I don't understand you
you move so strange to me
every word is a wonder

Kindness pours out of you
in waves I can't sail
I've never been to the sea

So many times I've been presented
with a shinny apple of love
but it always fell apart in my teeth

You are different than the rest
A true knight
who so wholly loves me

I never knew
I was such a coward
that I couldn't say the ****** thing out loud

but when you shut the door
and walked inside
I said it to the night instead.

*******!
just your ******* name on a screen tears me to shreds
and it means nothing
and it consumes me
because I'm not allowed to tell you any of this.

****
I want everything from you
I cant be your ******* friend.
because every smile is a splinter
and your killing me
and your killing him.
so pointless
so futile
and it never ******* ends.

I know that I sounded
so put together
when we said goodbye

you always hug me
but you can never quite
seem to meet my eyes