i beg for you to call one last time because my worst fear is forgetting your sweet voice when i need to hear it the most

you never asked me how i was so i think that's why i never told you how i felt

i'll let you drag me to hell if it means you'll hold my hand

i'm the feeling of regret that hit you when you left

i knew i fell in love when you first said my name
and i didn't hate the sound of it

i have forgotten how to be happy

the shower is her safe place.

although alone, she feels surrounded by thoughts.

through the sound of the running water, listen to her muffled screams.

watch as her tears flow down her beautiful face,

only to blend in.

ki

you are the person that makes every clock stop
and every broken memory fade

hold me until every tree loses it's leaves
and every harsh winter comes to an end

i fell in love
but i'm not sure
if it was with you
or who you made me

He walks underneath the pressure of his own shoulders and begs for the day to come where his smile isn't as fake as the Christmas lights around his dead tree

i'm running from the pain but i always get stopped at a dead end

i hated you for loving me because it only reminded me of how many people i've been destroyed by

crying in the rain so you can't see my tears

my eyes are still stained red
from every moment you weren't
there for me when I was lost
in my own head

Love is when you reach for her hand instead of the bottle

Sometimes i imagine our hands touching in between the sheets, bringing back every late night memory of you holding me.

But then i wake up, and i remind myself that i'll never see my reflection in your eyes again.

I miss you.

These words would be the last breath that I allowed my empty soul to take in.

Love is waking up each day and not wanting to be anywhere else

I’m done;
With life.
With everything.
And I’m stuck.
Feeling everything

I've built this wall up for so long that I'm only now realizing that every brick I used was filled with the memories you left me

hurting today from the pain caused yesterday

I saw your face for the first time in over a month today. for some reason, it still hurt to see you smile and laugh with other people.

we haven't spoken in weeks and we probably won't ever feel the need to again. but God ****** there's something about you that won't get out of my head.

i’m being suffocated with my own thoughts.

i love the way my heart breaks when you say you're too busy to talk

empty bottles and they smell like you

learning how to forget the pain caused is the worst pain of all

i’ve never heard your voice, yet i can tell you anything.

ki

everyday I walk past the same bus stop searching for a familiar face in the windows
I couldn't tell you how many times the bus stops there each day but I can remember each time the memories begin in my fingers and ended in the tears on my cheek and how often the driver closes the door so fast that it busts on my face like my windshield did last Christmas break and how I sat and listened to each piece of glass cutting into me like the words of my father whose religion was drinking himself to death
everyday I walk past the same bus stop with the same people at the same hour and I wonder how often they go home to shaking bodies and broken bones and how many times that door gets slammed in their face so hard that they remember every time he grabbed her too hard and how she would claw the door for someone to pull her up for air or how often they almost got away but they didn't press the gas hard enough or the window wasn't high enough
and I wonder how many of the innocent souls on the damaged bus have seen the light after they've been in the dark for so long

i needed you but you needed her more

let me be the one who tells you everything will be okay,
let me be the one who makes your fears go away

i will never forget how you held my hips
like it was the first time seeing me in years

I couldn't count how many nights
I woke up tangled in my sheets,
forgetting you weren't there

help i'm sad and falling apart

Tonight my grandfather looked at me and said,

"Where do you plan on being in four years?"

Usually, this question is simple to answer. The usual 'college' or what kind of job I would want to have, and I sat and thought about how I would respond. After a few moments of him staring at me, I said,

"I plan on taking care of myself for the first time."

He didn't really think that was funny, but what he didn't understand was that I wasn't joking. Ever since I was young, I have always had to take care of something or someone.

He waited for me to explain; he obviously didn't understand how that answered his question. I showed him examples from when I was young. Before my father got custody of me, I always helped my mom with whatever I could. Which wasn't a lot, because I was so young.

Between the ages of 8 - 11 are where I remember the most. This is when I was living with my father. He would fall asleep in the living room and I would wake up every night around 2:00 AM and I would check on him. He would be too drunk to wake up without getting sick, so I always tried to be quite. I would take the beer from his hand so I didn't have to clean up that mess the next morning. Then I would take his shoes and hat off, and I would turn off the TV. I'd always go back to his room to get his bed ready and then I would go back to turn all the lights off in the living room. There's no telling how many nights when I didn't get up and the doors were still wide open through the night. I would literally walk him back to his bed and lay him down, because he couldn't do by himself.

I was 8 years old.

A lot more has happen since then, and I still have to help him to bed sometimes. But now, I live with my grandparents and I have for years. They are getting to the point where I am helping them with everything.

Although my grandfather was surprised to hear my answer to his question, he listened to me for the first time and he understood.

I'm ready to take care of myself.

she roamed in the pale moon light
only so no one noticed the physical scars
that bandaged her broken heart

what if you're the person i'm looking for
but you're hiding and don't want to be found

maybe it's because i get lost in your eyes,
maybe it's because i can't tell day from night