mind, feeling lighter than the balloons that hang freely,
And I think an uncontrolable thought, to reach out to him,
But as the moment passes, I swig another mouthful, and everything fades into nothingness.

The emptiness of the page can grow far and wide.
As far as the road grows further away from home.
That sweet air that only freedom knows.
The battering weather a fruitful reminder of home.
Echoing hollowness in my chest, reminders of longing.
Home. A place of peace. A place where you live.

If I could show my love for you,
It would last for years to come.

To show the love for you I give,
The whole of the summer sun.

I choose to stay silent and still,
For fear of dogs to bark.

Please don't let this sunshine fade,
I'm afraid of the dark.

A million more miles couldn't fill this space I feel.
Alone, cold, and afraid. I miss you.
It seems like another year passes by instead of a day before I see you again.
Counting down those long nights, that restless sleep.
If I could cross the space of the Earth for you I would.
I would never not do anything for you.
No matter how many brick walls I hurl too,
No matter how many drinks to sleep I must swallow,
I miss you. And await the long day to see you once more.

After all this time of me picking up the pieces,
I'm still standing!
After all this time of me taking your anger,
I'm still standing!
After all this time of me feeding your love,
I'm still standing!
After all this time of me waking your demon,
I'm still standing!
After all this time of me fleeing you,
For that, I cannot remain standing.

What is time to those who wait for it to finish,
from the clicking of the clock
to the clocking off from a shift,
only time can tell, but it doesn't wait for me.

The power of time are all around us everywhere,
from the time of steam and coal
to the power of a few atoms,
only times shows power, but it doesn't wait for me

Sounds of time can always be heard everywhere,
from the creeks and goans of old bridges
to the outcrys of the flocking birds,
only time shows music, but it doesnt wait for me

Beauty in the eye of the beholder always grows everywhere,
from the nature of the water flowing over hillsides
to the imagination of a human being,
only time shows creativity, but it never waits for me

How might you be lost?
In a stream?
In a river?
Or in your own head?

Tea or Coffee?
Fish or Chips?
Left or Right?
Right or Wrong?
Salt or Pepper?
Brown or Red?
I’m so confused,
I’m lost in my head!

France or Italy?
Manchester or London?
North or East?
Atlantic or Pacific?
North or South Pole?
America or Australia?
I’m so confused,
I’m lost in my head!

How can you choose in the world?
Where everything is the same
Only different in it’s own mind?
So much choice
Too much choice
I’m so confused,
I’m lost in my head!

A deadly sin is love, so powerful and creative,
Yet so beautiful and destructive
No one can call love their own,
But only gaze at it in wonder,
And dream each night away,
Thinking of their dream lover,
Only to be ignored the next day

How much longer will I have to wait?
I keep asking myself, everyday I see him
Everyday I talk to him, yet I get nothing in return.
A smile, a kind hello, to offer him assistance with work,
But nothing else in return.
I know that I am no beauty, but that lies within,
A young man hides a mighty lion,
A young woman hides a graceful swan.

Maybe tomorrow I tell myself, maybe tomorrow
Will be a different story; a lucky day hopefully.
He’s still single, why don’t I ask him now,
Now whilst he’s still free, but I can’t now,
I’m too scared, too many people are watching,
He’ll never say yes to me, never to me,
The only time it will be yes will be in my dreams,
The only happy place, in my dreams with my lover

Snake tounges rattled and hissed words of poison mechanically,
With green-eyed monsters lurking beneath their skin,
Circling the rumours of suspicion onto those of white blood,
Like a frightened rabbit in deaths doorway to car headlights fell.
The slithering tale encapsulating innocent yet friendly ears,
Smearing their venom amongst those of lowered fighters hands,
Trickling down the innocent white hart's hands,
As though regarding herself as this murderess.

Flight of fear, fighting the dark, losing, chocking, drowning,
Yet tales of talk were not in vain, but yet they failed once again,
Smearing that of lies over white walls, black onto red,
Trapping the rabbit in the snare, as though to **** it in the shell.
My friend, would you tell the old lie? To children so high,
To fall so low, by that of snakes and their hungry green-eyes.

Oh.....sugar, I say to myself,
How on earth could I forget that?!
I know that sometimes everyone can forget,
But not something as important as this!
As now I stare at the clock, waiting for 5,
Then I can leave,
Leave before it's too late.....

.....Too late, the door opens, slam!
To stand too small or tall is an understatement,
As the wish to vanish becomes near impossible.
"Come with me", the cry says, towerings over all,
I follow, in silence, too small to say anything at all.
Through the door of doom they call it, or the office.
"How dare you think of this", the cry says,
"Ask to leave early on Valentines Day?"
What could I do, the flowers were whithered,
I didnt want to stay, nor to come hither.

So to you I give these flowers,
Old and whithered, you hate?
I'm so sorry, but lets forget that,
As you are still my mate.

If I could say to you, one,
what would that one be?
One heart for that true one,
or one brain to think for that one?

If I could say to you, two,
what would that two be?
Two eyes for that true one,
or two ears to hear for that one?

If I could say to you, three,
what would that three be?
Three years between that true one,
or three long years of waiting for that one?

The calm waters swelled around the rocks,
washing away those broken bones of Tommy.
At last I'm alone I think, once at peace
and now a tempest of rage through revenge.
He said no to my offer of peace, the one
change of the world changing hands.
But now he lies there amounst the fishes,
cold and slimy, gathering the rot of humanity.
I could of stopped him, but like i said,
he said no to my offer of peace.
Slashed and broken, a new day rises through
the mist of evening to bring the war of rage.
Now the tempest does rage so violently with
humanity of death and destruction in it's wake.

The clock in the north,
Silent and still,
Never more will it ring,
Stay still on the hill

The war is over
They shout and they cheer,
Happiness grows louder,
Nothing left to fear

But at what cost,
Are the deaths paid?
Nothing for loved ones,
They have been betrayed

Now they lie there,
In the dark, muddy ground,
Nothing to be said,
Not a single sound.

Blood for Blood,
Lies for Lies,
They all fell fighting,
Behind the enemy lines

A world of pain,
A world of suffering,
A world of death,
A world of crying

Now they must lie,
The warriors of war,
For the next great battle
The next great war

Tick, tick, tick, went the clock,
Bang, bang, bang, went my head.
Never before has the world started to spin
So violently, until I tried to stand up.

I would lie there for days on end
Just thinking of everyone else,
What they would be doing now,
What they would be saying about me.

They believe that I was perfectly fine,
Just pulling their leg to stay off from that test.
But I wasn’t fine, far from it, what they didn’t
Know was that I was dying

Four months they said in that white room,
But that was over four months ago,
Now I just have to lie and wait,
Just lie and wait for the time to come

How long till then? A month, a week,
A day, an hour, or even a minute?
But it will come sooner or later,
And I’ll be ready, ready for it to come

A bird could be heard in the garden,
tweeting it's song to the world,
that of which was listening anyway.
Everywhere else the scratching of pen to paper
was never as annoying as now, sitting in the warmth
of the inferno that was my future.
One time they asked us to sit there whilst we witnessed
the horror of a poor spider being squashed
by the books of History. Never mind.
Tick-Tock went the clock, constantly,
never moving, never changing.
Time seemed to stand still which always seemed to
make everyones live hell in that room.
Everyone waiting, hushed into panic, frantically
straining their minds to nothing, only to produce nothing

Thud, Thud.
Thud, Thud.
Thud, Thud.
Thud, Thud.

The heart could never stay calm,
Not at a time like this.
Whispers spread along the line,
Did Miss Jones just say "Good Luck"?
I dont know, I wasn't really listening.
Remeber what happens, I tell myself,
Dont look into their eyes or you'll forget.

Five minutes to go, how much more
Do I have to bear this?
Four minutes....now John Smith has
Just passed out.
Three minutes....now Emily Watson has
Just passed out too.
Two minutes....I think I might just follow suit
And join the unfortunate ones.
One mintute to go, now i can't bear
this much longer.

How much more do I have to bear this?
None
A sound is heard,
Lights suddenly brighten
Silence then follows.
My feet lead me forward,
But I can't remember a thing.
I looked into their eyes.
Wished for darkness again

Rain sprinkled lightly over the spekaled lawn,
Moping the snow from the ince fronzen lake,
Swimming the stars in the air blue breeze,
Whilst lying asunder for music to chant the birds awake.
Silly small talk echoes through the quaking stream,
Yet silent as night through the dusty panes,
Sliding through grass stained red of blood,
Sweeping over trees of life and dark.
A moments rest to follow the whispers of dreams,
They ascend higher through the life of clouds,
Whispering to the open waters of fishes amoung many,
And still it calms to peace when sun filters through.

Like the sea, the weather is unpredictable.
But sometimes, it can be told exactly to the point,
even to the time of the sun, but at a cost.
Faith is lost in those who dont get it right:
an understatement of unjustice leaves no trace.

A tempest cannot be calmed so easily as bird flies,
neither can the waves stopped pounding the distant shores.
Only the sun can brighten it's spirits.
Even that has difficulty smiling, what with man destroying
everything that created it, destroying their own lives with it.

Would you like a drink? He said.....
Yes, go on then, I said.....

Would you like a dance? He said.....
Yes, go on then, I said.....

Would you like a kiss? He said.....
Yes, deffinatly, I said.....

But then I wake up on the floor.....
.....that drink was too much I think, I said

Are you ok? He said.....
.....reaches down and holds me close.....
Yes, deffinatly, I said.....

The world is a huge place
But so much can be said and done
Like that day when we wanted cake,
But which one should we have?
We are undecided still

What different does it make to anyone
Whether the water is hot or cold, rich or poor, well or ill,
It’s what makes us unique in this world
The choices we make is what we are
Different to everyone, but all the same

The heart stopped beating,
Or so my mother said
But what does she know about the dead?

She can’t hear nor see them,
So what does she know?
Only I can hear their cries of woe

But life is still young,
Or so they say,
But for me, it is but one moment away

I can see the stars that shine,
But the clouds draw in,
And so does the end, my time wears thin

It’s over now, its over now,
I can’t feel it anymore,
So now I must go, now I will go through the door.

One man can rule over all
Rome, the greatest City of all
The Empire of the World,
Ruled by one man,
Julius Caesar

His passion for power was huge,
His empire, even bigger
But some where not so kind,
Others wished him gone,
And so they plotted,
Plotted a plan,
Plotted his assassination

The day then came,
From returning from one battle,
To be greeted back home,
Before the next great battle arrived,
But he was warned to flee
“Beware the Ides of March”
The Soothsayer said, but he didn’t listen
He continued on his route to the Senate

His wife saw blood, his own blood,
And the faces of enemies bathing in his blood
But even her wise words couldn’t persuade him
He still went to the Senate
Where the murderers were waiting
How much more did he have to endure?
Through the torment of the power struggle,
To please the Mob, or his friend?
Brutus made the choice, his choice,
The choice that changed the Empire
“Et tu Brute”, and Caesar fell

The battle determined all,
The rightful ruler over the Empire
And the traitors fell,
By their own swords

Hopeless isn't a word I would use lightly.
It's more of a let-down than a cheer-uper,
Always signaling the end, always at the end.

Go isn't a word I would use heavily.
It's more of a cheer-uper than a let-down,
Always signaling the start, always at the start.

So what word is the middle?
That space inbetween those points?
The change to change? Or the change to act?
No, that space is now, so use it heavily
or only use it ever so lightly

Dropping a glass, its nothing much to you, only pick up the pieces and no one will ever know the damage had been done

Dropping an event, its nothing much to you, only make a few phone calls and no one will ever know your presence had never been

Dropping a call, its nothing much to you, only check a friends mood and no one will ever know you told them something

Dropping a friendship, its nothing much to you, only say a few false words and pick up another tomorrow, whilst leaving the other to pick up the glass pieces, dropping the planned happy event, desperatly waiting for that call knowing that this friendship will never be fixed, so you are left, to pick up the broken pieces