I cannot begin to describe myself,
so I'll just leave you with two words,
unbecoming... whole...

I want to look into your brown eyes forever,
I want to kiss you with my gaze,
and see you with my lips.

I want to write canticles for you,
I want to sing worthy titles to you,
and write symphonies we can dance to.

I want to curl in and burst,
I want to burn and to hurt,
and you to be the only cause of it all.

I want a fire in you that no one else can have,
I want your thumping emotions directed at me,
and your aggression to throw me off balance.

I want your riches and your mercy,
I want your failures and your grace,
and all of your forgiving grudges to be my drive.

I want your heart in my hand,
I want your blood on my body,
and all of your soul entwined with my weakening one.

I want you smiles and your smell,
I want your laughs and your dry styles,
and especially the meaningful lies you tell.

I want to love you and to crave you,
I want to be everything and nothing in your eyes,
and I want you to be a part of everything I can be.

I want to pamper you in bed,
I want to lay your head on my shoulder,
and breathe in the breaths that leave you.

I want you to whisper truths in my ears as we sleep,
I want you to kiss me in my lowest and make me your everything,
and to show me I am not alone.

I want your lesser curves against my ambitious ones,
I want your warmth against my longing skin,
and especially your menacing fire within me.

I want to be treated more than just the local jester,
I want to be the king who holds on to his choice forever,
and to be the king of your heart for just a lifetime.

I want to be intentional and loving,
I want to never let go of you,
and most of all...
I really just want you to see that this is all I really ever wanted.

Twisted, protruding and mangled; my heart.
Life seems levitated upon my resting place,
right there at your feet.
Can I be allowed a phone call to my shattered body;
do please reassure my flesh that I still exist.

Numbness only to secure abstinence;
easier said than done, only the strong prevail.
Rubber grips and a metal frame and the smell of burnt sulphur and carbon;
the tool that drove life right out of my left temple.
I am right handed; with my own hand, my own absence of leave.
I want to live, I want to die again another time;
just not as I am now;
unfulfilled.

Through torture and pain, I am a fighter.
I am dramatically a complainer,
tools such as questions and expectations, my unbecoming.
Feather light as I float,
my expectations, again, my reason I am not me...

Dont bring me back, cry for me;
hold me hard, rock my body in your arms,
stay, don't just leave.
I have no one, no empty spaces to fill;
to fill like a cup with the chagrin of my decisions.
Let me stay, just hold me;
even more for it's the last time.

My end. Thorough yet empty.

I am original. I am the real deal.

Nothing about me is a piece of a puzzle belonging to someone else. I do not replicate and I do not show-off. What I am is genuine and I cannot be compared to anyone.

I do not strive to be someone else, nor do I buy into materialism that justifies my inclination to a persona.

What I do allows me to stand out and always be remembered. I cannot but allow myself to be anything but me.

My greatest sin lies in the temptations of jealousy and the frailty of my mind. My greatest flaw is my flair for emotion and drama. My biggest downfall is nothing but my expectations of others.

My real criticism comes only from true friends, the liars and the frugal in emotion are my enemies... They want me more than they need me as a friend.

My being screams at insults, but my meaning comes from deep in my heart.

They earn attention; I garner admiration.
Little are my fans, but they are my family stitched with iron in a stone-clad bond.
Close are my family; my enemies, my friends.
I am but an intelligent being with a fullness of everything I have.

With God as my witness, I am His creation. And in His image, like his work, I am original in mine.

My actions burn the jealous. My choices hurt the haters. My excellence in my passions set me in the sights of my enemies.
I am anything and everything but a relative polymerisation of random organic compounds. I am not plastic.

I am an artist! One with true feel, and they know it.

I cannot contain my innocence,
I am guilty with the loss of my sense.
I apologise for not even trying to be better,
my flaws make me anything but greater.
And in all of the wretched and shallow promises,
I do nothing but work with my devices;
tears, pain... physical pain.

Who am I to try to be someone special,
I dont belong among the celestial.
I cannot and I wont bend low,
for graces aren't mine to bestow.
How else can't I control my emotion,
my heart, really, just my mind's distraction.

I can stay now and be your brother and I'll always choose just to be that.
Nothing more nothing less, all my hurt I'll keep in that hat;
a constant mask, a facade and a charade,
a purulent form of my hiding place
and only in hopes to bridge the distance.

Forgive me, embrace me in a hug.
You're like family, a picture worthy of printing on a mug.
I love you and I know I hurt you,
but allow me to once again be true.

You have your mercy, I'll hold on to my grace,
you stay ahead and I'll keep my pace.
Maybe when I find myself again in your disappointment.
I'll have a chance at my atonement.

He was the blue sky
She was the rain
He was the sunshine
Who took away all her pain

She was the black sky
In the middle of the night
He was the brightest star shining Reasurring her
That it will be alright

She's an old untuned piano
With dust on the keys
But he sits down
And makes beautiful music from her
But she never ever will see

He was the smell
After the rain
She was like the seasons
Always eager to change

He tastes like cigarettes and jack
She is at war with herself
Ready to attack

He has the  universe in his hand  
The world in his palms
She has nothing to live for
She sits alone writing song after song

His soul is full of awe
His eyes are filled with wonder
Her heart is much too cold
Down her life it plundered

He is like a warm summer breeze
Setting all souls at ease
And she is like these cold december nights
Always
Chilling
Always causing a fright

I am the thoughts that you want, I am the vibes that you crave
I am the truth that you flaunt, I am the lies that you make
I am the death that you fear, I am life with it's fakes
I am the breath that you breathe, I am the visions you need.

She steeps deep in my eyes, my soul is lost in her
She tells me that's okay, baby just do what you can
You are the drive in my dreams, you are the wetness it brings
You are the pleasure I want, you are the life that I seek.

I am not your love, I am the darkness inside
I am the fight for your life, I am the truth you despise
I am the crackle that breaks, I am the scars on your face
I am the anger that seethes, I am the secrets you keep.

She shuts my eyes, her soul is lost in me
She tells me thats okay, baby do as you please
You are the love that I need,  You are the weakness in me
You are the past without pain, You are the curse in my veins.

My cogitation suffers inside
Pleasured by neglected infections.
I will damage your insides
Leave you naked and misdirected
Naturally Im taught to take what's mine
Leave emotions uncollected.
Push aside honest lies, unfaithful dreams,
You die inside every time you fail to speak.
Im the darkness you love
The disaster you carelessly seek
The trouble you need,
The obsession that initiates your thoughts to bleed
Lets leave our fantasies to be teased
Beg for the sin of love on our knees.

o simply to be a fly that flits and floats
a bird that sings
a frog that croaks
a life that does, and doesn't think
that doesn't care
that merely blinks

no life like this i can see.
no life of simplicity.
a man who walks
a man who talks
a man who thinks
and thinks of thoughts.