I can hear it
Calling for understanding
On my skin and in my bones
It pollutes my veins
Craves an escape hatch
Pounds at my rib cage
Paces behind my eyes
Screams to be let free
It doesn't know that there is a lock
And I don't have the key

Shaking hands
My stomach and heart have switched place
My lungs have left home
The wall is down
I’m rebuilding it in time for tomorrow
Re-establishing apathy
If I had something that made feeling easier
I’d use it

He's too old for me
Ten years too old

I'll make him want to be mine
I'll make him need to be mine

He'll take me to his place again
He'll share a pieces of his life

I'll drop crumbs of mine
He'll gobble them up

I'll let him
Let him take parts of me
Let him see me for what I am

Let him touch my scars
Let his fingertips trace those raised lines

He's too old for me
Ten years too old
He's going to love me
I'm going to let him

Count them
There are more all the time
Adding up
I find them everywhere
And its vindication
If I just meet more
If I just make more want me
If I just make more need me
Then I'll feel good
Then I'll feel less empty
I toy with them all at once
I need more
Not enough
Not enough

oh I know you, I've seen what you can be
I love them
The drinker, the dealer, the liar, the drunk, the smoker, the fighter, the dreamer, the disenchanted, the lost, the chained, the hated, the loathing, the trapped, the fearful, the coward, the talker, the silent, the crooked, the deceiver, the crippled, the troubled, the twisted, the trembling, the abusive, the cold, the cruel, the painful
I love them I love them I love them

Trembling
For your hurt
For my wound
For my dull edged knife
For the pity
For the blame
For the way your heart tears itself to pieces on that jagged blade

I said goodbye
I cut out the ones who did not belong
It feels like I cut out my lungs
I'm cold
I'm empty

I will fill the space
With new ones
The one too old
The one too dangerous
The one too far gone
The one too intense
The one too trusting
Five to fill the loss of two

Five to fill the space

Five to seal the wound

Five I will have to break