I remember the first time I lost my innocence
I tried a bit of ***
I didn't like the taste, but they told me it'd be fun

So I continued drinking more and more
until I couldn't remember anything before
And my head was spinning rapid
Yet you continued to call me "kid"

And I wanted to mean more than that, I wanted to be grown up
So I took a hit and coughed a ton
until the moon looked like the sun

And I thought to myself what fun is this?

I tried thinking to myself I'd made it like the rest
I believed I'd fit in, with not only the great, but the best
I thought these thoughts until my head got lost
And the visions were blurred and my words were slurred
I couldn't remember where I stood, not understanding how this felt good
Because everything was bad, and suddenly my emotions turned sad
Because what's "good" about having no control of what you do
What's "good" about not knowing the sky turns dark when it's no longer blue
But maybe this was you showing me who you were
Maybe you were just a sky to me but I'd never seen this side of you
When the sun went down, and suddenly you were no longer blue

I awake tossing and turning in these sheets of confusion.
I've been here before.
What was once a moment layered thick with ominous tones,
is now you and I under this blanket that is encompassing me
in your intoxicating smell
and assuring words.
I carry no hate nor love in this instant,
just my uncertainty of your desire to stay.