let's show the children what it is to brush our teeth and wear deodorant
halt the habits that made my fingerprints as flat as Nebraska and illegible as kindergarten drawings
own up to the grown up that started creeping out our fingernails when we realized our souls were too big for these bodies and our love wasn't a Velcro heart that could detach from a sleeve as easily as all of those parasites wanted us to believe
.we were trees. -and i was a match-
but i couldn't tell if we were huggers or lovers, could never decide if your kisses were breath mints or frost bite
i knew what i wanted you to be
i would always pretend to be a dragon in the winter, smoke escaping my nose with every exhale
but once we grew up i realized that hot air means nothing
if you never find the fire

it's like scraping the parts of yourself that you hate onto paper

-to make room for the light-

i aced my history classes
they teach you about the war in vietnam
they teach you about the revolutionary war
they teach you about the battle of the bulge
the civil war
but what
of the wars you will face within yourself?
those
are seldom talked about
people blow their own minds
up
with destructive behaviors and terrible choices
one soldier fighting both sides
the post-traumatic stress of their own human experience
hmmm?
what of those people.
what of me.

Do trees have itches they can't scratch
I mean
             The limbs that can't move against the wind
             The apple abortions each autumn
I save all of my apple cores
I see forbidden thoughts in them that no one sees in me

"And The Lord God said unto the serpent... upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life..."

Do we look down on the trees like the overgrown lego people that we are
I mean
             Snapping their branches like dry spaghetti
             Devouring the fruits of their labor
             Their body
             Our choice

"Unto the woman he said... in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children..."

I save all of my apple cores
Wonder about the curses of their parents that don't apply to me
At the hands of man the trees fall
Through Autumn the leaves fall
And their children fall as well

"In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread."

And to the tree
God said nothing.

I don't think we needed an epidural
I mean
Maybe we did afterwards, at the sight of all the afterbirth
But somehow
I feel
We didn't
And I don't think a cesarean was necessary
We sort of slipped into this other world so easily
A place all our own
But it's so sad to see how things change
How two lovers
(Born side by side, into a world they never could have imagined)
Don't even recognize each other anymore

I'm all spent
No, really
It's just that one boy wanted my love and one wanted my virtue
But I'm not sure which boy wanted what
All I know is that I'm all spent now
I mean,
I gave all my love to the first boy
And looking back
It seems all he wanted were kisses
And the second boy
Well
You can guess some of the things I gave him
But looking back
It seems that all he wanted was words of affection that kisses can't buy
I can only assume
I mean, I wasn't very good at balancing my checkbook when it all started payrolling out like this
All I know is that I'm staring at the bank account and realizing
I have nothing left to give anyone anymore

it's weird
because i saw a sign at the grocery store that says
1 out of every 5 kids in America is starving