lately, much more and
I feel ill again
Not a cold
Or a flu not
Physical sickness
More darkness
Than anything
I don't like to fight it
Rather control it but
Control is half the problem.
I know it's wrong
that I'm healthy
By measurable
Medical standards
But I want to be less.

I'd rather not pass
Sustenance unwanted
through lips that resist
When the result loads
Loathing and disgust.
So cut back little by
Little, still isn't enough,
still too much...
Maybe I'll just go
Run another mile.

Naked bodies are meant for each other
To hold and to touch and to bother
I've spent some time not caring
but my anticipation is blaring

I left a good soul in good torment
He had video games on his mind
It was easy to see, we let love ferment
I was no one but a ***** bind
I said, enough.

Twenty five years
I've grown
I've slipped
I've been torn apart

Three years
I've wasted
Uninspired
Aching for
Inspiration

He came to me from the mines
His hard, rough hands
used to be so soft, when he was a boy
Boy has he grown
He holds me with a grip
As if I've slipped before

He came to me in the night,
unable to sleep
I heard his plight
My heart was buried deep
But I let him touch me
and look at me
and want me

These are not empowering feelings
A woman was meant for a man
A man, with primeval notions
A woman, with cultured devotions
We succumb to our basic human desires
It either feeds us
Or destroys us

Everyone wants to be the object
of the other's deviant subject
We look for distractions
something for attraction
Life is not a reality
It is a fiction
With every step
a new direction

I am free now
to love
to play
to dance

It gives me immense pleasure
to go back to previous measure
I don't care if I'm alone
I can choose to be used

I asked if he missed this
"Yes."

When you lose a lover
or a dear friend
you might
get them back
but they'll never
be the same
ever again

Within my hand.
I read the holy book of scriptures.
And understood more about the word.
Then from those that spoken.

God spoke volumes in just a few line.
If you love me.
Then keep my commandments.

With self-control it isn't hard to do.
It's strange.
But true.

When he spoked to Moses in terms of the tablets.
He spoke honestly and wisdom too.

Thou shalt not steal.
The consequences doesn't benefit a thief.
Thou shalt not lie.
All they do is multiply.
Thou shalt not ****.
We know life has more to give.
And if we reach out to our neighbor in goodness.
You'll find a connection only getting better.

Who seeks another spouse?
Only seeking to divide their own house.

Within my hands.
the scriptures taught me more then a leader's voice.

Yes, as much as the preacher preach.
And the teacher teach.
It's up to us to let the message sink in.
Cause some change the scriptures to benefit them.

Sometimes , you feel you have to educate them.

I'm drunk,
and in a flunk.
I know speaking while inebriated may not be the best idea,
as well as tending to those with gonorrhea .
Sorry it just fit the rhyming scheme,
had not intent to demean .
But sentences seem to flow so clearly,
while under the influence of whiskey.
So I wonder if it really is something I should refrain from.
or an old wives told by doctors to seem fearsome.

Though to think like that your doomed for an early grave.
Liver failure is no grateful save.
So I suppose it's time I give up the delightful sin
before liver failure starts to win.
So farewell jaundice,
despite our fondness.
I'm giving up this clarity
for a new outlook and some moral prosperity.

Yesterday was my father’s 60th birthday so I called him.
How many times have I heard tears of joy at the end of a receiver?
I don’t know how to answer these things,
I do not have a response to my own age sadness
nor my father’s.
I told him I had class and hung up.

Sometimes, I wonder why god does not give me a phone call.
It seems everyone has been hearing from him lately
and I wonder if it is because I do not brush my teeth
in the morning or if it is because I spit on Ricky’s pants
in third grade. He called me foxy
I just wanted to be human.

Do you think people are ghosts until they speak their mind?
Look at Anne Frank and Michael Jackson-
They are the closest things to humans I can find
when I look in gutters and radio signals
(I don’t find much there)

I bet you’re the type of person
who looks in between couch cushions and finds
job interviews and an always loving mother
who will never forget to pack you a lunch
and will always remember the exact time
of your birthday or your soccer schedule

I bet you and god talk on a regular basis

You are the type that I wish the best of luck to
out of respect but never necessity
and you tell me my eyelids are too heavy
and I should stop ironing out my poetry

I want to write you a letter
and dot all of the eyes with hearts
but I don’t mean to be ****** at all, I’m sorry
I just miss feeling as good
as my first kiss which wasn’t very good
but I am running out of firsts
and last is my least
favorite word in the dictionary

Tonight I will try calling god,
but my roommate will pick up the phone
and instead I will crawl into an envelope
and wait, wait--
I hope this is not something that will disappoint you

I want to be
the ponytail holders
you find on your
bedside table
long after I've left
in the morning.