He's one of those guys who thinks
He's being totally ****
Except women get queasy
Reading about his
"Quart of love juice."
That he honestly believes
We are dying to ingest
Dude has watched more ****
Than live *****

Perhaps we will finally accept
The true cost deforestation
When trees evolve to scream as we cut them down

Oh baby,
Something has been bothering you
I can tell by the things you don't do
You used to make yourself so fine
So pretty, I used to wish you were mine
You used to be so sweet and fun
But now, when I see you, I think "RUN!"
You used to laugh all the time
You used to be so **** fine
You used to make my heart do flips
But now, ****, it barely trips
So tell me....why do you
Look like you're in such a bad mood
Is there something I can do?

They never seem to happen
Unless you're not alone
And when they come all you can do
Is roll your eyes and groan
Their timing is always horrible
A lasting memory they impart
Yes, of course I'm talking
About the ****** ****

He doesn't love you in return
You fall apart
Proving he was right

Tangled up in you
Paying attention
To everything you do
Of course, it's all so new
It could be fleeting, too
But the tangle could become undone
And we continue two
As one

When I look at human habitation on Earth, I can't help but wonder if it could be most closely compared to the way cockroaches might inhabit a kitchen.  Leaving **** around all over the place...hanging out in clusters, but taking from everything.  Just something to think about.  I'm not sure it's poetic, but if it is, it's surely depressingly so.  Can't help but wonder if it's an omen, or a poem.

What happens to dirt that you throw in the ocean?
Does it become sand?
Could it be that dirt is an object
That can only exist on land?

I don't know what is harder
Loving someone who doesn't love me, and will only spurn
Or having someone love me that I can not return.

My muse is Dr. Seuss
I could try to live up
But it's no use
I think he'd be ok with it, though

The worst thing about being molested as a child (for me)
Was that my body did what it should
So, as that creep was touching me
I thought "wow, this feels really good"
As I got older, and realized the crime
I blamed myself for it
It took a lot of time
But after all these years, I am finally free
I have since accepted
The criminal was not me

I think men should start wiping after they ***
I could be wrong; maybe it's me
But I can't help but notice
No matter how much they wiggle and dance
Guys always come out of the bathroom
With a few drips on their pants

Heartbreak lends itself to poetry
The invisible pain we all can see

I had to write a poem for Jake
Because he takes the cherry
......
Hmmm.  Enough said.
Jaker the cherry taker
(It's not nearly as interesting as it sounds, but Jake will probably find it hilarious)

If poets took over politics
The world would do just great
Though, they'd have to work on the schedule
Poets always run late
They've got to stop and study
Every curiosity
Which, according to a poet
Is everything we see

I forced myself to write this
It's not sitting in my brain
It's backwards, surely
Like tracks which bust from underneath the train
Nothing much for me to say
Just dawdling with my pen
And as writers, we all know
I'll soon be back here again

We elected a president
Who screamed "make America great again"
Maybe it's just me, and of course, I am too late
But why would we elect a leader
Who doesn't think we're great?

I've got a new crush
Though I don't know him well
I'm not sure how he looks
But his mind is **** as hell

I write my haiku
Thinking maybe it will do
But I hate counting

Once upon a time
A wise girl named Krista
Said a lot of great ****
She thought everyone would copy it
But she was bigger in her head
Nobody gave a **** what she said

Don't ever, ever, ever
Profess to love someone
Unless you're comfortable
To **** in front of them
If you don't follow this advice
You'll just be telling lies
And, let's face it
False love lies
Are among the worst of kinds

As I was people watching
Which I like to do
A girl and two guys
Came into my view
She was wearing daisy dukes
And a bomber jacket too
I thought, how can you be ****
When your legs have turned bright blue?

A poem is an end and beginning
Unto itself
With everything in between
Don't be like the poet who must explain in light gray letters
What he or she did mean

Come on, Boo
Write for me
Ignite me, delight me
Set my spirit free
If I live in your poem
That's immortality

Please do not lead
With your sexuality or race
I want something more than
Who attracts you
Or the color of your face
Tell me your dreams
And your nightmares
Give me what's laying inside
Give me something deeper
Than the hue of your shell
Or who you want to ride

You really impressed me
Before you started trying so hard to impress me
Now you're not saying you
You're saying what you think
I want you to say
I gotta tell ya
Boo
It is unimpressive
And only proving
How little you know me
You were so much more impressive
When you weren't even trying

I wanted to say something
To embarrass my kids, and to  pass the ball
But as it turns out
They're embarrassed by me
When I say nothing, at all

I wish I had a talent
That everyone could see
Something that smacked you in the face
With its undeniability
But I've got to realistic and sober
I'll settle for being mediocre

Dearest wordsmith fellows
Poets whisper in bellows
But it's impossible if you can't
Discern a poem from a rant.

None of us want to read about
You bragging about you
We don't care how many "*******" you can find to *****
We don't care about your fresh clothes
Or all your daring dos
In your narrow world
You dominate your own news

You're a poem
Waiting in my head
Just as soon as I
Can figure out a rhyme
For muthafuckshitdangassbumcunt

Thank you, thank you
So much for this Earth
And my wonderful life, and all it's worth
Thank you, thank you
For all who I love
Sent to me from up above
Thank you for the birds and the bees
The sunsets over the golden seas
Thank you for this glorious life
But hey, it's not enough
I need bliss everlasting, free from strife
Without this awesome promise
I have no reason to worship you
In order for that
I need Earth, and Heaven, too

Oh...
Boo Hoo
"The Good *****"
Has blocked me because I told her I didn't want to hear about how she has been sexually harassed.

I love my kids so much
And I'm sure they love me too
Having kids is an agreement
To have your heart forever walking outside of you
Those kids are so awesome
I'm proud of everything they do
There is only one thing
That could make me burn in shame
They better be good parents
Or change their **** last name

When you read a poem and say
"Why didn't I think of that?!"
I guess that's just the poet's curse
We all have worn that hat

Poverty is the fault of the poor
We will not admit it
But we're surely keeping score
From the start to finish
We won't question
Karma's bad luck
Unless, of course
It's aimed at us

My favorite color is orange
But that won't help me here
Nothing rhymes with orange
My new favorite color is clear
It's simple in its brilliance
Ugh! Forget it, that won't do
For the purpose of this poem
My favorite color is blue

I wrote a poem that didn't rhyme
Just like I do each day
I don't know what is up with me
Something keeps getting in my path

Do you hear the footsteps drumming through our shopping malls?
Make no mistake, they have become our new-age hallowed halls
Cookie-cutting each of us
To unlined paper dolls

Queen of my heart
That woman was
And so, she'll always be
But every time I sparkle and shine
Nana lives on, through me

Hi, I'm your happy ******
Have you got some *****
Before we get started
Let's go over the rules
First, you can't put ANYTHING close to my ***
Also, I'm disgusted by the taste of ***
Plus, I refuse to put my face close to near your crotch
And please don't touch my breast
My **** surgery was botched
Pay no attention to that oozing sore, or maybe two
And when were all done, I'll probably rob you
But I'm your happy ******
Are you ready for some fun?

I'm not sure there's much of a difference
Between chaos and love
They say one comes from Hell
The other, from up above
I'm not sure I agree
With all that love can bring
I am quite convinced
The two are the same thing

If you tell yourself you're not good enough
You guarantee you will be right

Would've, could've, should've, didn't
Played the game, but not to win it
Angry at the referee
Blame him, or her, and even me
Ah, the guilt comes flowing free
From those who take no responsibility

Why do all the best die young
When mediocre  (like me) go like molasses
I guess it's down to science
Shooting stars burn out the fastest

I tend to keep my poems quite short
But it seems they're not well-liked
It took some time before I realized
Poems are like penises
The favorites are all bigger-sized

I've never had my heart broken
However, it has been dented a few times
And even dragged through the mud
Luckily, I'm a tough *****
Here I sit
Heart as good as new
Waiting here, for someone just like you

My chipped nail polish turns him on
He finds beauty in imperfection
I think I'll show him my surgery scar
To help him get an...

The difference between
A lie and a fib
Is easy to find
A fib is when someone else's decision
Doesn't depend upon your answer
A lie is when someone decides based upon your lie

It is not that I am heartless
I just have a low tolerance for *******