Your teeth lay in rows and your body rests on its toes.

Like a coffee shop you pay for what you get,
but i'm tired of paying for what I want to forget.

Looking back into your eyes,
I'd forgive all the lies.

It's something they never wanted to tell us in school,
that love consists of more then two sides.

People wearing masks of love but I can tell they're not fine.
There must be a underlying problem that continues to arise.

Even though it's dark I can still see those tears,
feel those wet cheeks and hear the cries of your fears.
****** screams, piercing my ears.

Your lips taste like cherry and you're ready to marry.
But ****, you're a burden just too heavy to carry.

So I open my door 24 times a day
hoping that the next hour would feel ok.
Hoping that your face would once appear...

My dear, I feel like you should just live here.
Away from those busy streets and into my bed,
where you can lay your head and banish these burdens.

See if this happpend I guess we could marry.
With no more burdens for me to carry..
Your fingers match mine, so isnt that a sign,
that you and me will be just fine?

You know I'm sick and not exactly prefect,
but to you that doesn't mean I'm deserted.
I hate you, but I love that you're true.
I love that I hate and love that it's you.

Bipolar reactions , but you knew this.
So just understand that not all my feelings are bliss,
they change from time to time.
But one thing stays,
you'll always be mine
and will kiss these faded eyes when they're blind.

Sorry if this was way too much.
*But I don't regret a word, it's your heart they're meant to touch.

I gave her a book of poems
for her birthday.

And an eraser.

Not that the graphite words
were exceptionally poignant
but I felt that a gift
with a little something
scribbled on it
would be a bit more personal
than one that’s unblemished.

Even though the letters were destined
to be as fleeting
as those on sand,
even though the waves were the gentle
graceful strokes of her fingers,
even though it was a sanitisation
that could have easily been avoided
had she chosen me
over him,
I wrote them.

Because I knew that like scars
the tiny indentations would stay
and her beautiful fingertips
would feel them
if she ever chose
to run them over the page
while thinking of me.

If she’s ever thinking of me.

So I wrote with a pencil
and didn’t flinch
when my affection was reduced to
little grey globs of synthetic rubber.

“For my dearest       , Love Anjuman”
was all that I’d written, anyway.

Last night you poured out on the bed,
drained the lies from your mind, and cleared your head.
Cleansing tears, washing away fears,
promising to be the man I’ve deserved for years.
Methods of destruction, from your drawers to the trash.
Setting fire to the old, till all that remained was ash.
Starting new, this time for good;
putting me first, like you know you should,
loving yourself more then you previously could.  

Because this time,
you got it right.
This time,
you know it’s worth the fight.

And there is a light at the end of this road.
You have so much beauty, just ready to be showed.
Like a raincloud, just ready to explode, and I love it.

Every piece of you.

Can’t you see your brokenness is perfect to me?

I’ll love you through the fall,
withdrawal.
Help you break down each wall,
close call.
Until you are that man I know you can’t hide.
The greatest recovery of all; The man inside.

Sometimes I dream, as I look in the mirror at my reflection
That the outside of me, could reflect the inner me, without subjection
to these pre-set minds, the ones who hide like swine, behind the maze of vines
in the jungle, which we call our normal human minds.
Is it really normal to judge not the mind, but the outside?

What would it be like, a different esteem, A different team?
Sometimes I dream. But for now... I wonder what this misery means.
What's it like, to be so great, and so free?
Who would see me, or even, just let me be seen?
What it means to me, to see, and let others be seen
Is that I think of me, who just wishes, that he could be seen
not as mean, or lean, or a fighting machine,
But as someone to love, 'cause for me, that love's the only dream

I'll never be her
the way her skin unfolded under your candy hands
I'll never look that beautiful
My eyes won't close for your tongue the way hers did
and I won't collide like blowing winds the way she did
I won't collapse from the pressure of your hands on my temples
I won't forget the scent of your skin
I will never be her

I won't give you all the things you are so accustomed too
because I was accustomed to them too
I won't whisper my secrets to the wind and know you'll hear them
I won't cross fourteen borders and drive down dark alleyways
to find your soul for you
I can't be her
but I'd still cross a million oceans, fly a thousand planes
just to see your smile one more time
but I won't ever be her
I won't gawk at the things you do
but I'll get angry when you forget about dinner
or forget my birthday
But I won't hold it against you forever
I won't remind you of your mistakes over and over
I will remind you you're beautiful
the most beauty I've ever seen in a man
But I won't be her

But I will be this
I will be the one to wipe the snowflakes off your cheeks
for every Christmas I get to keep you
and I will hold your hand through every hallway
alleyway, tear and dream
I will kiss your holy temples and run with you through glory pastures
I will be the moon under your feet
and the most beautiful love you could ever imagine
until you fall for something else
or until you don't
I will never be her
But I will always love you

There isn't much keeping us away,
from each other I mean.
It's not like we are in prison,
there are no chains here.
So why are we not touching?
Why are you there and I'm still
not?
If tomorrow isn't guaranteed,
which I am told true,
I'd rather be walking, thinking, breathing
next to you.  
Let my love be the bridge that your feet trust.
Because there isn't much keeping us away.
All that's between us,
it's only air.

I can’t trust my own body.
My mind craves food,
but my stomach throws it back at me.
Thirty seconds of uncontrolled rejection.
Fifty-two of unhealthy affection.
Staring in the mirror,
my mind hates what it sees.
And my eyes turn away because each one agrees.
Thinking one thing, then doing another.
Wanting a best friend, but needing a mother.
Pain isn’t the problem,
I can take quite a lot.
But my mind is against me,
injecting poison with every thought.

Felt almost happy today, forgetting this wreck.
Until you came back and kissed scars onto my neck.
Counted up my bruises, one for each day.
Knowing that some, won’t ever be going away.