He's attractive to me
A mystery
I can't tell if he's
A good guy trying to be bad
Or a bad guy
Trying to be good

I am the unluckiest
Blessed
Human being you will ever meet

I was raised Catholic
But Easter
Belongs to
Mother Nature
It is a holiday
Hijacked by men
Who refused to accept
A female worthy of
Worship
And holiday

All the smiles for no reason
That special, **** glow
The secret new rituals that suddenly feel so ancient
Holding hands, even just walking to the car
The tingly feeling, wherever you are
Aaahhh....new love.

None of us want to read about
You bragging about you
We don't care how many "*******" you can find to *****
We don't care about your fresh clothes
Or all your daring dos
In your narrow world
You dominate your own news

How can you tell if an elephant's old?
Do they get more lines?
Maybe they're all ancient souls
Reincarnating through time

You're there
Somewhere
Maybe close, or far
Still waiting for you
To find me wherever I
Are
You'll know that I'm me
From the bells in your brain
And how you no longer
Feel any pain
I'll recognize you
Too
Boo

They never seem to happen
Unless you're not alone
And when they come all you can do
Is roll your eyes and groan
Their timing is always horrible
A lasting memory they impart
Yes, of course I'm talking
About the ****** ****

They've been newly put
On the endangered species list
They used to be quite plentiful
But soon, they'll be sorely missed
If you happen to see one
Please share, so all may know it
The very nearly extinct
The contented, happy poet
(Company loves misery)

Men write ****** odes
Which is only a painful reminder
That men have no clue
How to turn women on

That **** boy
So smart
So beautiful
So sweet
He was worth looking past
Most things
But he wasn't worth
Not looking at all

I'm forever stalking someone
And totally give myself away
By commenting on something
They posted four months ago.

I always get nervous whenever I hear the words, "I'm gonna make an exception, for you."

He's working his way into the rhythm of my life
In that I expect him there.

I wonder if I can get a correct answer by asking the community, and with less effort.  Plus, I offer the community the opportunity to impart wisdom....though I seem to have a mental block, because I've actually looked it up before (more than once)
Anyways...please tell me....
Who was it who said,
"Not all who wander are lost"
?
Maybe I won't forget this time.  
I feel it common knowledge, I am uncapable of having
(This somehow feels poetic, to me)

Hello,
I'm the girl who says too much
I get it off my mind
Most of the time
I do my best
An attempt at being kind
But at times, I disagree
This is not a taunt
I just like being free
Expressing how I want

Last time you saw me
I was so sick
So skinny
Near-death ill
Man
Would I love to see your
Expression
When you saw me now

Is it just me
Or is it silly
To call it a needle "eye"
What do we do
But poke the thread through
And plus, it's silly, guy
Of all things to put on a needle
Why would it be an Eye?

I'm sorry your fragile ego can't handle the obvious

Please
Do not cry to me
About how your man
Cheated on you
For the twenty seventh
Time

O\

I once knew a boy who kicked the ladder out from under himself, just before he stepped into the roof.  
I can't tell if he was cocky or clumsy
Probably a little of both

The fadness of sadness
A ****** throughout the town
All the youngsters are vying
On who can best breakdown
The most original diagnosis
And don't forget, the best drugs
Alas, now it's popular to be
Mentally compable to slugs

There are few sights
More miserable
And forlorn
Than the kid
Who has just failed his
Driver's test

A knight in shining armor
Is just some amateur
Who has never had his metal tested

Throughout history, humankind has made little more than fairytales into deities.  In fact, the most advanced civilizations have done this.  I'm not saying that's what we're doing now, but it wouldn't be the first.

None of us can fake a sneeze
At least not very well
If you try to fake a sneeze
Everyone can tell
There's something in its chemistry
That belies authenticity

He went in to the plastic surgeon
With a strange request
The surgeon agreed, though
This would be his biggest test
It had never been done
But the man was quite down-hearted
He really, really wanted
To get that finger enlargement

My bequeath to Mother Earth
I try my best
And Always have
Curveballs galore
It actually sounds unbelievable
When I tell it
But we are a GREAT family
And everyone who actually
Knows us will testify
I honestly tried my best
With my kids
And it shows
Despite
The huge *******
Target Smear
Everyone who knows
Knows that we are an amazing
Team
And we all really
Love
Each other
So much
I did that

I know you wish you didn't say it
You know I wish that, too
But Time is a relentless
Warrior
He'll never turn back for you

Please try to refrain
Placing all that blame
Your faults and failures are all your own
Last time I checked, you were grown
There is somebody
Responsible for your misery
Namely you, baby
I don't want to be a mean witch
But truth, just like karma
Can be a real *****

Someone called the cops on Santa
They caught him red-mitten handed
The suspicious property owners
Called as soon as his sleigh landed
They chose not to press charges
So they wouldn't ruin Christmas
I'm pretty sure that next year
They'll be on the "naughty" list

Never trust a man who tells you he has never measured his *****

Is there a more dismissive line
Than the word "fine?"
"How do I look, dear?"
"You look fine"
Oh baby, I just tossed you a line
You picked it up, and set it free
But you didn't even look at me

Get over your badd self
If you think this means you
It surely does

Religious freedom includes the decision not to be religious .

Man's flawed theory of
Religion
Is that man grants himself Eternal
Blissful
Afterlife
The nerve!  
We turn our souls immortal
Declare ourselves gods
With souls immortal
Blissful ever after

If you want people to like your poem, you can't force it more than once
You can go with the obvious,
And even go all a flourish
But no more than once each
You can scrap a tap
On a dark, desolate path, haunted by furious ghosts
But don't bring it home on the same path so winding, you get lost in your landscaping, and desperately claw at whatever is available.

Thinking about you
Is like flying with my mind

Boy, you catching me in the feels
I don't think you're even trying
I smile, now, ten times a day
You got this girl a-flyin'

(Tee Hee...Im such a **** , there are probably like six guys on here wondering if this is about them. )  (Yep...I'm slutty and proud of it)

When we see you
With your *****
Whip
Cracking on the crack
As if that's all they lack
And all you have to give
That
Man will never live
On *****,
Alone
Neither can you

I know it bothers your soul
That I can contact you
At any time
And you have no way to me
You just can't stand the fact
That I have become free
But really, you sit in my mind
And thus, I'm still enslaved
I think I may take these chains
With me right to the grave

Oh Crimeny Jickets
I know there are times
When I sound as ridiculous
As that poem I just read
By that other poet

When I do
Please call me on it!

Forgiveness is one of the only things you give away
That must come with conditions upon the bearer
The condition is that your forgiveness must be unconditional
Once given, forgiveness includes the utter end of guilt trips
And the desire to require any further apologies
Forgiveness is irrevocable
Once given, you can't take it back
It always must remain
However, when you do forgive
There is so much you gain
Peace of mind, serenity, and one step closer to divinity

Your poems remind me of
Fortune cookie inserts
Offering advice
Instead of wisdom
Without good advice
Or
Enough stupidity to be entertaining
And fortune cookies are so **** bland
When paired with bland fortunes
But maybe those in the far East
Will find your poems exotic
Pay no attention to my critique
Because I don't know ****

What happens to a poem translated
It will lose it's rhyme
Luckily emotions translate
Perfect every time
Feelings are universal
Anger is the same
And love is still love
By any other name

I'm gonna wave my freak flag high
Right until the day I die
I'll be dancing in the nursing home
Probably clothed
And likely alone
But I'll be keeping to my groove
And get those old geezers to move

I'm a French Fry at a burger joint
I'm always seen as less
No one really comes for me
I'm settled for, at best
I don't get my own wrapper
Or individuality
And before I got here
I was burned alive in grease

Nobody likes the one who is telling them about they badd self
Tell someone how great they are
They will surely like you
And probably
Introduce you to all their friends
So you can keep saying
How great they are
Nobody likes the one saying
"Spend time with your kids,
Idiot"
The best friends have no friends
Because
Friends are not always friendly

Talking to you is like eating oodles of noodles
With a spoon