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My first love was a boy named Zebba
He was really sweet
My first kiss was a boy named Rainbow
Magic when our lips did meet
My first date was with Woody
We went to see Joan Jett
I'm still looking for the love of my life
But I haven't met Agamemnon yet
Someone stop that girl
She's saying too much stuff
Some of it's about them
But it's mostly about us
She wouldn't be so annoying
Except most of it is true
She's saying things about me
That I forgot I knew
She named her dog Bingo
As an "inside" joke
She had lots of money
But soon she went broke
She gave it away
To all stories of sobs
And kept sharing her body
With Toms ***** and Bobs
A social butterfly
She over-shared
But soon she was dying
And nobody cared
Two wrongs don't make a right
And
Two lefts make an
About face
He's that guy I'm flirting with
When I'm across the room
Having a conversation with anyone else
Your mind is beautiful
Twisted
But honest
And reluctantly romantic
But romantic
Nonetheless
All the more romantic
Because I can tell it pains you
To be so
But I can also tell
You will do all you can
To avoid paining me
Sometimes
It seems
(To me)
The word "that"
Is a distancer
I can say
"Do you think that I'm in love"
Or
"Do you think I'm in love"  
I can't explain why
But
It feels different
To me
Ugh
Ugh
You talk all this crap about immigrants
So tell me
What tribe do you belong to?
That boy
He drives me nuts
He's the cloud of gnats who get stuck in my ear
He's the patch of ice that sent me down on my rear
He's the kid in third grade
Who pulled my pigtail
He's the buggar the postman left
On my mail
He's stuck to me, now
All slimy and goo
I wonder if he's thinking of me too
We're not here to ease your bones
Or lull to sleep your weary souls
We're here to shake you til you crack
Send you down to Hell and back
If of this site you have no use
You're looking for ol' Doctor Seusse
I'm not sure what is worse
Being under the influence
Or being under influenced
I followed a poet
But her views seemed to shift
We had nothing in common
And I felt the rift
Whenever I saw her poetry
I thought "other people will look at me
And see, I've followed this nutty freak"
I wasn't sure what to do
I didn't want her to get a notice
KRISTA HAS UNFOLLOWED YOU
We're the only creature in nature
With a concept of the *****
Nobody asks the lioness
Who she's had *** with before
In fact, it's unproductive
It doesn't make us more advanced
Men would get a lot more ***
If they didn't care who's been in your pants
Please mister,
Don't try to save me
I'm not your damsel in distress
I'm a kick *** vaginad gladiator
Who happens to be having a bad day
I don't know what is harder
Loving someone who doesn't love me, and will only spurn
Or having someone love me that I can not return.
If I tell you that I want to die
Will you listen then?
What if I say that I'm just sad
And could really use a friend
Must I self-depreciate
To get your ****** attention
Pretend that it's myself I hate
To spark your intervention
I am mostly happy
But still, I'm sometimes sad
Apparently not good enough
At dwelling on the bad
Maybe someday
We'll have Unthanksgiving
All the things that have ****** us off
In this life we're living
I've got whole list
I'm sure you do too
What in the world
Is an unthankful girl to do?
I've got no special day
To concentrate on the let downs
I suppose for just today
I'll walk around with a frown
I had my heart broken
By a boy named DJ
Ugh!!!
I still love that kid
If you could see us
Together on this poetry site
You would probably love us too
He was amazing
****
Beautiful
And irrisistable
But he's not the only irrisistable
Man
Though they are
Very few.
I get to know
I broke his heart
Too.
It is hard for me
Someone who has been through all the worst life has to offer
To understand depression
I want to empathize
And a big part of me does
I remind myself that depression is not linked through life's circumstance
But a chemical reaction of the brain
As someone who has had a brain explosion
I understand the inhospitality a brain can put upon you
I am sorry for your troubles
Even if I cannot understand them
Maybe that's the thing about mental illness
It is un-understandable
Better to be a **** up, than a stuck up.
God made Adam
And thought
Ugh!  I can do better than this!
God did not make Eve as a
Companion
Clearly
She was an upgrade
There are two kinds of people
"Us" and "Everyone else."
Though the notion of Us is fluid
To some, it's all about wealth
Others think it is color
Or nationality
But mostly, when we say "Us,"
We mean "People who think just like me."
It can't be only me coming across these creeps!
(Please see ***** commenter guy in poem previously shared)
There is no such thing as
A Valentine
There are only Valentines
Some of us are blessed
With Valentines
Through the ages
Most of us
Are not
(But that's all *******. I've seen "a Valentine," and so have you, but they are very rare.
You wonder what happened to
All those valley girls
They weren't very bright
But they entertained the world
They brought a little comedy
To cut through all the gloom
But what a sad tragedy
When they all gagged to death on spoons
That she was not ****** to death
For becoming pregnant
Inexplicably
Is a miracle
In itself
Jesus was most certainly born
Under a fortunate star
When the only virus on your phone seems to be that stupid ad that keeps popping up to tell you "we have found a virus on your phone... scan now."
It's OK
I don't need your attention
Or support
I'm not falling apart
You can not entertain yourself
With the puzzle of me
I'm not needy
So I guess I don't make you feel
Necessary
I'm not a person with a
Sad ego
Who can make you feel content about your ego
I'm not academically challenged
For you to  gain satisfaction from teaching me
In fact
I'm probably smarter than you
Do you need my attention
Or support?
In Cape Cod
We have the Wampanoag tribe
You can see they're so
Bad-***
Because they survived
The boy is shamelessly magic
I see Johnny shared this.  He must have instinctively known I was talking about him.
Be wary of men who use the word
"Darling"
I can't tell you why
Exactly
But if you're not
Someday you can tell me
A couple of times
I called one of my grandkids
"******."
They told me they didn't like it
I apologized
And told them
I thought I was paying them
A huge compliment
They also don't like it
When I call them "beautiful"
(They're boys)
I think they might be being
Too picky
Which is probably
The opposite of weird
You're so weird
And the weirdest part is
You'd be at the perfect level of weirdness
If you didn't try so energetically
To be even weirder
Than you already are
You used some entirely too obscure words in your poem
Except
I wasn't compelled enough to look them up
What else but a heart can be broken and still work
What else but a heart can fixate on a total ****
What else but a heart can fill your whole body with the tingles
What else but a heart can fill a bar with lonely singles
What else but a heart can make you sign a life-contract
What else but a heart can make you want to take it back
What else but a heart grows when you give it away
What else but a heart can cause the elderly to play
What else but a heart can bring down a successful king
What else but a heart can make your whole body sing
Hearts.....they are schizophrenic
That poet, Jason James, has come perilously close to threatening me in a private message, and now I can't respond, or see his page.  
But apparently, I "best shut my mouth."  Not sure what he meant by that, but I'm not shutting my mouth.
His greatest accomplishment as a poet
Was picking out irrisistable titles
To name his poetry
I've decided I want to be a unicorn
Is there yet a term for a human who no longer identifies as human?
It wasn't only that Emmett Till
Made the kiss face to the
White girl
It was that he was
So **** fine
She liked it
I don't know what's harder
Loving someone too much
Or having someone you care about
Love you too much
Either end is painful
Always grateful
"Thanks for hurting my feelings,"
"Thanks for not listening
Thanks for letting me down"
Um...
" You're welcome, and thanks for blowing my good mood."
That white flag has been sitting in that case
Since I been born
And it will still be there
When I die
Talking just to talk
I can't explain it
Really
Saying the same thing
People say every day
Without doing it in a different way
Most of what I say is white noise
I'm watching a documentary about racist groups
Such as the KKK
Has anyone else noticed
These white supremacists
Are the most out of shape
Dirtiest
And foul-mouthed humans
Ever encountered?
Apparently
Supremacy
Is very
Unsupreme
Dear patient
We're sorry to hear you have some mental issues
Let's get you addicted to this drug
Frying your brain;
That should help with your mind problems
I'm starting to think the definition of "*****" is
"someone my man wants to ****."

Or

"Someone who will **** someone, but not me"
I'm a sucker for the term "bed head"
Whenever I get too close to someone, I stress over how my breath smells
Some people who know me find me annoying
I eat way too much junk food, and don't really gain weight (which is enough to make some people not like me)
I'm a total, out and out, non-apologetic flirt
I am a "know it all"
And sarcastic
(And that's about as much thought as I'm going to put into it)
I think I might be a ****.  
I wish we had a clubhouse.
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