I don't know what to think anymore
I feel stuck
I'm so tired and I'm hurting deep
I don't know if I deserve what happens
I know I can speak out of turn when I get frustrated so it comes back up
A lot gets thrown in my face
It effects my self worth
I'll forgive they will be sorry again
This is the best from family I've ever known everyone else just left or constantly condoned
Will this ever get better
I wander

Do you ever have so much rage
You isolate yourself to not burn everyone else in the process

The path took me to psychology
Learning about behavior and conditioning of others
Taught me a lot about mine
Why we do what we do
Why we say what we say
Why we feel what we feel
How we direct that from ourselves to others
Why understanding is gain

The pain brought me inside myself
It was the only place to go

The more you heal
The more you can see the abuse
You learn to forgive
But see the pattern play on
The ghosting motion when they don't get what they want
The things said in jest to make you the brunt of the joke
The insecurity that lays behind their eyes
The despise of you
You mirror the truth
They don't like what they see
So they would rather remove you from view

I'm tired today
but that's ok
cause I'm birthing
my
self

The Witch the ***** the Karma Queen
The victim the abused the has been
The fool the joker the clown around town kings tell all vow
The beggar The pauper The humble or needy bellow
The King The Majestic The Power fellow
The Queen The Priestess The Empress ruler
The maiden The Mother The crone
The good man The masked
The shadow The villain
The energetic civilian
Just a few to mention