you reside in
benevolent prose,
tightly woven
to heaving ribs
not designed to
bear this weight
of losing you.

I am still learning
to not break
at the sound
of your name;
I am still learning
to persist without
your presence.

-Kathryn Paige

You are not the thoughts
that keep you up at night,
but the reasons you rise
in the morning.

-k.p//late night reminder

The most foolish thing I've ever done
is taken the word
"forever"
so seriously by such a
temporary
thing.

My therapist once told me that it was healthy to mourn the loss of a friendship as if it was a death. It's hard at first, as it should be, but "as time passes, it should heal the wound."

So for the past year, I have been spilling my heart out and crying over your "death". I've been scribbling your name on scratches of paper and setting fire to them. What my therapist never told me, was how long it would take for the wound you left, to close.

Because it has been a year, and I have acted as if you were nothing but a memory, because in reality, that's exactly what you are to me. But you are not dead. No. You have a beating heart and a life to live, and I know at any point, if you wanted to, you could come back to me.

I guess it's true that I always cared about you more. You wouldn't admit it, but you never had to. You don't live with me in my everyday life, but you're always with me in my dreams. And I've acted as if you were a ghost, but you will not stop haunting me.

I'm waiting for a "hello" that I know will never come, but that won't stop me from waiting anyways.

I'm waiting for your resurrection.

You've gotten better
while I've only gotten better
at hiding that I'm not better.

And telling you I never wanted to see you again,
was the hardest thing I think I've ever done.
I remember when you were all I saw,
and all I wanted to see.

Please come back.

And the feeling of
being trapped in complete isolation
is one I understand all too well,

but you can't expect the whole world at your feet.
Sometimes, all you have is one person,
and sometimes,
that has to be enough.

-k.w//I Want to be the One

So be your own garden.
Bloom only when you are ready,
and when you do,
dig your roots deep into the ground,
face your beauty towards the sun,
and grow.

That’s my advice.

Because when chaos breaks out,
and you’re lost in the madness your mind has brought on,
you will have planted your roots so deep into the ground,
you will not fall.
You will have support,
and you will be okay.

And when the world tries to break you,
and tell you to give up,
you will have seen the brighter side,
because you have seen the sun before,
and you know,
behind the clouds,
it’s still there,
and you will be okay.

And when life gets hard,
and the rain won’t stop pouring,
pounding down against your fragile self,
and you feel yourself about to give in,
you will grow
because our hardest battles,
tend to make us who we are.
So things will get hard,
and the world will break you,
but you will be okay.
Always.

Don’t wait for someone to plant flowers within you.
You are on your own,
and for a time you will hate that,
but you will soon realize,
you can be your own hero//

I tend to get attached to things that **** me in the end.

I wish I could say,
"I love you"
with more certainty in my voice,
and I wish I could
fall out of love,
as if it was a choice.

It was love that
brought us together,
and in the end,
it was love that
tore us apart.

-k.w