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Sep 2016 · 338
Will You Remember
k Sep 2016
Is it possible to be jealous of the future?
Of the people you will meet
that will make your dimples grow deeper?
Of the places you will see without me,
the pieces of pizza you will eat?
Of the new shoes you will pick out
and the dinner party you wear them to?
Of the girl you meet there,
who's laugh you'll like so much
that you'll forget about mine?
Of the dinners you cook
and the hikes you go on.
The adventures you'll have,
the drives, the movies,
the nights spent asleep,
the kisses?
The kisses.
Aug 2016 · 379
Cambridge
k Aug 2016
We got lost in conversation
about sports teams and politics,
the usual conversation,
lubricated by our spritzers and passing spliffs,
countless conversations
with your hand clasped on my thigh
and stolen smiles across the back porch

I sat back
laughing to myself about
the herb garden they've got growing
underneath those multicolored christmas lights,
tiny thyme leaves
I want to grind between my fingertips

And then we're leaving together
in your old Toyota that sometimes drives itself,
still caught up in our conversations
about politics and sports teams,
lubricated by those spritzers and passing spliffs,
that funny little herb garden,
those things who have given me
the most beautiful evening
of my life
Mar 2016 · 305
Am I anything at all
k Mar 2016
I waste my time
with trivial things
trying to forget,
since I always do that
anyways

I floss my teeth
maybe twice,
Because my gums don't
remember if I have
already

Someone told me I looked
nice in the library today,
was I there?
I must have left my
books behind

And it seems I've burnt
the toast again,
I don't think I was
going to eat it
anyways

I sit on my bed
singing the words that
taste faintly familiar,
drifting
in and out of
dreams of
you.
Oct 2015 · 277
Don't you feel it?
k Oct 2015
Being happy
brings unbearable sadness.
For it will never be with these people,
this person,
in this place, or with these things,
ever again.
They will all change,
and we will simply
cease to exist.
Jul 2015 · 1.0k
You are here, but I miss you
k Jul 2015
and though we
****
ravenously
you haven't seen me naked
in a very
long time
Mar 2015 · 1.0k
Maybe
k Mar 2015
Maybe I'll eat a sandwich
even after I know you've gone to sleep,
and maybe I'll keep buying you presents
everywhere that I ever visit,
maybe I'll pretend you keep giving me shot glasses
from each place that i know you've been,
maybe I'll think of you
each night before I can fall asleep
and maybe even then I'll see you in my dreams.
maybe I'll write stories of you
what we've done and what we could've done,
and maybe I'll write you letters
like I always have but never showed you,
maybe I'll smell you and hear you and taste you
in everything that I do.
maybe I'll find your old grey sweater
and smile at the things you always left behind,
maybe I'll fall asleep with my hand clasped in its other
since yours isn't here anymore,
maybe I'll hear the songs we loved to sing
even if I can't really hear them without you listening too.
maybe I'll taste that *** you always drank,
puckering perfect lips because it tastes
like ***** and good memories,
maybe I'll see 'your city' again
remembering what my first lobster tasted like,
and maybe I'll get a bruise and it will remind me
of how much messy fun I always had being around you.
maybe I'll fall in love again.
and maybe so will you.
maybe I'll be happy again.
and maybe so will you.
but I don't think
we ever will.
Feb 2015 · 407
Broken I Love You's
k Feb 2015
We're trading hurt for hurt
punch for punch
we're taking turns seeing
how much more the other can take
testing, trying, tricking, lying
we're ruining each other
ripping into the other's skin
pulling apart, shattering
scratching, scarring
destroying body and soul
so neither of us can ever be
whole again
Dec 2014 · 286
.
k Dec 2014
.
Apologies seep through
secret seems in my skin
tearing me open with
overflowing apologies
pouring onto my feet
staining them red
sealing shut and
ripping open again
with each change of
your indecisive mind
warm ****** apologies
always sticking around
my toes because
there's not enough
room in my body
there is no
perfect arrangement of
the fragmented pieces
of my heart
to ever fix
what I have done
Dec 2014 · 302
everything about you
k Dec 2014
everything about you,
everything about the world,
makes me sad
makes me hate it.
Dec 2014 · 431
1:28 am. You Lie To Me.
k Dec 2014
I don't wanna talk anymore
and I don't wanna listen.
I don't wanna believe more *******
and accept more lies.
I don't wanna pretend I don't know
or don't care or don't see it.
I don't wanna love you blindly
or pretend to either.
I don't wanna be a joke anymore
and I don't wanna take you back one more time.
I don't.
I can't.
Nov 2014 · 342
Betray Me
k Nov 2014
Each time I trust you,
there will always
be something
more.
Nov 2014 · 322
fuck
k Nov 2014
i forgave you when you dipped me
on kitchen floors with bare feet and
a mixture of drugs
but im laying in my bed
and i cant feel those kitchen tiles
or hear jimi hendrix anymore and
youre not here
and maybe
i just dont want you to be
anymore
Oct 2014 · 351
tired
k Oct 2014
I am so simultaneously
unbelievably content
in a beautiful world
and so indescribably
heartbroken
at the ugliness in
everything
Oct 2014 · 271
catch me
k Oct 2014
i wish to forever be
running towards you

in love

or away from you
with screams rippled
with sweet giggles
Oct 2014 · 245
Untitled
k Oct 2014
I'm happy you are sleeping






but I am jealous of your dreams.
Aug 2014 · 262
Untitled
k Aug 2014
lets ease our loneliness together
tangle our sadness together
and
bind our unbounded madness
to each other
Aug 2014 · 304
goodbye, my darling
k Aug 2014
I may never
come
back
.
Jul 2014 · 762
I am in love with you.
k Jul 2014
I am in love with you in the way that
you are my insomnia at 4 in the morning,
the one keeping me awake because my
body doesn't remember how to fall asleep without
yours quietly curled around it,
and my brain doesn't understand
why I irrevocably hate you,
or how I can hate and love one person
so much it makes my stomach hurt,
every moment I'm not with you I think
that the distance might **** me
because the sleepless nights and empty beds
breeding incomprehensible hatred
are just because I am
so
*******
in love with you.
Jul 2014 · 418
where i am now
k Jul 2014
this is only temporary

insanity
Jul 2014 · 325
Untitled
k Jul 2014
i want you like tequila
salty
bitter
deliciously
dangerous
Jul 2014 · 562
write me a story
k Jul 2014
write me a story that begins with
the light blue sheets that you lay your muscled body upon,
let it travel to the first thought in your head
and the taste of your spearmint toothpaste,
let it tell me about your blueberry pancakes or sugary cereal
and the breeze off of the lake that tickles your shaggy blonde hair,
let it show me the worry lines in your forehead
and the troubles with your father,
let it tell me of the girl that made you laugh
with her freckled nose that reminded you of me,
let it tell me of your struggles and your pleasures and your pain,
let it tell me about the sun that burns your skin
the world that you see through your blue green eyes
the liquor that kisses your lips,
let it tell me of your heart and your mind and all of the everything
that exists in your being
write me this story so that i may be jealous of your sheets and your father     and the sun and blueberry pancakes,
for they are graced with the wildness of your presence
in the story of your life
Jul 2014 · 278
Untitled
k Jul 2014
in my dreams
i kiss you so hard
i wake up
breathless
Jul 2014 · 348
to go back
k Jul 2014
angst and tragedy
all once seemed so
romantic,
so
poetic

and now i wish
i could rip the blade from
the fingertips
of my
past

and slap her straight,
explain that

blood is only blood,

and pain will not
make
you
beautiful.
Jul 2014 · 285
quite possibly
k Jul 2014
when I'm lonely
you make me not
lonely anymore,
but its funny you see,
I've begun to realize
i can make myself
not lonely anymore,
and I'm starting to wonder
if I've just loved you
under false pretenses
Jul 2014 · 298
miss you.
k Jul 2014
i don't know what you're doing
and i don't know how you've been
but i know that my fingers
itch without yours
and my body's grown empty
when i fall asleep without you
i know the miss the laugh that
you pulled from my chest
and i know you made me
believe in everything
i said i never would.
i know that
i miss you.
i know that
i love you.
Jul 2014 · 223
Untitled
k Jul 2014
i still choose you
Jun 2014 · 390
habit
k Jun 2014
developed a little
bad habit per say
started smoking
cigarrettes on
summer nights
each one filling
my lungs with
thick smoke leaving
tastes of you lingering
on my lips
Jun 2014 · 267
Untitled
k Jun 2014
it's funny
how forever
can be so short,
whether ended by
choice or unwillingly,
forever
is forever on
the precarious edge
of ending
Jun 2014 · 231
you and your bed
k Jun 2014
i just need you to be here so i can collapse on your bed with you and you can make me talk about whats happening in my head even though i don't want to, even though i don't have the words to make it all make sense
you just trick me into figuring it out with your eyes and your questions and your frustrations with me,
and i need that bed with us curled together with all of our anger and jealousy and laughter and love smashing into each other falling in love with our hatred and sweetness and ***
i just need your arms and that bed and the stillness you bring me, the smile you coax from my devastating destruction, i need your blistering beauty to warm my cold aching soul
Jun 2014 · 317
i promise
k Jun 2014
im not crazy,

i promise.

its just that
you wake
to my sleeping
and i wake
to your evening
and it simply
is not enough
to satisfy my
crazed cravings for
every bit of
you.
May 2014 · 507
3
k May 2014
3
its how you make fun of everything i do
and how you always leave your clothes behind,
the way you tickle me uncontrollably
and occasionally give me wedgies,
its how you want to be a chef and be a politician and travel the world,
how you always go cross eyed in pictures
and think you're the greatest thing thats ever happened,
how you get unbelievably jealous
and always put me in my place,
its how you've grown to trust me
or at least pretend to to make me happy,
how you dance like an idiot
singing lady gaga and katy perry
and the way you smash me to make me giggle,
its your huge dumb dimples
and your confidence and your humor and your anger,
its the way you look at me until i say what, then never give an answer,
how you call me kellzzz to make fun of me
and never let me win,
its how you hold me all night
and how you snore so ******* loudly,
the way you slap my cheeks and grab my face to kiss me,
the way you call me beautiful even in the messy morning,
its how you're almost as competitive as me
and how you're so freaking smart,
how you taught me about geography and never let me forget it,
its how you love classic movies
and look kind of like jaime lannister,
the way you pick me up till i scream
and always, always make me laugh,
its how you drunkenly told me the words
we both promised we would never say
and how every moment I'm with you
you make me want to say them too
May 2014 · 346
9
k May 2014
9
its different,
for the first time
i don't feel the need
to remain loyal,
i just simply
want to
Apr 2014 · 496
slowly
k Apr 2014
you'll be drinking champagne in paris
and ill be picking flowers from neighbors gardens
and we probably won't speak for a while,
your gray sweater i have will stop smelling of you
because i might forget about it in my closet
and you might like the french girl with her hairy legs,
we will both forget what waking up together feels like
and i'll eventually forget to miss your huge dimples
and you'll forget my vicious sarcasm
or the way you make me giggle
and we'll sort of fade into nothing and
i'll forget i love you
and you'll forget you love me
and we'll become strangers
once again.
Mar 2014 · 263
who are you
k Mar 2014
I've always had to be right at all costs
stubborn to the point of no return
i have to be the best, i have to always win.
and you terrify my soul because
you are the first that
i will surrender to,
the first that i don't want  to fight with.
you are the only person that can drag me
out of the holes that i dig for myself
and i think i might just
love you for it
Mar 2014 · 333
12:37 am
k Mar 2014
you traced my freckles
with your
fingertips.
you made me forget
about all my
scars.
Mar 2014 · 1.7k
apologetically pessimistic
k Mar 2014
I've always called love
b u l l s h i t.
a thing for moronic gigglers
and naive dreamers
because no one can ever stay
t o g e t h e r.
there is no one person
matched perfectly for each
other person,
there is no destiny or soul mate
or love at first
s i g h t.
we can pretend but
there is no such thing as
f o r e v e r.
you told me someone someday would change my mind.
i'll never tell you but i think its
you.
k Mar 2014
its just that
sometimes i get scared
that I'm just floating around with no
significance at all
Mar 2014 · 252
lie to me
k Mar 2014
you tell me you'll miss me
but i know you'll just be craving
whats between my legs,
you call me your girl
but i know i can only be yours
after everyone is already asleep,
and you hold my face as if
captivated by my eyes
but you're far better at
holding your tongue
because you know you will never
have truths that i want to hear.
Feb 2014 · 717
what. ever.
k Feb 2014
I'm sorry my words get jumbled
flailing off of my tongue as if
I've just learned to speak.
they're all so calculatedly stoic,
yet so simultaneously messy
with the secrets
that slip out of my lips.
and I'm sorry that when i say
the things I'm meant to say,
they aren't the words
you want to hear.
Feb 2014 · 376
never in love
k Feb 2014
It was never butterflies with you,
something so delicate and fragile
could never have survived the
blistering existence of us.

And it was never conversations
filled with sweet tender utterances,
but words of fierce jealousy
that simultaneously sliced us apart
and flung us together.

It was never quiet walks with you
while our fingers intertwined,
for those stinging red scratches and
moments of ravaging pleasure
were always much preferred.

And it was never love with you,
neither of us would ever allow
something so innocent and pure
to creep its way into our mess.

but now I'm afraid i must admit,
i love every inch of our
blistering, jealous, ravaging
mess.
Feb 2014 · 1.4k
picnics
k Feb 2014
I saw our tree in the park today
Remember the one
We carved our initials into?
It must have followed me here
Taken a train or a bus
Its branches bending, cracking, snapping
Trying to squeeze into its seat,
Travelled all the way from our park
With those lilac bushes and
Saturday morning picnics.
It must have known
That I would
Miss you.
Feb 2014 · 363
Fire
k Feb 2014
You give me looks like electricity
blistering through our veins,
biting your lip to bite away secret smiles,
fingers grazing like fire bursting on my skin
searing the edges of my sanity.

We are a mess together,
sharing a passion so perfectly poisonous
for each other, craving that
sickly sweet venom slipping from bitten lips
with bodies drenched in stinging jealousy,
we are, quite simply,
a mess.

Falling into something so
ruthlessly reckless and endlessly entwined in a fit of
passion and hunger so pure and astounding
it has never made sense,
so raw and real and tainted.

So in a few years I’ll meet you
in the cavernous pits of hell

and kiss you
while the scorching flames

tickle our toes.
Feb 2014 · 269
It's ok
k Feb 2014
and
sometimes people
just need to use you,
and you let them
because you
hope they'd let you
do the same.

i just really hope
that you're worth
being used.
Feb 2014 · 331
Stupid
k Feb 2014
i hate you
because
i like you
too ******* much.
and i hate you
because you
left your smell
all over my
body, my skin.
and i hate you
for making me
so happy but
making sure that
i know it will
never last.
i hate you for
pulling me in
over and over,
for bullshitting
me every time.
and i hate you
for believing me
when i say its
all ok because
its not and it
never will be
because i really
will never admit
how much i
******* like you.
Feb 2014 · 443
Mine
k Feb 2014
i will never care what we are
i need no names, no reassurances.
i will never ask what this is
i need no decisions, no ultimatums.
i will never wonder what we could be
i need no possession, no claim.
for the scratches on your back,
the kisses on my neck,
the curves of your body
fitting effortlessly
into the curves of my body,
will always be enough.
Jan 2014 · 854
Our 3am Darkness
k Jan 2014
We sat on that ledge passing cigarettes between us
breath thick with cold as white as our smoke,
we spoke into the 3am darkness about football
and how I've never seen a sunrise,
about things that i can't remember except that
they pulled giggles deep from my throat
mixing with our smoke and our breath
you told me that you think of me all the time
and don't know why, my lips craving
to tell you all i should've told you,
instead i made you give me that cigarette burn
because you had one and i wanted
our skin to sizzle simultaneously,
pain strung together by my giggles and
our smoke and our breath
thick with jealousy and lies and
always thinking about you.
Jan 2014 · 577
drunk
k Jan 2014
you intoxicate my mind
making me wish i could remember
every painfully passionate word
Jan 2014 · 2.7k
stubborn
k Jan 2014
I miss sunday nights in my bed
laying there so angry with me
so unwilling to explain your jealousy
because you're so unwilling to admit
everything i can hear on the edge of your tongue
and see in the bitings of your lips.

so ******* unwilling to admit
that i make you laugh
like you never thought i would
think about things
that you never have before
talk about life like
its something so new and incredible.

i miss the things we've never done before
with an aching in me that i'll never tell
because i'll pretend to be heartless until
you can finally admit that
you miss those sunday nights in my bed
just like i do.
Jan 2014 · 439
ps
k Jan 2014
ps
i like you
because
you let me
not be in love
with you
Nov 2013 · 511
trouble
k Nov 2013
"don't miss me too much"
you tell me and i laugh
claiming "psshhh don't worry"
when i want to tell you
how could i not
miss those dimples
that voice
your every
single
movement.
how could i not
worry about us
wait to hear
wonder
about
everything.
how could i not miss you
when you look at me
like that and
whisper in my ear
and kiss me so softly.
how could i not
begin to
fall for
you?
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