The shower doors won't close properly,
and neither will
my eyes.
The water's getting in
The soap's getting in
The fear's
setting
in.
"He wanted her."
Past tense, I tell myself,
Let It Go.
And I have to, cause the water's
running cold.

I'm grumpy, upset, annoyed at you,
I'm in a bad mood
again.
Angry? No, not angry. Never quite
angry. Never (quite.)
He loves me, he keeps telling me.
"He tells you all the time."

I don't know why
I Need this doubt.
But it makes me need to
Try.

It's as soon as you leave, that
The Worry
sets
in.
It's never been there, it's always
been there.
Because I know just what
You're capable of.
I know too much, I don't know
enough, but still
More than I should.
And as you lay there, sleeping,
I know that this
is how
it's meant to be, it has to be, it Needs
to be.
It Needs to be.

Sturdy, solid and utterly
Unbreakable, it's meant to be
Forever. It's going to be
Forever. It's a fact,
Or so we take it.
Crystal clear,
And yet strong as diamond.
Time is not a problem. Time is not an
Issue.
Of which we have
None.

I wonder how she's feeling,
And if she'll ever know.
I'll invite her to the wedding,
And see if she will go.

And you're going to stage me, you said.
Us, and you'd love me to go along
to it - with it, but I don't want to
put you off.
They'll share our secrets, unknowingly.
They all will.
Medicine cabinets in the rain,
collecting water, dripping
secrets, and were you a song
you'd hold significance.
Somehow.

Shake on it, high five, and then
Seal it with a kiss.
"Greatest Couple Ever"
With a grin or a metal face.

And we're so very close now, but it's
Baby Steps and uncertainty.
Because you're in love with ideas, and I'm
In love with impossibility.

"You smell like chocolate."
Yes, but
You smell just the same
As you always have. And
It makes me forget
That I'm not
Supposed
To care.

I'm half over you, but
Still trying to get
Under.
Don't let me.
I'd just blame you.