I wish you only knew of the brier we planted

But your eyes are always on the stars

I watch you pluck every note from the air

So vibrant, and eager to pass the jug around

-

Think of me too, Artemis, Baste

As the coals twinkle and turn

These moments have always been yours to burn

And I am but a goat - veiled and masked

-

Home is far, but I have my thoughts

I have my brother of tune

My thanks for the smoke, Sylvan Queen

I only wish your eyes weren’t hidden

-

We were flea-bitten in the first burrow

And found gold in the next

Red cardinal be swift, I carry many gifts

But I just don’t want to be in the middle right now

i leave all the pain
         out on the counters
like ***** pots and pans

ready to be scrubbed
        clean in the sink and
put away

stacked to size
         hidden in the pantry
the bright afternoon sun

melts the icicle
         that has formed
against the house

where the coil turns
         under the eave
or, maybe i will soak them

overnight

You were the world, you were the sun.
You stood out in a green t-shirt.
Your guitar solo sounded like a possessed cat.
I was amazed, I was in awe.
How many girls are there in the world like this?
A rarity in this deadbeat town.
A warm feeling in the corner of my stomach.
A spine jolt at any word said to me, any smile given to me.

Euphoria and pleasure, molecules touching.
Twisted sheets and callused hands.
Young skin, the softest I had ever known.
Where am I, and how did I get here?
A biopic and a box-office failure comedy.
In each other’s pocket.

The moons passed, the candle flickered.
The 12-bar blues was wrong, but you could not accept.
Your pitch was all over the shop.
Tone-deaf, some would call it.
But I did not want to harm your feelings.
You’re perfect, and there’s nothing else to it.

The rains came and went, and there we were.
Perched atop a hill in a new city.
I forced good feelings into my stomach.
I wrote and wrote songs, I poured them out.
You didn’t care. You never cared about my music.
All right for you, taking on the world.
Shaking percussion across hand-railings.
That’s pretentious. It all sounds the same.
This strange behaviour automatically makes you better than me.

A night comes where I wish to stay in.
Perhaps watch a Jim Jarmush film.
No, let’s drink plenty of cider and head out.
Visit the valley. Go to stupid clubs where everyone is cooler than me.
My father’s suit, I brandish it.
I am verbally knocked down by the filth of the valley.
I should have stayed home.
You and your stupid friends are drunk,
And I join you on a 2am bus home.

We lie in the shadows of the nest.
I talk of the cigarettes.
I do not wish to walk through this smoke with you.
Stop it now, do it for me.
You didn’t give a ****. You would continue.

You never cared about my music.
Whenever I picked up a guitar, I got bad vibrations.
Any of your perfect hipster friends pick up my guitar, instant praise.
Play that again, Oscar.
That’s not a person’s name, that name belongs to a Muppet.

I should have done what I wanted.
I should have bought my groceries separate.
My money flew away in the breeze. My job wasn’t enough.
You didn’t care.
It was all about you. You couldn’t get money from the government.
It was all about the scene.
Putting on your most op-shoppy clothes, heading out to roll cigarettes and drink with other pretentious lower-class folk.
******* cardigans. Get the **** out.

I hate the way you didn’t give a **** about the songs I wrote.
I hate the way we’d always have to buy dark chocolate because the normal kind hurt your teeth.
I hate the way we’d never hire out a zombie film because you thought they were real.
I hate the way you cut your hair to look like Agynes Deyn. You didn’t look like her.
I hate the way you’d bag out our old town and think you were so much better because you lived north now.
I hate the way you told me about the clone of me you were seeing. He even played a Jazzmaster and had the same haircut as me.
I hate seeing new photos of you looking so sick. Every photo you’re holding a cigarette.
I hate thinking about what you’re up to right now.
I hate how you always come into my mind when I’m trying to get on with life.

But what I hate the most is the fact that I know you never think about me, ever.

And I think about you almost every day.

6/10/11 12AM

the carrion birds
squabble over red roadkill
greediest bird, more dead meat


( he flew up late
  so met his fate
  fast karma )