i still remember the amount of butterflies that pounded my chest the first time i saw you
i counted each one to make sure none of them were lying
you looked at me like i had just changed the equilibrium of your universe
and talked to me so gently i had to read into every word
each word was like a novel, more interesting then the last
you told stories about passion, love, and loyalty
but managed to giggle your way through each stanza
while i just stood there, waiting for the time i could throw in my two cents
but your words were more like dollars, even larger bills
you were so rich with so much excitement, i couldn't help but think
i wonder if this person could ever love someone like me

i played the lottery for 1 week straight, hoping that my ticket would get me a plane seat with the destination being your heart
see i could have flown to fuji, hawaii or any of those places, but you were much more beautiful then any white sand beneath my feet
luckily when i sat down that night to watch the news and they called out my number
i jumped out of my seat and tried to pack as small as possible
because i knew that this was gunna be an adventure
but i had to have more room for you then for me

ever since then, i cherished everytime i get to look in your eyes.
everytime you wrapped your fingers around mine,
i feel like a baby covered in fresh sheets
tucked in so tightly that there was no possible way I couldn't have a good sleep
oh i love how you sleep, your lips so plump i can tell you kiss the dreams that make you feel happy
how you curl up against me, thinking i was pillow
but I just sit there, watching you, loving you and missing you even though your still here.

being the only one left on the planet that is neither a **** or a politician, both of which are only good for ******* people
2. waking up naked in the middle of the street
3. both of those happening at once
4. not finishing lists
5. jumping off my roof, breaking every single bone in my body and ultimately crushing my stupid brain because i thought i could swing like spider-man and being bit by any type of spider is not exactly how its works i guess
6. you thinking i no longer have super powers ...
7. going to the theatre to see the sequel or sequel sequel or sequel sequel sequel or whatever it's at now of spider-man and you leaving because you loved the original
8. me being the sequel
9. singing john lennon's "imagine" in the car but you taking the line "imagine all the people" way too seriously
10. buying a photo album and only having pictures of when we picked out the perfect pumpkin at halloween and you called me your pumpkin
11. going to my favourite cafe and seeing you and your new pumpkin... spice latte
12. being eaten alive by jealousy
13. my neighbours dog was named jealousy
14. choking
15. by being force fed the fact you can see someone else and i can't do it
16. having to do cpr on myself even though you're trained
6. you thinking i no longer have super powers
17. dying without my sidekick
6. you thinking i no longer have super powers
18. i kind of feel that way too
6. you thinking i no longer have super powers
19. death by torture
20. by my very own needles, that pinned that places we wanted to go on the map, piercing the the spaces in between my ribs causing
21. my heart to deflate even though i thought it was protected by this boney jail sell
22. what's a superhero without a heart?
23. a villian
24. you still seem like you fight for the good side but dip your toes in
25. the dark side
26. the villains always lose especially when it comes to
27. love life, has any one of them had
28. a wife, if so its never been
29. showing itself
30. minutes of my favourite tv show is all i get but
31. you don't air anymore
32. saying  "i wish you were' but
33. not the pink floyd song
34. im a different kind of writer
35. and in this story the villain would become good
36. he also would get the girl
37. the girl
38. not the city and colour song either
39. would be the final scene where i'm wrapping ropes around my ankles and dangling myself from the roof top
40. is an exception... because I'm not afraid to have all i'm worth fall from my pockets and have you kiss me like Lois Lane

God, what have you done?
Leaving me to hang from the rafters of the sky
Waving at passer-bys who have expressions like nuns

Like the recording of ours hearts on vinyl
My mind spins and your voice is the needle
Every time you open your mouth the song skipped
I thought it was a coincidence
Thus, it unfolded before me like a sin

There's cracks of lies on your inner thighs
A sculpture of perfection weathered because of decision
A girl with a cigarette to her lips is a sign of such
Underlying problems covered by much;
Covered by smoke;
And covered by lust...

Yet, her lips continue to lock to easiest solution
Maybe it be the illusion of fake religion;
Praying to the bottle, and praising to a man;
and still shes left behind smothered in her hands
Her tears drip just like oceans meet the sands

Who are you to break every bone in my body? she asks
as shes strips away from the cloths of who used to be somebody
Now, her mind seems dry
Withered and unable to make another lie

*So, God help her to lift of her hands, wipe of the tears, and find another man

My skin left pierced;
From the gripping bite of your cold voice
Over top your cigarette breath you words still stunk

A lion-heart with a lying heart

You promised the waves of our love would never reach shore;
Instead you dumped me into shallow waters
Lying face down and still not standing...
My feet can't lock onto the drifting sands of your comfortability
so I stay there, trying to swim to my next lover
trying over and over;
...but drownings much easier

The more I turn blue, I cant seem to tell if my emotions are bursting through my skin
or the hypothermia from within.
My mind starts ticking;
My insanity seeps through but I believe it true
That once this clock strikes 12 that you'll be attached by another mouth

The boat we were once on together is drifting away
a simple memorial of true lovers lost
can't find the directions to each others heart
but hope for the best while were apart

*One day, I pray you'll float back here in my dieing last breath
and save me from my misery that you cause since.

My heart leaps out of my chest with ever pulse. There's little to no pain putting it back in, compared to missing your touch. Though, it's a miracle that my heart beats anyways. What was a vibrant red heart is now more of dry black disease that settles in my body. I can see the black pain travel through my veins when the thought of you gets overwhelming. Now, neither of my five sense know your here; neither you and I have active hearts. So, we make childish excuses for a grown up problem. See, if I was a child again my heart wouldn't be black. I wouldn't have this trench coat of what could be covering my back. Only fifty more days 'til we see each other again like this was just another one of our preschool recess games. I feel more of a thief then I do of boyfriend; cause I stole your heart and told you  to leave. Not that I wanted, but for some reason you had to. You see, being not in the same town and not being bound tight by the same sheets under lamplight made its mark. Though I know your the antidote for this disease referred to a "missing your lover". Once the timer stops and these days are over, we'll be joined by not just arms but hearts, cause that was the hardest part. Our hearts will be active and my senses will know you, I'll feel less blue and remember why I chose you. I'll grab you by your hips and we can finally kiss with our grown up lips. Distant is horrid but your like a portrait that I can look at forever and never get bored of. Babe, I'm sorry for this pain but no ones to blame, and I love you like no one else could even explain.

-K.V.

The more that we talk the more I'm attracted
The only probelm is I'm not that romantic
I'm just a simple man with a single heart
Not much I could do when were this far apart
You mean the calls we have are way too short,
Becasue theres never enough time to say what you want,
Like if I could I would stay on forever
Because you are the reason why I'm under the weather
If me is what you want then please do say it,
Cause if it was  I would also admit it
  
Your eyes sparkle like the stars in the sky
And if I could I would gracefully grab each one
Becuase there the closest thing  to you I could find
Although I do this, my mind is unsettled
Because there has to be more that resemebles
The perfect face they once promised
But I prayed that whoever is upstairs will give the person the bears the same feeling
And links not just our arms but hearts and will help me through the hardest parts
God chose me and you to be the ones to say our dues
So grab my hand and hold on tight
Because this is goin to be one wild fight

From the beginning I trusted you, but in end I rejected you
Because the demons inside shined bright in the night
Sadly, we only hung out at night...
When your world was already dizzy
Mine was too busy to understand the reasons why
So my mind decided that a marathon was stunning
I only thought of you but it managaed to keep running
In this case 28 k but seemed like 28 days
Becuase as you know you just dont run the race
Theres many days of planning and exercise just in case

Now, my heart beats out of rythem
Becuase of the precision of your desicion
Your words seemed kind but in my mind I knew that they hurt
Like you grabbed my heart, played with it, put it back and left it in parts
Since then my left atrium doesnt work
Its like a inncoent whale that was left to die in the beach dirt
And i was simply that... innocent dirt
What had I done previous to this that made you act outrageous?
But now I know your contagious
A disease that brings you one step closer death
But now im just once step closer to home I guess

Home.  A intanglment of feeling like the fibers in my sheets
I thought it was a place of love but then relized its just a place to meet
My mother was a weird one. Often pressing burdens on her son
A seperated family with nothing in commom is definatly more common then Nostradomeous
To say I love quotes would be close but theres some that make me simply choke
Remember when "like father like son" was an inpiration quote but for me its what kept me a float
On the sea of hatred with the destination of dope
Becuase of the words my mother chose, addiction would be my affliction
A state of pain my mother, father, sister and brother could not feel
Yes, this is the shittest deal, but look at me now
A person ontop with the world as my partner,
Ambition like a morning light because I had the will to fight
Only you can make a change your life, not your mother, drugs and neither your wife.

Brought up by the stain of my surnames identity
I wiped away my face to see the mask of my vulnerability
I scrounged up the pieces to make this body whole
So, does this body still seem deficient like its told?
Repetition of mistakes, my benevolence believes
Brought up by love but then left to just leave
like the horizons where too distant for me to reach
thus, I pose pondering whats easy to achieve
Not because ambitions were little and in between
but because the sea bed was given the name beauty queen
Something no one else sees is known to be prettier then me
So, I'm left to subjection, my minds yearning to plead

Each rain drop seems to burn my skin as it lands
It wouldn't be the same if it didn't.
You see, I listen to indie music just to cheer me up,
because each note played resembles a minor
Though, the rhythm of my soul was a minor part of yours

Unsuitable; like the jeans that covers my chilled skin in the summer
your presence collided with mine like fireflies.
Bright enough to blind me from beauty,
you stole the integrity right from the words that slide through my teeth;
left me in the midsummer euphoria
but was striped enough to not see whats beneath

Not too sure if it's your words that left marks;
must have been that bite of your psyches shark.
Hot sand that seems to burn my feet but still I stand in the residual heat
because there I know my pain is real;
not some story my heart tries to feel

Now that the night approaches, I hold my breath
just so I can deal with the complications I see starting to peel
off your jacket and into the sand;
*so others can see the troubles we left abandoned

I say, "when you left, half my body went with you";
I can't walk with one leg, cant breathe with one lung
So, how do you expect me to survive a minimal of 2 months

Now there's just a print where your body once laid
My sheets can't cover the canyon it displays
A hole where my heart is, a hole in my home
You once kissed my chest below my collarbones

Now the demons from within come crawling out
The firmly grab onto my skin and screech with the mouths
They howled your name but I did the same
I simply just wanted you back again

Now since their settled I sympathize their pain;
The warmth of your heart, your hand and your sweater
Seemed to be the only thing that'd make them sane
You babysitted their hearts as well as mine
Knowing that after much time they'd have to combine
Without hesitation in your exquisite mind,
You felt you'd chisel the marble of this dismantled body
And somehow turn it into the works of Antonio Gaudi

I looked between the sheets
to see if I could see your feet
Something that once was there; disappeared
Couldn't even find a single hair;
For proof you were there

Must have vanished in mid-air
Amongst the others who were just as fair
But managed to lay their head in another home
Who laid comfortably beside others bones
For proof you were scared

Now there's a lie wrapped around your finger
Married to another but your feeling still linger;
Your smile still flickers as I look in the mirror
Where I used to grab your hips in sensual bliss
For proof you loved, then lied, then sailed another ship...

Your ship missed port and now your bagging for more
But how can I love when I'm ripped up and torn;
Although, these open doors give me sight of fool's paradise;
these legs don't move after you taken them as your prize
Even when you left I still saw me on you
For proof that my mind is delusional too
Cause all this drama is emphasized by me
Crafted by a simple mind and vocalized by a feign

She takes her nightmare home;
It shifted and breathed deep
As it sheltered itself in the cave beneath
The cloud on which she stood
And down in the sheets under her feet.

It duplicated her lovers face;
A beast at least
She tries to cuddle in
But it seems absurd to find warmth
Next to a man who just beats
From the pounding of his heart through to his fist
Where intoxicated swings meet you in defeat

Still she has no reason to leave
Because at dawn she hides her bruises with cloth
And paints her scars with makeup
Even though he doesn't have enough devotion to her to make up

Now this man walks the streets to find his next lover
While her bones lay next to the fire
Berried under the soil because his heart was spoiled;

A bright girl with golden pearls left as a lesson;
And god bless such a confession

You see, Her heart shined brighter then all
But was pushed back because of withdrawal

My tongue glides up the side of your neck.
As it pulls off,
it catches a tear at the end.
I rub your thighs to dry your eyes,
a welcoming touch;
that does more then just welcomes.
it holds the fingers that excite you;
the ones that make your body jump,
towards the heavens when hour runs late.
Your skin like glass
but your touch much more soft
like the sheets wrapped around your fingers
comfort me after it all;
after the fall;
cause neither the bed nor I can handle this love
so it throws us to the floor for one last folly
my lips push harder and my hands grip tighter
For your body's like an angel;
A ****** so blissful

A journey of impurity seems to be my affectation
My behavior that is meant to impress others, isn't an expectation
But for me I need to feel welcome...
Wrap me up in the sheets of complecion and pour water amongst my pours
So something about my body can appear clean and be adored

A bruised body and a bandaged heart splits me apart
like a little child living amongst the park
trying to make new friends
but hes different from the others...

He tries to mend the seems of his character;
but even when hes done his imperfections shine louder
and still when he grows up everything's the same;
he will be called coward, loser, and a bunch of other names

Nothing he does seems to be ordinary;
It's for the people without a character anyway
*Because if I were that boy I'd let my inspiration blossom through the day
And be the person that makes me who I am today

I cry as our fingers slide apart;
Wrapped up in a cloth blanket drenched with tears
But held tightly because of fear;
Fear that you'd never come back
Fear that you'd change if you did
But as of now I dream of holding you in
Firmly against my skin so neither of us would be hot nor cold
Because in our presence its prefect...
Not a discrepancy I could name
Not a thing I would change;
For you are the reason I'm sane;
What could I do if you didn't come back; I'm hopeless in fact
Thus, I'm not the same when we're back to back
Your face is everything and your feelings the same
*Do please come back in time I tried to explain

four blinks, to ensure myself of my surroundings
my jeans seemed cold and unsure of it belongings
inside, lay metal even colder then my denim
even sharper then your punishing words
even more sickening then your venom

quick twitch and a deep breath...
I look up but can't hold up my head;
in the sink I see red.
my mom, she's asleep in the next room
but I'm here sweeping up my feelings with an emotional broom

I dont remember why I did this?
but my wrists sure do remember
you see, I did this cause I thought I'd feel better
instead I'm here with regret I have to clean up before morning

cause If I didn't, they'd know
know I'm crazy, know I'm sick
know that beneath this skin lay a blade of its own
ready to burst out and find a new home
in you, you inconsiderate *****

You lay cloth on my lips
cause if you didn't;
my words wouldn't be comfortable to hear
I brush my teeth 3 times to ensure my lips don't taste like beer
its almost like a fear, that if you caught me I wouldn't be here
for you to lay down this cloth
for you to listen when I talk
to be like John Lennon, without the pistol cocked

explain to me.
explain to me how peace causes pieces of people to wash up on shores no where near their homes.
explain to me
explain to me how children not old enough to make decisions suffer from your ignorance
explain to me,
someone please ******* explain to me why white people have blacker souls then dirt they say they're protecting
exactly, you can't, cause war is build off opinions
and what we lack in power we gain in racism
this was never a mid-east crisis, this is anti-christ toying with personal crisis
because if you loved you neighbour as yourself you'd be floating dead in the sea as well.
now your silent. its funny how it doesn't matter when its not about you
its funny how countries can watch this like olympics games but
not realize that theres only one winner
and in this game, its the last man standing
explain to me
explain to me how you can hate someone that is everything you are
just in a different suit and different complexion
explain to me
explain to me how people in suits study how to speak to people but can't even use their own words
explain to me
can you explain
*holy crap this world ****** me off

you're 12
and you hand out flyers welcoming people to your body like you were 21
letting people feel the curves that should only mold to one person
at your age, your aloud to be immature
immature and I'm mature are not the same word even though they may seem like it from a quick glance
but maybe you're taking a chance
a chance to feel special, but thats the problem
you were special once those baby eyes blinked
now your trying to find a home in someone that can only make you sink
you tell me "i've only had one dog in my life so i haven't really had a chance to love on my own"
but now your all alone, looking for those feeling that are associated with love
but you just end up ******* and ******* up

but everything is okay.....

just because you slipped on the ice of life
doesn't mean you will never skate again
you have two feet that work
two arms that hug
and the ambition to make it better
so i plead to you, things will be better
just look in the right spots

everyday at 8:00am sharp, i see the same tiny, tired faces walk 2 blocks south just to get more confused then when they started the day
i wondered how many of these faces would grow up to be politicians
how many would grow up to be doctors
and how many would grow up to still be confused
emmett a young boy that just lives three houses down the street
stopped me on my way to work
he asked me "how come my parents yell at each other?"
not thinking about he said, i responded "go ask your mother"
and continued on my walk.
i pressed play on my iPod to only have loud bangs startle me
and glanced behind me only to see boulders of tears fall from the boys face
the night before i fell asleep watching the animal channel and remembered the young gazelle that was violently eaten because his parents weren't there to protect him
emmett, unprotected, fell to his knees, dropped his head back and cried out like it was the skies fault for this feelings
i couldn't help but be afraid, i heard the anger of his voice mimic his parents bed time stories from behind his closed door
like father like son, what you learn is what you practice
and i could tell that what he was learning was more from home then in the classroom
i wrapped my arms around him, three times over
so he could be closer to a beating heart then he has in months
the earthquake of his tiny nerves dropped from about a 10 on the Richter's scale down to about a 6.3
therefore i knew that i was comforting more then i was strangling this boy against my chest
i whispered, what you feel is okay
what you know if not all to life
there's more then just bomber planes that fly over your families unity
love doesn't normally involve being a prisoner to your bedroom
and certain doesn't involve yelling at the one you planned forever with
his eyes looked up at me like two rays of sunlight peaking through the rain clouds and said "so there's hope"
i never heard three words so sad but so reassuring
ecstatic in his conclusion, i yelled "YES OF COURSE" but obviously with much more enthusiasm then he's use to
he untangled himself from my net, and opened his backpack
he pulled out a piece of construction paper that read "tank you for your helb"
although there was no "h" in the word thank and there was a b instead of a p, i got what he meant
he said i made this for my teacher but i want you to have it
you help me dry my tears so my friends don't think i'm weird
and theres always more crayons in classroom anyways

since then we've walk every day to school together
and that piece of so perfectly written construction paper now hangs in the office of a doctor.

i know the truth
if you do, don't tell it
cause i feel alone in a room full of people
people that sting much like bees once their mouths get the courage to open

the walls,
they are welcoming enough to let me lean on them
but move once i trust them
so i dont trust anymore

like roses, trust can be beautiful at times
but bite you once you try to reach for them
my finger tips still bleed from all the times i've tried
when i think of you,
i pluck out a thorn each time to remind me of the pain you left behind

but that's just it, it's behind you
you moved on. you don't care
while i'm just here trying to clean the hair from the drain so the water can flow again

your picture still hangs in the same place
not centered, cause you weren't the type for details
but neither in a place that would cause me to move it
im afraid that if i take it down, the dust will make me sniffle
so intensely that my mother will coming running to see if i'm ill
then i'd have to explain to her why you dress is still laid out on the bed from the night you never showed up

i wouldn't like that,
i hide from things, hide from confessions
confessions that make me feel like this
but i always feel like this

so why am i still hiding?
shouldn't i know how to deal with it by now
shouldn't i be comfortably numb
shouldn't i just...... stop for a second
breath,
take time for me,
understand my language
instead of decoding the character i call "love"

they say love isn't a game,
but how come i'm always checking for my mate like it was chess
checking through the little peep hole in the door for 7 hours at a time
cause that was your favourite number,
and if you were to show up then it would be perfect timing

you're perfect in that way,
that's why i'm waiting for that moment
the moment the door opens wide
and the dress is put back on

Let it consume you.
do it, I dare you.
Let the wall you hide behind fall,
so you can see the true you
express whats thought, without subjection
and do whats needed despite societies reflection.