I am warning you, stay away from me. I am no good for you, all I will do is make you fall in love with me, worship me and compare me to every being you set your gaze on.
I am the girl you swore you would have, the woman that has featured In every ******* you have ever had  and I am the soul your heart has nightmares about.
So i warn you, turn away, face away my love because the things I will make you go through will leave a bitter taste in every morrow of your bone.
Trust me I am not worth the trouble.

you don't marry the boys that set your heart on fire mama said.
you don't give yourself to the boy that makes you lose your mind she yelled.
you don't let him feel your head with ideas that could shuttle your world mama told me.
you don't let him have all the power she cried.
Because the day you do, is the day you destroy the life inside you my sweet.
That day your legs will open wide for him and your lips will stretch far for him and your soul baby, your soul will be eaten in ways that you never knew a man could crush a being.

He treats me better than you have ever done.
He knows my fears and and doesn't  make fun of them.

Ive been with you longer and you don not even know my favorite book.
You don't even remember our anniversary(02\05\2009) but he remembers the day we met(07\10\2012)

you tell me how beautiful i am and how much you want me
He makes me feel beautiful and wanted

He makes me a priority
You treat me like dating me is job

   Am starting to think i settled and forgot my worth.

At this point i want to be hit by a bus, i want to be hit by those terrible diseases that make you lose your mind and i mean literally lose your mind!
I want to forget you. How you look, what you do, how you smell,  all i know is that i must forget you!

It seems amnesia is my only solution because if i hear one more song that reminds me of you, i swear i will go but **** crazy!  You've ruined chocolate for me and now the sight of it makes me want to rip out your poor pathetic heart! trust me i will!

I cant stand the sight of happy people or things because they just remind me of what we were! you have turned me into a cynical psychotic *****! so if i remember one more thing about you, i will turn 50 shades of Leilah on you!

I am only afraid of three things in this world, God, The Russians and Jail! seeing that am ready to turn ****** ****** on your ***, pray i get amnesia!

big lips,small eyes,fat arms, love handles, short feet; that's me!    
big teeth, black spots, short legs,***** hair; i know!
      flawed, imperfect,loud,quite,brown,; you can tell!
but do i hate myself? no! do i sit wishing i could change everything i hate about me? i used to.
why have i changed my mind? i believe everything that is flawed about me is perfect. if i changed all that was flawed, i wouldn't be me and i love me.

i am perfectly flawed and i wouldn't have it any other way

FIDELITY?  I've always been a strong believer in fidelity until i met him.
He was nothing like the other men, there was an aura about him that pulled you to him, the man was an enigma, sexuality had never been so portrayed by a man but this man was special!
ADULTERY! This man had charmed his way into my life and boy did i not know what i was in for! He was married yes, i was entertaining young men yes but i was overwhelmed by my feelings for him that i embraced it and loved the fact that he was married and i had a man, men? i really didn't care.
*******! The first time he took me was on his office table, we didn't make love, all we did was ****, he was rough and would say the nastiest things, i felt like a ***** and i loved it. he wouldn't even bother closing the door, made it more intense. we would be at it for hours but still, i wanted his filthy **** after we were done, plunging in so deep, filling me with his seed, spending time in his office in the pretense of working. Well he was working me and i was rocking his ****.
LUST? Lust was all i felt for him, it wasn't love. i wasn't so gullible to think so because when i woke up i couldn't even remember his name. maybe it was a dream showing me how the other half lived.........

why does it hurt so bad at times.
Like little charms on a bracelet so are the scars engraved on heart.
                 I am tired of getting hurt or being the one everyone hurts.
You would think i would be used to it by now but no am not, the pain seems to get worse with each year.
                 I try to play cool, calm n collected, the young woman that deals                      
                 with it all but i can only carry on with the facades for so long.
Don't you ever stop to think that you destroy whats left of my goodness every time you harm me?
                  I just one an apology, is that so much to ask for?
Not an apology with an excuse but with sincerity, tell me am i asking for much or do i just want to feel human again...........................