I can't help                                                     I don't undeRstand
                                                    ­                                 Why It's me
                                                                ­      Who gets' stuCk
                                                         ­                           With Him.

                                                                ­                     But here I
                                                                ­                              Am. With one
                                                                ­                     Of the best
                                                            ­                          KilleRs in History.
                                                        ­                                 To Date.
But blame myself
For what happeneD.

Even though i'm
Not that person
                          AnYmore.

I don't care
If what happened,
Happened over 16
Years ago.

I may not
                 PhysicaLly be that
Person anymore but
                         I cAn't help
        But be him iNside.

Many people ask me why I don't want to get into a relationship, or why I don't have a boyfriend. This is why.
I have Depression.
I'm Suicidal.
I'm Bipolar.
I have OCD.
I have PTSD.
I'm abusive as a way to get back at the people who abused me.
I don't accept myself, the way I should.
I am ****** up beyond repair and belief.
I cut.
I dump all of my  problems onto people and expect them to treat me the way I want to be.
I am judgmental.
I can not take no for an answer, but when I do I get pissy.
I don't like being insulted, but I love insulting people.
I hate attitude, but I will give it in a heartbeat.
I expect to much out of people that I know are only temporary.
I share my opinions WAY to much.
And you know, guys can't handle it.

No one can see them

A very close friend told me that I was lost.
It meant a lot, because I am.
I'm lost and I don't think i'll ever find my way.
And that's okay.

I hope it doesn't effect you that I can't control myself.

Make me believe, in this future.
                                In this life.
                                In Love.
                                That maybe i'll be happy.


Because I finally found that one person, that makes me okay. Calm. Collected. Yet at the same time spiraling out of control. I wish I was there.

I think its funny
I think its sad
That the dreams in which i'm dying
Are the best i've ever had.

What if just for the moment,
I'm gone?

Without warning,
Just starting to disintegrate
Into nothing.

The main thing I want,
                        

                                      Is for someone to ask, "Are you ok?"

Me too say "i'm fine, just tired."

                                     And for them to look me dead in the eye, hug me tight, and say, " I know your not."

You see at the end of
The road Dorothy
Got to go home.

"Just tap your shoes,
And say 'There's no
Place like home.'"

Tap one.
There's no place like home.

Tap two.
There's no place like home.

Tap three.
There's no place like home.


And i'm still
*here.

A Reader lives
A thousand lives
Before he dies.
The man who
Never reads
Lives only one.

Books don't
Change people;
Paragraphs
Do, sometimes
Even
Sentences.

Eccedentesiast

                         (.n) Someone who hides pain
                                                behind a smile.

" She said sorry often.
She apologized for apologizing too
much.
She said sorry like it was a greeting.
She apologized for everything that goes
wrong.
Because she labelled herself as a
disaster.
She was sorry for not being good
enough.
Because no one ever told her she was
good enough.
No one ever told her that she was
something more than
the mess inside her head and the
tsunami inside her heart.
So all she learned was to apologize for
every single breath she took."

Depression- Deb
Suicidal- Sue
Anorexia- Ana
Bulimia- Mia
Self- Harm- Cat
Schizophrenia- Sophie
Bipolar-Bri
ADD/ ADHD- Addie
Ednos- Ellie
OCD- Olive
Borderline- Bella
Paranoia- Perry
Insomnia- Izzy
Maybe, Just maybe our worst nightmares are real.

Violet eyes
&
Ripped thighs,
Broken truths
&
Butchered Lies