we'll never be clean again
the angels in their spotless robes, glaring down untouched
the first hand put on our skin was filth forever
lick their lips and **** their teeth, rosaries and morals clutched
we'll never be clean again
no soap washes away the stain of men, having a body, the ultimate sin
never asked for, but punished anyway
nothing cleans away the memories twisting behind your eyes, but forget or they win
we'll never be clean again.
never speak of or think of it.
never be like them.
prayers writ and wrists slit,
and wonder where from it stems

my heart is full of cotton and I feel so light thinking of you
like tempered chocolate or sea foam
emotions like this are so new to me but they feel so warm
even though you'll never feel this way for me, thank you for letting me feel it for you

my bones are quartz
my heart a horse
my eyes are dew
I'm nothing but a compilation
or emulation
of things I see in you

draft horse heart, walk on
till the earth of troubles
seeds of hope planted in may never sprout, but the roots reach further down
draft horse heart, carry all my sadness
one heavy step in front of another
a beating heart climbing the same hill
draft horse heart, walk on
carry the troubles, the sadness, the pain
heave through snatching brambles
there are greener pastures there
walk on, draft horse, to the stable you seek
your hooves a beat of a bleeding heart
each trouble precious and sharp, wrapped in gauzy nostalgia
each sin and lie another stone, tucked in silk, packed so neatly
my broken heart, my lost direction
walk on, draft horse, walk on
the stable there is not right, walk on
we may find the right one later, walk on
each step a beating of this heavy heart
walk on

oh, my soft heart
oh, my gentle dream
oh, my delicate soul
oh, my downy love
you are every smooth, soft, silky thing of me
you are so soft, my heart
you are so gentle, my dream
you are so delicate, my soul
you are so wondrous, my love, my sweet velvet darling

I wish I was cold-hearted and frozen
if it was frozen I could cut it out and let myself be empty
but it beats hot with the smell of wood fire in stone hearth
hot like embers in a pyre
I wish I was spring, new and clean
frozen hearts of ice in the streams
but winter's all I have
with fires burning in lonely homes
an opposite that's less attractive
melting from the inside, I wish I could freeze

he whispered
"I love you"
but it was too quiet
so he said it again,
with a closed fist.
eventually
it only sounded right like that