I can't be alone,
So I'm cradled, I'm held,
But my feet are just left
Dangling.

You're nothing to me, you're
Nothing to me.
You're nothing
To me, you're necessary.

I need you to be here,
I need you to go.
And I need to leave, and be
On my own.

But I don't know how!
To do things my way,
I don't know how
To not depend.

I'm clinging, I'm hanging, I'm
Clutching at straws.
I shake, pry open
My own clamped jaws.

And as I walk away again,
So much of me dies.
Forever the girl
With the sad eyes.

Lost in a desert of rights and wrongs,
With a list of pros and a list of cons.
I can't quite tell my left from right,
But I can't stand here figuring it out all night.

I know what you need, and I know what you want,
Yet you're stubbornly wearing these terms back-to-front.
You confuse me, you use me,  you tell me it's Love,
But falling for your charms is something I could be above.

So I'll make myself happy, in my own ****** way,
Even though you won't support me, no matter what you say.
Leave him alone, leave me alone, please just let us be,
And you can do what you want, without a word from me.

For the first time in forever, I can feel a sort of trust,
But it isn't meant for you, and it's certainly not for "us."
I want to cut you out of me, for more than just right now,
And for the first time in forever, I'm starting to see how.

Broken and left,
but left by force
And now it's murky,
I can't see the course.

With you, without you,
You think you know better
But my feelings are contained,
in an unwritten letter.

The communication age,
is too much for me to bear
There's nothing I can do,
Without a reminder of you there.

In one way, in all ways,
in any way you can
You're sorry, you love me,
I'm ruining our plan.

I'm trying to keep sane,
Trying to just stay alright
But I feel like I'll surrender,
to the weakest of your fights.

I'm supposed to just go back to you,
Cause you've got "so much left to give,"
"You can't just move on,
and forget the life we planned to live."

I haven't forgotten
You've just turned it rotten

You've left me without
the capacity to care
***** my trust and left it just
Lying there.

Racking
Ransacking
Looking for a
Reason. Any reason.

You ****** me
****** me over
****** her,
in your head.

I'm fatigued, and I'm
Jaded, and I'm
Betrayed beyond repair
And for all the king's horses...

I thought you had changed.

It's almost two weeks,
"It feels like two years!"
It feels like
two
minutes.
Maybe it's your ego
Maybe it's my body
Maybe we can forget it
and just
move
on.
"I can live without him,
I don't NEED to be treated
that way."
But I want to wash your hair
And that'd be less awkward
if we were
together.
I want to make your feet better
I want to make you feel better.
I want to bake together,
cookies and treats
I want to bake together,
in the foreign sun's heat.
I want you to learn
How to give me a massage
Because I know
that it'll make YOU feel good
inside.
**** it.
******* it.
We're meant to be
together.

Two years past, and
one year since.
But it's the latter we celebrate,
the former is
whispered. It was
Confusion and Cruelty.
It was apologies, and
betrayal.
We're safe, now.
I'm safe, and
I feel so. In your arms,
out of your arms,
but they're never far away.
Tá domhan úrnua againn,
and we won't mess it up.
We don't fear the future.
We recall without worry.
Now is harder, but we're saving it
for later.
There's so much to do
and so much to not,
and we've intertwined individuality.
I can't see the border,
but I don't really try.

We're safe now.

Just the other morning I watched a blackbird.
It flitted through the unexpected sunshine,
Drawn, as they are, to the feeder in my garden.
This one, though, overshot its path.
It was flying so fast,
It didn't see the glass.
Death was instantaneous.

This morning I saw death of another kind.
Ethereal, yet just as unexpected.
"Maybe I got complacent, maybe I didn't think."
And the centre of my body is flickering.
I didn't expect to find flaw,
I couldn't have seen the fall.
Death comes slowly

and now it's down to you.