I remember meeting him quite precisely
Your grandfather: Thanksgiving of 2012
He lived alone, in a house he owned
And built, by hand, family dwelled

I heard some stories
War glories
The second one that rocked the world
Gentle and kind, he left behind
His normal life and special girl

As I approached the door, I was met
With the sweetest, loving grin
Glasses donned, he led us on
Into the house to sit with him

Inside he told me of his passed wife
And the room he kept for her
Of her artwork and clothing
Ready, if she could ever return

The night passed by like honey
Nostalgic and syrup-sweet
The kind you remember distinctly five years from then
Ones you wish to repeat

He waved us off in his way
Standing at the door
Feathering his hand back and forth
Until the house could be seen no more

I had seen him twice or so more
Until you and I parted for a time
But I always asked of him as I could
Even though I didn't think I should

I heard he gave you grief
For parting from me
At his 90th birthday party
We had something special, he could see

On Thanksgiving, five years later
You and I reconciled
And he came down for a meal,
And I was met again with his smile

I tried to see him as much
As I could because I knew
Sometimes elderly people get lonely
And I would want visitors too

Then he fell ill from the hospital
And so it commenced
The decline of his health
Months of agonizing suspense

Until this week
I drove three hundred and twenty miles
To see him before he passed
To see one of his last smiles

It happened hours after I arrived
I got to say goodbye
I told him I was there, I made it
I saw him and I cried

He could not do much, but he could hear
He could barely even see
And as I let him know I loved him
His last words were his love for me

You sobbed as he said he loved me
You could see him struggle to speak
You told me to move a bit away
As you whispered your intent of someday marrying me

He passed there with us all
Surrounded by love, covered in prayer
The doctors were amazed by our presence
That so many people were there

A day or two later we wrote of him
How can you paraphrase a full life?
Of his war time stories and his glories
Of his loving kids and wife

In the survived by part is where they wanted
To include me but did not know where
To call me a friend didn't seem fitting
For all of the love and care

So you took the computer and put me in
Where you felt like I needed to a part of
Being married was signified with parenthesis
So you wrote next to you (Someday Careena)

It is not significant by any means
But yesterday I hurt my toe
It bled and is still sore
I almost said on the phone

And I almost disclosed
How my fitbit is precisely
Two days, three hours, and twenty seven minutes off
In time to wake me up at 4:33 am
Wednesday through Sunday
And to turn it off
I must walk
Half asleep, tripping over crumpled clothes
In the dark
And most days I must do it twice
Because it doesn't believe my feigned woken state

I almost said how I think of you
And miss being able to spend all day
Inseparable and evergreen
Sometimes I ache to think of how far
I put myself away from you
Constantly
But when I mention the aching
I am met with an "It's okay"
But it feels the opposite way

And just yesterday, as I gave it more thought
To something I forgot,
Something I had been scared to ever feel
Palpable and real
With a wide open heart, I concurred
That I could be happy anywhere in the world
If you and I were together
I forgot how I used to be
How the sheer thought of needing someone else
Has terrified me

I don't feel as alone
I almost said on the phone
I don't feel as without
I am enjoying the time by myself

These things are by no means
Things you absolutely had to know
But things I had hoped to share
I know you are busy
I know you care
But I wanted you to know
I had more to say on the phone

I wish I could tell you of every
Passing thought I forgot
To write down
The ones that escape like Bobby pins
On a slick bathroom sink
Oh I wish you could know the same
Every phrase
All those days
That compiled together
Formed the rubber band ball at my center
Able to be stretched three hundred and forty seven miles
And still not snap
I wish you knew
All I thought of you

I said I hadn't seen
The same love since
It promptly folded its newpaper
Picked up its hat
And departed
Path uncharted
Unsure of return or existence

I found him again
As he quietly unfolded the Sunday paper
Sipped his watered down diner coffee
Silently entered into the chambers of my heart
Same place and manner as the start

Love, to me, is an elderly man
Worn and tried
Tender and wise
With companionship
And twinkling eyes

And I know him again
How I thought myself deranged
For loving you all these years
In my heart, nothing changed

I tried to take notes before you left
Mentally scribbling down asides
The toughness of your hands
Compared to the soft skin of mine

Blocking out the sunlight
Pulling covers over your head
Pretending that it's night
Is what it's like when we're in bed

Letting me out of the car under-roof
Needing not to brace the rain
You are a different man now
Warm-hearted, patient, unfeigned

We have the same soreness like picture day
From smiling with our teeth for so long
We almost forget what it's like to frown
Until it has passed and you're gone

It drizzled as you looked at me
Got in your car and said goodbye
This is not our first parting
But it is like that every time

Hair pony-tailed, tight up against my head
Almost as snug as us, supine in my bed
I am long past drifted
Dreams in and out sifted
Covers covered, pretenses shed

A chill brushed over me, sleepily
Eyes flutter open and admiringly
I gaze at you curled up next to me
Heart filled so full, busting at its seam
You are peacefully breathing, this is no dream

Blankets shuffled to your side
Undesiring to wake you, I quietly confide
"Baby, I'm a little bit cold"
Your eyes pop right open and you promptly fold
Me up in the blankets, you hold me so tight
I wish this is how I could spend every night