I used to look forward to Sundays
It was our day

Sundays without you were rare
And now it’s a normal thing

Instead of laughing
And smiling
And loving with you

I am crying on a Sunday

I am hurt
I am lonely
I am feeling awful without you

I am crying on a Sunday

Does anyone else have those places?

The ones that used to hold such happy memories
That now only bring sickness to your stomach
And shortness of breath

Even the thought unleashes the bittersweet nostalgia
Being there is overwhelming

I have those places
Quite a few
All hold memories of me and you

Like the woods that we hid in
That one late autumn night
When we were playing hide and seek
No one was going to find us
You knew it
You picked me up
I wrapped myself around you
And you kissed me
I kissed you back

The spare bedroom at my best friend’s house
Where we spent most of our Friday nights
Where I gave you every single piece of me
Leaving me a few months later
With nothing

The big comfy chair at my aunt’s house
Where you laid with me
When I had a little too much to drink
I wanted to cuddle
You wanted to sleep
You kissed my cheek
And shut your eyes

The soccer field downtown
Where I went with you every Saturday morning
Even though I really wasn’t into soccer
I was really into you
So I went

These are my places
These are my few
That all hold terrible
Wonderful
Memories of you

I find myself looking back on that day a lot
It was the turning point in our relationship I’d say

The big sinking feeling when you’ve reached the top of a rollercoaster and you’re preparing yourself to go down

We had reached the top of our rollercoaster
I knew it

I was lying alone in that bed

My hair a mess
My eyes overflowing

I tried to keep quiet
But my sobs were loud and painful

I wanted you to hold me
I wanted you to calm me down
Tell me that it was okay

That’s all I needed
I needed your reassurance

But instead you gave me anger

You were angry that I was crying
You were angry that I kept things bottled up

You were frustrated
I know

But you gave me nothing but harsh words
When all I needed was a hug
A sign of affection
That’s all

That’s when I needed you the most

That’s when I could tell I’d lost you

You could no longer sympathize with a wreck like me
You could no longer put up with me and my mess of a mind

I get it
And I don’t blame you

We’ve reached the end of this wild ride

You got off a long time ago
Yet I still stay

I know you’re not coming back
But if you did
I’d do it all over again

Because I’m still hopelessly in love with you
And this rollercoaster we call “us”

You left a couple 24 hours ago
It feels like a lot of 24 hours ago

You’re out there
And I’m still here

Talking with myself
About you
And us
Which isn’t much of an us anymore
If it’s just me

I cant seem to take my eyes
Off of the door
The way you left it
A tad bit open

Couldn’t you have just shut it all the way?

It would sure be easier for me
If there wasn’t this light spilling through the crack
Giving this room a dim light
A sliver of hope
That things might work out
That you’re going to come back

Oh my
That’s a nice thought

You walking right through that door again
Scooping me up

Saying that you’ve had your space
Had just enough of it
And you’re ready to share it with me again

You could have just shut it completely

Because this hope, this possibility
Is going to hurt me
More than you being gone
If you end up being gone for good

I’m happy without you
But I would be much happier
With you here

Please come back

I want to feel the butterflies
I want the constant aching to leave

Please come back to me

It’s a new night

I am alone
As I like to be

Me, myself, and I
All together
For the first time in a long time

It’s nice to catch up
See what we’ve all been up to

Isolating myself for a while
Does not hurt me

It allows me to know myself better

That’s something I’ve gotta do
Or else you’ll never want to