Today, like many days
My special friend in study hall
Asks me why I am not dating you

He tells me that when we broke up
It broke his heart
Because he loved us being together

So he recently told me
That while he knows
We are with other people

He has been secretly
Or not so secretly
Trying to get us back together

By telling each other
When we are near
In hopes that we will talk

Now, this is extremely embarrassing
Considering I am very awkward around you
And you don't want to see me anyway

But I put up with it
Because I love him
And I know you do too

He told me that he wants us to be together
Because he said he loves me
And he loves you too
Even though you are a "womanizer" who drives a gas guzzler

And he wants the two people
He loves
To love each other

But every time He says this
I have to remind him
That not everything is perfect

Like how he says sometimes Tesla cars catch on fire
Despite their fuel efficiency
And stylish appearance

And even though University of Kentucky
Has an amazing basketball team
They still have 92% coal emissions

I see them pass by
All the exits on the highway that could lead to you
I'm mentally driving myself to your house
At four in the morning
So I can crawl in your bed
And sleep until the sun peaks over the hills

So I can feel your warmth under the covers
And feel you breathing beside me
That way I can tell you when we wake
How proposing to take a break
Broke me

I could tell it in your eyes first
It was those eyes that said I did some thing
Something terribly wrong
Something I immediately regretted when it escaped from my lips
I said I wanted this weekend to think
As a break from our hectic week
And your eyes dropped
Because you knew
Not many couples come out of breaks alive
I should know, it happened to me too

But I said it, it came out
And I said how I felt the whole week
That we were flirting with the boundary of
Being in a relationship
That every day, I compared our relationship to being sick
How many times would we dry heave before throwing up?
And you were genuinely surprised
Because in your eyes, we were just getting our feelings out
So we could work through them

And in that moment, I knew
You inspire me
Like you say I inspire you
You inspire me to keep trying
To keep going
Because, like you say, a relationship requires work and sacrifice
"Love is not easy, but when I look into your eyes, it is all worth it"

And in the stupidest of moments
The ones where we are just goofing off
Or the ones where we are screaming at each other
Because I am not afraid to yell
You taught me to express how I feel
I can honestly say that you make me feel Like myself
I am not pretending to be another person around you
I can sing along to the radio in the car
And you will tell me that you love my voice
You cover me when I get cold
Because you legitimately care about me
You ask my opinion on things and love my mind
I can look at you and see why I am with you
Because we suit each other well
You are my best friend

The room is spinning
Why can't it just stand still?
For a simple moment
Can't we fixate on the fact
That we love each other
Rather than meaningless things in life?

She is captivating:
She is my pet,
She is my fire,
My little nymphet.

Annabel, dearest, of sea-word waves,
Of sandcastles torn down by hungry waters.
Even now, the scepter of my passion
Stands at attention with memory.

As Humbert ages, his desire stays
Grown ladies don’t suffice.
As he dreams of Annabel in sea-word waves,
Nymphets become his vice.

But I am no liar--I am no ******
Ladies and gentleman of the jury, be calm.
And recognize that Humbert’s eyes
See your every qualm.

Nevertheless, she is captivating:
She is my pet
She is my fire
My little nymphet.

Your love for me
Is hanging by
A fraying thread

We loved like we invented loving
Like I was the first girl to ever want to fall asleep
Smelling your shirt on my pillow
Like you were the first boy to ever
Want to hold my hand
We were insatiable and unstoppable
But then again, I guess we weren't
If we stopped eventually

I see my little brother experience middle school
And I can't help but think of you and me
How much I loved you then

He talks about clubs
And I see myself drawing in my club
Looking out the doorway to see you
Standing there, taking pictures of me for photography club

Oh how I loved you then
That sweet boy of --twelve, was it?--
It felt like we were so grown up and knew everything about life
We were ready for everything, it seemed

I remember praying every night in seventh grade
That you would like me
Because your love was something I had always wanted
More than anyone else's

I remember being in girl scouts
And not being able to talk to you because I was selling cookies
Only to look up, and there you were!
You made your dad drive all the way over to the far mall
To buy cookies from me, but told him you wanted to go to Chick Fil-A
I could hardly make change for two boxes, I was so enamored

I remember Skyping for six whole hours
While shaking secretly from my side of the camera
Wondering if you felt the same way about me
As I always had about you
Until you finally asked if I still felt the same
Of course I did, I always have

I remember being in the planetarium in eighth grade
Secretly holding your hand in the darkness
Feeling little shivers run up my arms
Every time you squeezed my fingers

I remember our first kiss
Stopping after at Lito's pizza
Those special memories
That belong only to us

To put it in perspective,
That is why it has been so hard
To let you go
Because I remember these things
And I flash back to us when he tells me about middle school,
It's hard to not fall in love with the idea of us all over again

So as I look at you now
Six years later, these memories come back
And that's why it's hard
To look at you
Because I could barely believe
The single thing I wanted to continue on forever
Ended

So how do you truly forget your first love?
If your love was true?