I was told it would end in pain,
That I would regret what I had done,
I was messing around it was part of the fun.
I stuck it to my head,
My hair will never look the same,
I stuck it to my belly multiple times,
I had red marks,
Like I'd been stung a thousand times.
I tickled my foot,
Laughter was erratic and rather loud,
I joked and put it on my lips,
Wrong move there red and swallow now.
I thought it a joke by putting it on my piece,
Don't worry its off no harm to my man meat,
Then to my horror the dog jumped up,
And on went the switch.
My laughter was short lived,
As it was on suction,
Not blowing it out.
It felt good for a second,
Pleasure a two second smile,
Then it ****** up my bits meat vegetables and all,
I screamed out in pain,
The dog chasing the meat as it went up the spout.
Now my name is renowned for the ****,
He lost his bits and his *****,
They were stitched back on,
But know I will not go near the hover,
Traumatised by what it did to my privates,
Its under the stairs
I use a brush on the floor now.