sometimes i wish i could reach inside of my chest,
detach my heart, hold it in my hands
and watch what emerges.
it may take ages to uncover the truth.
would you still be by my side?

the feeling in the pit of your stomach,
like someone's steeled toed boot kicked you
straight on, and hard
i slid my *** across the wooden stairs
trying to make my getaway as quiet as possible
my shirt inside out, and my heart bleeding
god, why do i try to find love in these places
the places that will hurt me the most
i reached the last step and ran,
ran to my car, past the old farm house
started the engine and sped away
i really thought you would have asked me
at least if i had gotten home okay,
but honestly
even that was too much to ask for

I never asked you to be something,
I simply just wanted to sit beside you
Let the others look upon us like I had some
Kind of claim over you,
Even though we both know
I never will
It sits in my stomach like a rock,
heavy, but somehow I still believe
that it has the smallest chance
to float

I remembered where you lived,
even if I knew it was the wrong decision to be made,
I still showed up, and sat beside you,
Entertained you while in bed,
Baring everything and nothing,
Because we both know,
I don't have that much to give anymore

But you still cherish my company
Like it's something you've never seen before
And I watch your face as it reminds me of a million others
But still, I wanted to stay
Just one more second longer
And I think that should speak more
For the both of us

You cried to me on the porch steps, like a small boy.
The round moon bearing down, and the cigarette smoke shifting
I held my arms out, but I realized a second too late,
That I am not capable of saving you anymore.

Your mother probably would have looked at me like I was crazy,
if she were still here to see the person that you have become,
But I sometimes like to hope that she would have embraced me,
With her warm eyes and her warm voice,
Because you were always her favorite,
And now you are mine,
and at least that is something that we could have shared.

I can't seem to place you in a little box,
With a nice pretty bow attached,
You're just not the type of person
Who I can figure out so easily
But I woke up beside you,
And you were still smiling,
So I figured I had done something right
And although there may not be any more mornings,
Know that I gave to you what I could,
What I thought you needed

You could tell me a million
things with just that    one    look
That one glare, as you sit
and stare at me at the dinner table

No, you don't know me
And no matter how many times
you try and unravel the threads
You know you are just making it worse