They always said it like it was a sin and I never believed them
I hand picked you out of a sea of people
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I could see your eyes
So clearly from miles away and I wanted nothing more than to touch them
I knew the Queen of Hearts could never fall for a simple joker
But for better or for worse you took my hand and you followed me
What you never knew was how I stacked the deck
I never deserved a second of your time and I think we both knew it
But you never took your eyes off mine and my hands worked quickly
You can only pull the rabbit out of the hat so many times before you lose your charm
And everyone always forgets that the vanishing act is last
They always said it like it was a sin to mix pleasure and business
But I never believed them and now you’re gone

The wind blows a sweet melody against the silver tubes that sound like the birds singing at the start of spring. They also sound like your voice, as sweet as syrup that flow smoothly from your lips like the rain dripping of those beautiful wind chimes. But your voice leaks a venom so poisonous that it can **** anyone who falls for its sweetness unlike the wind chimes in my backyard. Your melody is laced with lies like the song of sirens that lures people to their death. Your silver lining fools everyone into thinking that you're an angel when you're really just the same as a fallen one, doing no good except tricking everyone who trusts you. No one knows your true form, but I have seen your lies and tricks and am no longer fooled by your melody and can look past all the deceit. You don't deserve to be compared to the beauty of wind chimes but you already know that I can't help but make everything poetic. I'm a poet, I like to make everything poetic, and I guess I find you in everything, I can't help it. You see, I've been fighting to get out while going nowhere, you've been fighting to get in, but I haven't even given you the keys to my heart, maybe in this case I'm too old, and you're too young to deal with a girl with this much woman, with this much stress on my shoulders, there's only one seatbelt in my car, and when you figure out who I really am, when I'm not one of those beautiful wind chimes tinkling in your Mother's flower bed, we'll be hell-bent on crashing. You see, I don't speak to you in wind chime, maybe more so stagnant water. I'm probably eventually going to fall in love with you though, and part of me is going to die, but most of me is going to come alive, chaos... I can't stop thinking about your blue eyes, and how they drown me, they are simply two milky hurricanes, and I can't wait to get my house demolished by a storm with your name title... And that storm will make those little wind chimes ring and sing until they got torn off their post from the heavy winds and destructive force, just like how my heart will be ripped to shreds when you run in and our of it. So maybe I don't give out the key to my heart because I don't want it to be robbed or destroyed by someone who won't remember my name a month after I leave. You can never see the real me because then you'll flee and run as far as you can rather than staying to love me as I am. So maybe you'll go looking for someone else with poison in their voice who won't have all the problems I have, and whose heart isn't even locked. But that's just looking for trouble and I learned that trouble is never good and people never stay for long so when I don't want to get attached to you, you know why. Maybe if I was younger I would give away the key right away and invite trouble in but I've made that mistake far too often and I'm just learning now; that if you play with wind chimes, eventually you get stuck in the middle and those little things can hurt and leave bruises wherever they touch. I wonder a lot, so tell me, are you going to twirl me around in your arms or in your head?¿ are you going to kiss me on a backdrop of stars?¿ and make me exhale the solar system?¿ are you going to leave me your stardust to remember you by?¿ I guess I've died waiting for you, and when I say die I mean death reached out his hand for me to take and took me on a journey, he showed me what life would be like without you, so I guess I need you, I need you more than I put out... Is this loving you making me petty and dull?¿ and jealous of your bedsheets because they caress you when you're cold at night, and not my arms?¿ I promised not to get attached, but what happened?¿ I'm going to let you tear me apart like a pack of hungry wolves looking for meat on a long, cold winters night, I'm going to let you dig into my ******, juicy heart, and if you break my heart than I'll be honored to have it broken by you... I'm hoping my seashell wind chimes hanging in a spider-like branch of my old pine sound like Sunday church bells, or a welcoming to a funeral, or a welcoming to the wedding of the space between our fingers finally being filled... Or maybe my wind chimes will sound like home, the sound you hear on every windy day that reminds you everything will be okay... But maybe it will remind you of what you never wish to know again, maybe it will remind you of your first heart break and we all know how terrible that is, it will remind you how a tornado flew through your heart and ripped it to shreds even though you tried so hard to keep it out. But no amount of protection works against keeping your heart from loving and getting hurt because, lets face it, in the war between your heart and your brain, your heart will always win leaving your brain thinking of the consequences in the aftermath when the only thing it can do is nothing so you just sit on your couch listening to the wind chimes that bring so many memories.

She jots down her feelings into that black journal with the red rose on the faded cover and the spine made out of red yarn to keep it held together. She writes about a boy, and how he has one green eye and one blue. I guess you could say he was a beautiful human being to her. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted anything in her life. She never experienced any touchy touchy feely feely crap, but he had the veiniest arms and it's as if he had the roots of a tree clinging to him. She wanted those hands, those send, around her body. She wanted to kiss his lips to see if he tasted like a hurricane or a tornado, or simply even a raindrop. When you're around her hands get all clammy, her palms are soaked, as if she's holding the ocean in her hands, this is what sweaty palms of nervous love is. She wrote about how his eye was as blue as the ocean she was drowning in after he had gone and how the other was as green as the leaves on the tree she fell from when she first met him. She wrote about how that was the same tree whose roots clung to his arms and when she fell she lost her roots. His lips that she oh so dearly wanted to kiss were as red as the rose whose thorns pricked her heart and made it bleed and hurt every single time it beat. And his blond hair looked to be as yellow as the sun that she could find even on the cloudiest days, where the clouds were thick and the rain pouring but she found shelter being held in his arms. She loved counting the freckles on his face that were as numerous as the night stars. She fell in love with every single detail about him, yet she never saw the way he looked at her. She could paint a perfect picture of him just by memory, making sure every perfect detail was included, but she didn't see herself as beautiful as the boy with the blue eye and the green eye did. She's scared of him though, no matter how beautiful he may be, no matter how much he reminds her of the sun, or the roots of trees clinging to him like cobwebs clinging to her un-kisses okays. She wonders, what if she keeps quiet, what if she won't destroy you, but she's really hoping she doesn't destroy you with her smile, she doesn't want you to look for a way out when you haven't even made your way in. She finds her dad in silverware, as it clatters and falls to the floor, especially knives, dressed in memories, they stab her in the back like he stabbed her mom, he's why she's so scared, her Father up and left without reasoning, she's scared to put her trust in you like she did him. But, she'll find you in scalding water, as she's washing years of giving up off her history book hands... You're that abandoned building with a Danger sign hammered to a white chipped paint door, she's taking a chance and she's going to judge you for what's inside, and hopefully no halloween masks are covering up your heart, making you someone you're not. She's scared of what she will find inside but also knows she can't turn back when she find out. No matter what wires are broken and how unstable the building is she'll take her chances knowing that she very well can die in there but that would be better than dying before exploring the heart of her lover. She takes her adventure to learn more about this mysterious boy to find what lies behind his eyes hoping to glimpse into his heart and soul so she can jot down her discoveries in that journal. So she can see the truth in why those eyes are two different colors and why he never gets too close to anyone that loves him. He's just as scared as going in that abandoned building to find what lies within as she is, but he's even more wary of what he does ready to fled at the first sight of danger, at the first fallen wire he's ready to run but she keeps going trying to dig deeper into the mystery while he just doesn't want to be hurt by the girl with the brown eyes.

There's a garden full of flowers that no one gives a second look too. The only reason no one stops to gaze at the beauty of them or take a picture to share with friends is because the garden is full of dead flowers. No one notes the beauty of the wilted petals of them or how they're still partially standing even though they've long lost their color. No matter how much love and care these flowers get they will never be the same again because they already died and you can't change something like that. In this garden there's still some living flowers, but they're one step away from dying, and no one would care anyway. The garden is overrun with weeds taking any life still showing in the flowers destroying them even more. But these dead flowers are still beautiful through the death they have gone through. Dead flowers make me sad, they remind me of funerals, and the way we mark our favorite bible verses, our favorite pages, with a certain type, they remind me of sadness, like they no longer want to bow down to the sun, they just want to die off and be forgotten, kind of like me. You see, you weren't so much a green thumb, you made everything wilt, instead of strong and tall. You know how dead flowers are weak and brittle?¿ well, you made my body decompose while I was still much alive, it's like you liked to feel my body break. I hoped for rescue, I hope you'd take my hands out of my pockets, and tell me I wouldn't be stuck in this **** town forever, and we'd run away together. Definition of safe was sitting still, but how was I supposed to when this silence was destroying me?¿ you left me, and I became an abandoned hospital, wanting to help others from feeling the way I do, like a vacant amusement park, but how was I supposed to help them when I couldn't even help myself?¿ flowers must feel the same way after you teased them for so long, telling them they'd end up on some pretty girls doorstep, but they eventually got tired of waiting, tired of your *******, tired of your unfulfilled promises. I walk into this garden of dead flowers, maybe because I just want somewhere I can fit in because god knows I don't belong anywhere. I take some flowers with me, to remind me of myself, but mostly to remind me of you. The garden is now behind me because I can't bear to look at this death and pain anymore. I drop the flowers at your door, maybe you'll think of me when you see the way they're wilted and broken. Maybe you'll put them in a vase to try and keep them alive even though they're long past their expiration date and nothing you can do will bring them back to life. Just like the way you killed me and tried to fix your mistakes with some flowers that were soon to die like everything you touch does. I guess most things I find are already dead too so we must not be that different, you **** things and everything I know is being killed. I guess I should stop thinking about dead things and you because that does nothing but make me sad. My flowers are now in a glass cup, but with no water because no amount of care can make them survive, but I guess I couldn't leave them there because I can never leave dead things alone no matter what I do, even dead things need to be loved by someone. I hope when these dead flowers see the light, they go to heaven, and I know they're just flowers, but how come I'm doing the "polite" thing and pulling them out one by one, kissing them and laying them out to sundry?¿ if god won't accept them, well I'll just have to give him my hands, it won't be enough, but he can have them anyway. This is who I'm supposed to be, I'm supposed to be the bigger person here... I'm going to bury our memories and see what re-grows, and if rusty nails with pointy heads pop up, pointy enough to cut my index finger on and cause me to get a tetanus shot, well I know we weren't worth it, but we tried, we tried...