Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
The image of you
Floods my mind
All else I think of
Is the escape I must find.

I wish for you to hold me
Whisper to me that it's alright
Helping these temptations fade
Keep them away as you hold me tight.

Wash away the hurt from before
Cover up the pain with words you say
And even if only for a day
Capture this feeling and lure me away.

Everyday is a bad day now
No matter what happens
I can't shake this depression
In no way this feel bends.

I wish you were by my side
Even when I want to be gone
My love for you holds me hear
And keeps me almost strong.
I sit in bed
My head flooded with images of you
You

With your curly brown hair and gorgeous, deep eyes
With your love of coffee and adoration for music

How you play the guitar
How you'd always make me laugh

And last but certainly not least
That smile

I have fallen hard for you and I fear I will not escape the never ending pit

Yet I am not good enough
Not for you
I'm imperfect compared to your cheeky smiles and sense of humor

I'm nothing
Yet you are everything to me

I find myself, soft tears slowly exuding
Because I realize that what I speak is truth,
At least to me

I'm imperfect and you will never love me
I fear...

Every doubt tears me up inside and it's hard to control self deprecation
It takes over me

And I fall into a deep sleep

*Alone
 Oct 2012 Kaylin Martin
Leah Rae
They Are Lost Love Letters. Written & Sculpted, Imprinted On The Palms Of Praying Children.

They Are Hauntingly Beautiful.

They Are The Silence Of The Storm, They Are The Emptiness Of Shallow Graves.

All She Left Was “I'm Sorry” On The Bathroom Mirror In Red Lipstick, She's Said It So Many Times Her Body Is Now Bent Into A Permanent Benediction Of Regret.

He Wrote Five Drafts Of His Suicide Note Crossed Every T, Dotted Every I.

Now They Wear Self Inflicted Scars, Like Road Maps To Their Own Insanity.

It Was Her Palm Across The Diner Table At 3am. Her Skin Like Rose Petals Pressed In Submission, Smiling, Teeth Pulled Taunt Across Her Chapped Lips, Smiling, Telling Me She Hasn't Eaten In Three Days, Says The Sounds Of Her Body Eating Her Alive Helps Her Sleep At Night.

His Eyes, Angry And Blue, Told Me He Put A Down Payment On His Coffin Today. He'd Been Saving His Pennies For Five Years Now, Don't Tell Me This Wasn't Premeditated.

It Was The Way Her Body Vibrated Aching In Every Joint, Throbbing, Screaming Into Herself So Loudly Her Palms Shook. On The Way To Work In The Morning, Says Sometimes She Can Hear The Wind Whispering To Step In Front Of That Train, Says She Can Lick Her Lips And Taste Heaven.

The Way He Wore A Crooked Half Smile, Pouring GunShot After Gunshot Down His Throat. The Sting Reminded Him Of Wintertime In The Midwest, Told Me Could Feel The Tubes Clawing Their Way Down His Throat. Someday He'll Met A Heart Monitor With The Guts To Tell His Mother Sorry For Him, Because He Never Could.

She Filled Her Bathtub With Ice, She Fantasizes About The Layers Of Flesh Shes Been Suffocating In For So Long, Finally Being Numb.

The Way He Begged The Stars To Call Him Home, Closed His Eyes, As His Right Foot Craved The Gas Pedal, Screaming Through This Red Light, So He Can Finally Come Face To Face With The Angry God So Many People Pray To.

She Wanted To Trace The Lineage Of Her Family Tree Deep Into Her Veins, Up The Length Of Her Riverbed Skin, Until She Can Kiss The Underside Of Her Own Touch.

In The Early Hours Of The Morning, He Finds Himself Crawling On Bruised Hands & Scraped Knees, Cradled Against Train Tracks, He Liked The Constant Thunder In His Ribcage, The Promise Of Something So Much Bigger Than Him Dwelling Inside The Body He Has Been Calling Home.

She Wanted To Wrap The Tether Of Regret Around Her Throat, Ring Her Lungs Breathless, Tighter, Tighter, Until The Time Between The Rise And Fall Of Her Chest Felt Like Centuries.

He Stood Face To Face With A Motionless Sky, A Shade Of Grey So Empty He Could Feel It Ache Inside Of Him. It Begged Him To Step Forward, Just Inches, The Call Of The Void, Bridge Jumper, Harlequin Lost Lover, So Close, So Close.

She Held The Barrel Of Life Between Her Lips, A Fine Line Between Here And There. Shes Walking A Boundary Built In Her Blood. It Doesn't Hurt Yet. A Trigger Happy Hand, Palms Sweating, Shes Counting Down In Her Head, 3, 2, 1,

He's Got “Wide Awake” Written All Over Him, The Bottle Says Take One, But He's Got 53 In The Palm Of His Hand, She's Got Gasoline Seeping Into Her Skin, The Smell Of Smoke Has Never Been This Strong.

They've Been Journaling Their Lives Deep Into Leather-bound Notebooks For Someone To Remember, They've Swallowed Their Own Self Pity, Call It Poison.

She  Never Knew I Would Have Used My Fingertips As Windshield Wipers For Her Tears. I Would Have Placed My Open Palms Against His Chest, And Told Him He Mattered, At Least To Me, In This Moment, Brash And Reckless Healing,

They Told Me They Found A Muse In The Lost. Hopeless Melodies, Kurt Cobain. Sylvia Path With Stones In Her Pockets. ****** With Cyanide Tablets And Silver Born Bullets. Anne Sexton With Carbon-Monoxide Lungs And A Padlocked Volkswagen. Marilyn Monroe Silver Studded In Sedatives, Pulled Down Deep, Until There Was Nothing Left. Hemingway With Shotgun Shells Littering His Skull.

To Them It Seemed Like A Right Of Passage. A Last Attempt To Leave This Planet Screaming. A Better Than Goodbye. Something Poetic To Carve Into Your Skin, Or Flip Top Wooden Desk, So Someone Somewhere Would Remember The Name, Because They Were Told Legends Never Die.
This one is real personal. Hope it resonates with you, like it does with me.
 Oct 2012 Kaylin Martin
Emma
after you touched me
my confidence lasted
a full day

softly...
your hand was warm

it was just a brush by, really

and it wasn't even a soft spot

just exposed.


I want to mix with you still
leave cool spots on your cheeks
softly...
drip down your legs.

the air would be yellow sun around our heads
I’m afraid for you to leave
Because when you’re gone
You won’t fit in any of the little picture-frames
I’ve built for you in my mind.
The edges will be blurry
And I’ll be losing part of the picture of you.

I’m afraid for you to leave
Because when you’re gone
You’ll continue to find all the beautiful new things
and you’ll try to shrug away the old.
You’re still learning to live;
It will hurt too much to keep this fresh.

I’m afraid for you to leave
Because when you’re gone
I’ll have one less thing that draws me to the hills
And the valleys and rivers of home.
Now that you too have heard the call
To venture from the blanket we’ve woven.

I’m afraid for you to leave
Because when you’re gone
You’ll find that you can never really come back
No matter how much your heart complains.
The world is too vast and you’re too young
To live amongst the things you love.

I’m afraid for you to leave.
I’m afraid, most of all,
Because when you’re gone…
Despite all the beautiful things that you’ll find
And despite all the lessons you’ll learn over time
And despite the new loves and new dreams that await
And despite the fresh views that new places create
And DESPITE that your conscience will blossom and bloom
And despite that new life and new love you’ll exhume…
I’m afraid of one thing, and it’s breaking my heart
To be scared, when you’re daring this brand-new start…

I’m afraid your long glance is the last that I’ll see.
I’m afraid that you’ll never come back to find me.
08/17/12




Written for M, and he knows it. This now belongs to him.
Can't you see what you have done?
Broken me down and beaten me to the bone.
“No” has become meaningless and pointless.
Your words echo around my brain
where shattered memories lay in waiting.
You've ripped my body completely in half.
Wake up, please wake up.
It’s just another dark day
living in the place commonly known as Hell.
The demons are real and they live inside of me.
I can't fight them off.
As my strength is fading,
I pray to God that he'll just show up.
Can you hear me?
It’ll all be over soon.
Can you hear my heart beating?
Slower,
             slower,
                         stopped.
Can you hear me?
Open your eyes and breathe.
You have taken everything from me.
Listening to them laughing, teasing and cat-calling.
He’s grinning again, insatiable and ludicrous.
It's not over,
will it ever be over?
Next page