Help.

I wonder...
With this new year,
        will you change again?
Will you change for the better?
        Will you change for the worst?
Will you throw down your guard and run to me,                   will you continue to make me hurt?
Will I change too,
         like I have,
                  like I do?
Or will I continue to hold you down...

                      Let me hold you.

Do you remember 2010,
           do you remember 2011?
Do you remember all those times,
           we both felt in heaven?
Do you remember 2012,
           all those good times, and the bad?
Do you think this year
we'll change and not make each other sad?

                        See, I love you.
                                   I always have,
                                             I always will.
And the last thing I want
        is for this to not be real.
I hope that 2013 brings back the
        old love and a new hope.
I hope that 2013 doesn't leave me...

  

                                                                                           .                                                                       *Alone.

You'll never know the burn of a blade,
as I know it.
Cold and hard against my skin,
yet so soft and yeilding as it slices into my flesh.
My good friend,
where have you been for so long?
I miss your steely kisses on the inside of my arms.
Your pain infused words that
dance
      across
               my
                    hips.
Oh sweet love, I have missed you.
Sit next to my bed side on your throne of honor;
bathe in my blood; sip it from a goblet like wine
until we both lose consciousness from the pain...
So much better now that it is out of my heart,
and onto my skin.
Hello again, old friend.
Hello.

Sometimes, it hurts;
          the world, crashing down around you.
But you just gotta take a breath;
          square your shoulders and throw
                     up your ******* if need be.